Life update (for Sar, who makes faces when I just do music posts)
A few things:
!.) I started the online course (Intro/General Psych), and things are going fine except that I'm probably over-studying and need more general supplies, and that at this stage of my life I thought I'd be doing a lot more than one online class that's still kicking my ass now and then.
@.) My birthday's this Thursday, and I think the plan is family dinner (if we can drag out my brother, who is doing a dozen things at once this semester, including the Multiple Sclerosis bike ride, which he's raised $2000 dollars for), and hanging out with TG later. (He's making me cake!)
#.) 'Healthy weight' is a weird notion. I'm at, in theory, a healthy weight - slightly low end of normal, more precisely an aesthetic weight, and I'm happy with how my body looks. But I know one of the reasons I'm maintaining this weight (and currently losing) is because sometimes I just can't eat much. I've had to switch this week from 'whole grains! fruits and/or vegetables with every meal! lean protein!' to 'find something, anything you're willing to eat, because you'll feel even worse if you don't'. This isn't my favorite thing in the world, and it's jarring to try to reconcile 'I feel physically bad enough that I'm not eating properly' with the deeply-ingrained 'yay, I'm losing weight' reaction.
$.) Sometimes I have to remind myself that, barring small trends in either direction, there are about as many women as there are men in the world. Half of the entire human population is female. This should feel self-evident but it really, really, really doesn't. One out of every two humans is female. Half of the world population is female. Where's the representation, exactly? How does half of the human population end up, in many, many places of the world, effectively an oppressed minority?
%.) I'm at this funny balancing point where part of my life is how I wanted it to be at this stage, but - the majority just isn't. And it's not that I want, mentally, to be someone else, it's that I thought I'd be more at this stage of my life. I thought I'd be a lot healthier, and achieving a lot more, and just - doing and being more in general. This is especially difficult with most of my friends right now being in the early throes of their academic life, or edging toward adult careers. I'm happy when I feel well enough to get out of the apartment.
I keep meaning to do entertaining posts about - um, other things (especially this long ramble I've been meaning to get out about fanon), but I think that'll come later. Did anyone download the music in my last post? Like any of it? Want similar or vastly different things?
!.) I started the online course (Intro/General Psych), and things are going fine except that I'm probably over-studying and need more general supplies, and that at this stage of my life I thought I'd be doing a lot more than one online class that's still kicking my ass now and then.
@.) My birthday's this Thursday, and I think the plan is family dinner (if we can drag out my brother, who is doing a dozen things at once this semester, including the Multiple Sclerosis bike ride, which he's raised $2000 dollars for), and hanging out with TG later. (He's making me cake!)
#.) 'Healthy weight' is a weird notion. I'm at, in theory, a healthy weight - slightly low end of normal, more precisely an aesthetic weight, and I'm happy with how my body looks. But I know one of the reasons I'm maintaining this weight (and currently losing) is because sometimes I just can't eat much. I've had to switch this week from 'whole grains! fruits and/or vegetables with every meal! lean protein!' to 'find something, anything you're willing to eat, because you'll feel even worse if you don't'. This isn't my favorite thing in the world, and it's jarring to try to reconcile 'I feel physically bad enough that I'm not eating properly' with the deeply-ingrained 'yay, I'm losing weight' reaction.
$.) Sometimes I have to remind myself that, barring small trends in either direction, there are about as many women as there are men in the world. Half of the entire human population is female. This should feel self-evident but it really, really, really doesn't. One out of every two humans is female. Half of the world population is female. Where's the representation, exactly? How does half of the human population end up, in many, many places of the world, effectively an oppressed minority?
%.) I'm at this funny balancing point where part of my life is how I wanted it to be at this stage, but - the majority just isn't. And it's not that I want, mentally, to be someone else, it's that I thought I'd be more at this stage of my life. I thought I'd be a lot healthier, and achieving a lot more, and just - doing and being more in general. This is especially difficult with most of my friends right now being in the early throes of their academic life, or edging toward adult careers. I'm happy when I feel well enough to get out of the apartment.
I keep meaning to do entertaining posts about - um, other things (especially this long ramble I've been meaning to get out about fanon), but I think that'll come later. Did anyone download the music in my last post? Like any of it? Want similar or vastly different things?