Heroes 3x04: I Am Become Death
I'm going to try to get back into posting more often than once every two months. I want to get back into recommending vids and music and, you know, actually occasionally letting people know that I'm still alive. To start, Heroes meta. Kind of meta.
I can't even think of an appropriate above-the-cut summary. I will remind you that I stuck with Smallville for 7 years and read an incredible quantity of mid-90's comics and - just, okay, it's kind of terrible, but it's my kind of terrible. Mostly. Oh, god.
The logic of Heroes can be almost perfectly summed up by this exchange:
Four Years Future Peter: "You have to stop them."
Current Peter: "Why me, why can't you do it?"
Four Years Future Peter: "I make terrible choices."
I am deeply, perversely satisfied that the Heroes timeline has essentially collapsed in on itself under the weight of incredible meddling. I mean - I was so in love with Five Years Gone, and so sure we would never see Future Hiro or FYG Peter again. I would have paid money to see just a cameo, and instead we're apparently getting an entire season of well-meaning time-travelers completely screwing over the universe.
Most of what I love about the timeline fuckery is that I've always felt it was inherently untenable and unsustainable, and I am being validated in big neon letters. (I mean, possibly more than I had actually wanted.) I've been crazy about timelines since the beginning, but it's been kind of obvious (at the very least since Peter accidentally wandered into the Shanti virus timeline and then left someone there) that everything these poor schmucks do just makes things worse. They've escalated from a 0.07% human mortality rate to a 93% one, and if "Hey, remember how awesome having a painter who could see the future was? We do too! Except we killed ours. Here, have another" Guy is literally right, the next step is complete world annihilation. That's pretty impressive. Don't you wish they'd listened to the guy who could see every possible variable and the woman who could dream the future and stuck with just letting someone blow up New York?
I shouldn't even attempt to take this show seriously anymore, but - you guys. Hiro and Ando cannot continue living in Slapstick Comedy Hour. Hiro ran a guy through with a sword, with the full and complete intent to kill him, and then buried a man alive who he was completely aware would die endlessly, repeatedly, in helpless agony and terror, possibly forever. And he's still acting like he just became the popular kid in middle school. I just - how can we possibly get from this smug, arrogant, immature, petty little boy Hiro to Future Hiro? I don't think it's even possible anymore! I've been doing my best to tolerate Hiro, despite him being a gravity suck for incredibly boring plotlines, but - jesus, how he's being presented as a character just makes my skin crawl. I'm now more sympathetic to Ando, who called Niki a bitch when she wouldn't continue to strip for him after his money had run out and then showed up at her house in the middle of the night. And - just, no.
On the other hand, I am reassured that Mohinder has been written with a steady, consistent hand to display THE WORST JUDGMENT IN THE ENTIRE WORLD in every conceivable timeline. Oh, Mohinder.
I don't know if Mohinder would be happy to know that someday Sylar becomes a very sweet, domestic man named Gabriel who - um, apparently raises the de-aged Noah Bennet as his own child, in Noah's family home. With his dog. (I'm starting to understand why Claire goes brunette and murderous in most timelines.) If nothing else, I think we all owe an apology to the 'Sylar and Gabriel are totally different people!' fans. Because apparently all of that Gabriel/Peter slash was plausible after all. *wince*
You know what? I don't care how utterly, completely off-the-wall Heroes has become. They have yarn timelines. When Peter gets home (assuming he manages to do so without, I don't know, causing space/time to completely implode), he will discover that Four Years Future Peter has left a yarn timeline in his apartment.
YARN. TIMELINE.
I'm really just that easy.
I can't even think of an appropriate above-the-cut summary. I will remind you that I stuck with Smallville for 7 years and read an incredible quantity of mid-90's comics and - just, okay, it's kind of terrible, but it's my kind of terrible. Mostly. Oh, god.
The logic of Heroes can be almost perfectly summed up by this exchange:
Four Years Future Peter: "You have to stop them."
Current Peter: "Why me, why can't you do it?"
Four Years Future Peter: "I make terrible choices."
I am deeply, perversely satisfied that the Heroes timeline has essentially collapsed in on itself under the weight of incredible meddling. I mean - I was so in love with Five Years Gone, and so sure we would never see Future Hiro or FYG Peter again. I would have paid money to see just a cameo, and instead we're apparently getting an entire season of well-meaning time-travelers completely screwing over the universe.
Most of what I love about the timeline fuckery is that I've always felt it was inherently untenable and unsustainable, and I am being validated in big neon letters. (I mean, possibly more than I had actually wanted.) I've been crazy about timelines since the beginning, but it's been kind of obvious (at the very least since Peter accidentally wandered into the Shanti virus timeline and then left someone there) that everything these poor schmucks do just makes things worse. They've escalated from a 0.07% human mortality rate to a 93% one, and if "Hey, remember how awesome having a painter who could see the future was? We do too! Except we killed ours. Here, have another" Guy is literally right, the next step is complete world annihilation. That's pretty impressive. Don't you wish they'd listened to the guy who could see every possible variable and the woman who could dream the future and stuck with just letting someone blow up New York?
I shouldn't even attempt to take this show seriously anymore, but - you guys. Hiro and Ando cannot continue living in Slapstick Comedy Hour. Hiro ran a guy through with a sword, with the full and complete intent to kill him, and then buried a man alive who he was completely aware would die endlessly, repeatedly, in helpless agony and terror, possibly forever. And he's still acting like he just became the popular kid in middle school. I just - how can we possibly get from this smug, arrogant, immature, petty little boy Hiro to Future Hiro? I don't think it's even possible anymore! I've been doing my best to tolerate Hiro, despite him being a gravity suck for incredibly boring plotlines, but - jesus, how he's being presented as a character just makes my skin crawl. I'm now more sympathetic to Ando, who called Niki a bitch when she wouldn't continue to strip for him after his money had run out and then showed up at her house in the middle of the night. And - just, no.
On the other hand, I am reassured that Mohinder has been written with a steady, consistent hand to display THE WORST JUDGMENT IN THE ENTIRE WORLD in every conceivable timeline. Oh, Mohinder.
I don't know if Mohinder would be happy to know that someday Sylar becomes a very sweet, domestic man named Gabriel who - um, apparently raises the de-aged Noah Bennet as his own child, in Noah's family home. With his dog. (I'm starting to understand why Claire goes brunette and murderous in most timelines.) If nothing else, I think we all owe an apology to the 'Sylar and Gabriel are totally different people!' fans. Because apparently all of that Gabriel/Peter slash was plausible after all. *wince*
You know what? I don't care how utterly, completely off-the-wall Heroes has become. They have yarn timelines. When Peter gets home (assuming he manages to do so without, I don't know, causing space/time to completely implode), he will discover that Four Years Future Peter has left a yarn timeline in his apartment.
YARN. TIMELINE.
I'm really just that easy.