On the job, my friends
So...here I am, sittin in a 7' by 7' cubicle, clacking away on a Dell computer, coffee and muffin on the right, newspaper on the left, open to the crossword section. You think I'm kidding. The sad part is, I'm not. At all. This here is where my summer has gone...down the economic shithole. My desperate need for money has pushed me to the brink...and now I've sailed over. It would be different if I were working at Jamba Juice, or Vons, or even Subway right now...but am I? No sirry. I'm in an insurance office, deleting duplicated names of the insured off the company Customer Information List. Basically, cleaning up after someone else's mistake.
Now when they told me they had a "data-keeping project" for me, I didn't exactly have this in mind. Sweeping up after some perpetually hung-over employee that has three million brain farts in a row, suffers several intense aneurysms, and then decides to make a list of the Customer Information. 6,784 names...and over half just repeats. EXCELLENT WORK, COLLEAGUE!! Perhaps we should cut down on the binge drinking at happy hour in the Buckaneer next time, waddya say? Thanks, that'd be greaaat...oh, and we're gunna need you to come in on Saturday...yea. Greaatt. Sorry...Office Space slip up. I feel like whatshisname in the movie!! How scary is that.
So while im sittin here taking a break from burning my retinas with endless Excel sheets of numbers, I'll describe the rest of my office mates. Why? Because I have absolutely nothing better to do...and they're paying me 11$ an hour to do it. So! Let's see who we should start with...
Sandra! My lovely Latino receptionist partner. So fucking annoying I just sometimes dont know what to do with myself. First, the accent. Dear God in heaven...the accent. You know how there are those accents that are cute, like Fez on That 70's Show? And then there are those accents that make you want to turn around and slap the person in the face and scream "YOU'RE NOT IN MEXICO ANYMORE LEARN HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH GODDAMNIT SO THE REST OF US GRINGOS CAN UNDERSTAND WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY!!!! (assuming its important enough to say in the first place, which it most times is not). Our dearest Sandra has one of the latter. Fucking marvelous. She also has black people lips and a mass of multicolored pubic hair springing in every direction from her little mexican head. Dear God I hope no one from this office gets ahold of this...that could be the end of me. Knock on wood! Fuck...i forgot I'm surrounded in bleak gray vinyl and even bleaker tan metal. There is no wood to be seen. Fabulousss!
AH lunch time!!!! My favorite part of the day! Well, obviously. Be back in a jiff
Now when they told me they had a "data-keeping project" for me, I didn't exactly have this in mind. Sweeping up after some perpetually hung-over employee that has three million brain farts in a row, suffers several intense aneurysms, and then decides to make a list of the Customer Information. 6,784 names...and over half just repeats. EXCELLENT WORK, COLLEAGUE!! Perhaps we should cut down on the binge drinking at happy hour in the Buckaneer next time, waddya say? Thanks, that'd be greaaat...oh, and we're gunna need you to come in on Saturday...yea. Greaatt. Sorry...Office Space slip up. I feel like whatshisname in the movie!! How scary is that.
So while im sittin here taking a break from burning my retinas with endless Excel sheets of numbers, I'll describe the rest of my office mates. Why? Because I have absolutely nothing better to do...and they're paying me 11$ an hour to do it. So! Let's see who we should start with...
Sandra! My lovely Latino receptionist partner. So fucking annoying I just sometimes dont know what to do with myself. First, the accent. Dear God in heaven...the accent. You know how there are those accents that are cute, like Fez on That 70's Show? And then there are those accents that make you want to turn around and slap the person in the face and scream "YOU'RE NOT IN MEXICO ANYMORE LEARN HOW TO SPEAK ENGLISH GODDAMNIT SO THE REST OF US GRINGOS CAN UNDERSTAND WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY!!!! (assuming its important enough to say in the first place, which it most times is not). Our dearest Sandra has one of the latter. Fucking marvelous. She also has black people lips and a mass of multicolored pubic hair springing in every direction from her little mexican head. Dear God I hope no one from this office gets ahold of this...that could be the end of me. Knock on wood! Fuck...i forgot I'm surrounded in bleak gray vinyl and even bleaker tan metal. There is no wood to be seen. Fabulousss!
AH lunch time!!!! My favorite part of the day! Well, obviously. Be back in a jiff