Hello.
My name is Daphne, and my boyfriend's (fiance's) name is Zak. I don't know that I'll post much mostly because I'm not a parent... yet. I will be on July 24th tho. I joined this community 'cause I have a lot of concerns about raising this kid (don't know what it is yet, have to wait till next month) and one of my major concerns is the heavy Mormon/LDS influence of this state.
I was raised in a mormon home, but I have a lot of issues with their beliefs. I'm more of an open-minded, do my own thing with a little gothic influence - type person.
I don't hate mormons, but I do dislike the ones that are totally prideful. They look down on others, and judge those who don't believe as they do. The main word that comes to mind is hypocrites. In my ward there was this lady who everyone thought was an Angel and perfect in every way. One day I came to church with my tongue pierced and some people whispered and some pointed and were shocked. Of course the teens thought it was the coolest thing. When we came home and I was talking with my sister, Camary. She said her teacher, Mrs. Swan - the angel they worship - told her that she couldn't believe how sinful I was. She wouldn't let any of her kids do what I did and has no respect for me and hopes Camary doesn't turn out as "bad" as I am.
I didn't peirce it for the reasons everyone assumes. I did it to prove just how judgmental they all are. It was mostly a thing I did to prove my thoughts about the church to my mom. She saw and heard right away the commotion such a little, stupid act caused. She said she heard one mother tell her child to never talk to people like me. She then understood my feelings and it hurt her that her own religion had taught these people to judge so harshly, especially of her own kid.
I don't want my kid to be judged or lack the friends he/he should have just cause we've decided not to raise them in the mormon church. Me and Zak are good, open minded people. And want the same of our kid. To believe what they want and live how they want. But to be open-minded and a good kid.
But already I can see how hard thats gonna be.
There was a man who came to our church for a few weeks. He smelled of smoke and alcohol, wasn't dressed up at all and had a pack of cigs in his shirt pocket. People pointed at him and you could just tell by their faces what they thought. No one talked to him or welcomed him to the church. If they really were so righteous and true I would think someone would welcome him and befriend him and support him in coming to our church. No one did. Not even their Angel, Mrs. Swan. I talked to him the second week he came. His wife had passed away but before she did she was looking into the LDS faith and tried to get him to come. Telling him how nice the people were and all about how welcomed she felt. He decided to check it out but he just felt judged. He read the same Book of Mormon that was given to her and felt he understood their beliefs but once he came he didn't understand how they could judge him so much. Yes, he smoked and drinked. But that doesn't make him a bad guy and if he was seriously considering joining it would be a sacrifice he would be willing to make but he wasn't so sure anymore. He didn't want to be the guy who smokes and looked down on cause he used to drink.
When my kid goes to school I don't want him to be the "hes/shes not mormon" kid. Or the freak with a Gothic dad (Zak's goth). I don't want people to ignore him/her or judge him/her cause they're different. I want my kid to be the kid with a cool mom and awesome dad. My dad was an awesome cook. Everyone thought my dad was cool cause he cooked great food. I want to be "the cool mom" and have my kids friends always feel welcome at our house, come over at anytime (even late at night and eat all our food if they wanted. I know its crazy but thats what I want. Its hard to get that in Utah tho.
Anyway, I've rambled enough. Mostly I might lurk around this group, maybe leave a comment or two. Just wanted to at least post an intro so someone didnt kick me out or something. =)
I was raised in a mormon home, but I have a lot of issues with their beliefs. I'm more of an open-minded, do my own thing with a little gothic influence - type person.
I don't hate mormons, but I do dislike the ones that are totally prideful. They look down on others, and judge those who don't believe as they do. The main word that comes to mind is hypocrites. In my ward there was this lady who everyone thought was an Angel and perfect in every way. One day I came to church with my tongue pierced and some people whispered and some pointed and were shocked. Of course the teens thought it was the coolest thing. When we came home and I was talking with my sister, Camary. She said her teacher, Mrs. Swan - the angel they worship - told her that she couldn't believe how sinful I was. She wouldn't let any of her kids do what I did and has no respect for me and hopes Camary doesn't turn out as "bad" as I am.
I didn't peirce it for the reasons everyone assumes. I did it to prove just how judgmental they all are. It was mostly a thing I did to prove my thoughts about the church to my mom. She saw and heard right away the commotion such a little, stupid act caused. She said she heard one mother tell her child to never talk to people like me. She then understood my feelings and it hurt her that her own religion had taught these people to judge so harshly, especially of her own kid.
I don't want my kid to be judged or lack the friends he/he should have just cause we've decided not to raise them in the mormon church. Me and Zak are good, open minded people. And want the same of our kid. To believe what they want and live how they want. But to be open-minded and a good kid.
But already I can see how hard thats gonna be.
There was a man who came to our church for a few weeks. He smelled of smoke and alcohol, wasn't dressed up at all and had a pack of cigs in his shirt pocket. People pointed at him and you could just tell by their faces what they thought. No one talked to him or welcomed him to the church. If they really were so righteous and true I would think someone would welcome him and befriend him and support him in coming to our church. No one did. Not even their Angel, Mrs. Swan. I talked to him the second week he came. His wife had passed away but before she did she was looking into the LDS faith and tried to get him to come. Telling him how nice the people were and all about how welcomed she felt. He decided to check it out but he just felt judged. He read the same Book of Mormon that was given to her and felt he understood their beliefs but once he came he didn't understand how they could judge him so much. Yes, he smoked and drinked. But that doesn't make him a bad guy and if he was seriously considering joining it would be a sacrifice he would be willing to make but he wasn't so sure anymore. He didn't want to be the guy who smokes and looked down on cause he used to drink.
When my kid goes to school I don't want him to be the "hes/shes not mormon" kid. Or the freak with a Gothic dad (Zak's goth). I don't want people to ignore him/her or judge him/her cause they're different. I want my kid to be the kid with a cool mom and awesome dad. My dad was an awesome cook. Everyone thought my dad was cool cause he cooked great food. I want to be "the cool mom" and have my kids friends always feel welcome at our house, come over at anytime (even late at night and eat all our food if they wanted. I know its crazy but thats what I want. Its hard to get that in Utah tho.
Anyway, I've rambled enough. Mostly I might lurk around this group, maybe leave a comment or two. Just wanted to at least post an intro so someone didnt kick me out or something. =)