so it all started when i made out w/ this girl...
i was so drunk. we all drank an assload of jager. it was amazing. there were only 4 of us. 2 guys and a girl and a lesbian.... go figure. well we have the bright idea of playing spin the bottle. remember, 1 of the guys is in a relationship and the other girl was in a relationship (a shitty one...like all relationships where both parties continuously cheat on each other...) anywho, i didn't know she had a boyfriend. i did, however, know that she's straight. goddamned straight girls.... so we decided to play spin the bottle, and guy #1's girlfriend showed up w/ her friend. so it's not like we cut the idea out completely...we just incorporated a few more people. crazy huh? well here comes the good part. i made out w/ the girl that has a boyfriend. and later on that night we played truth or dare. guy #1 dares the girl to call her boyfriend and breakup w/ him. wtf? who has a boyfriend...and who wanted to have wild passionate monkey sex w/ me in the bathroom (she started it).... again, i say, wtf? i refuse to have someone make a fool of me. that's what my last entry is about. so anyway. said girl is there when i arrive this evening after work. w/ her boyfriend. and they eventually get into a huge fight (so did the rest of us when we tried to get dana's car out of a ditch...and i'm the only sober one who actually likes everyone else in the group. agh. drama!) so anywho. they get in a fight and she's saying something about all the different girls who have been calling his phone. and then she says something about him kissing other chicks...and he said..."well dammit! you do the same thing!" oh, fuck that! i might not be a lady...but i sure as hell know when to leave! shit. he pulled that out and i fucking ran. hell no! i didn't know she was dating him...i fucked up by even making out w/ her. we're NOT, i repeat, NOT...i mean...we'll never ever ever ever have anything sexual ever happen between us ever again...including kissing while playing spin the bottle. hell-fucking-no, ladies and gentlemen. that's a fucked up situation and the shit's about 3 1/2 inches from the fan. i'm running. end of story.
i'm not going to be an accessory to cheating. i just spent a year of my life w/ someone who cheated on me God knows how many times.... agh. so i was going to say something about me hearing from a certain someone that my "whore of an ex" (that's what came out of the person's mouth) was seen with a fat ugly bulldyke. i was going to make a smart-ass comment about it...kinda like, "perfect match, don't you think?" but, then i thought...well she's going to think i care a lot just because i mentioned her. honestly...hand to God, i don't all that much anymore. and i love it. why? because i'm free. everytime i start to miss her...i think of that. i'm free to do whatever the hell i want, when i want to do it. and if i want to do a hot girl...or a hot straight girl...i can. and the thought of that really puts a twinkle in my eye. i mean, am i completely over her? no. however, i think of her less and less each day...and somedays i don't think of her at all. and it's good. and i'm starting to not hate her anymore. that's a sign that i'm caring less and less about her and her well-being. whatev.
anyway. so everyone's fine and no one got any dui's. thank God.
and i still love my new job.
and i'm about to read this anne rice book called "pandora." i've heard it was amazing and that i will soon be hooked on this woman. that'd be cool.
so, i'm going to the castle friday. i should have went last weekend. agh. but i'm definitely going this weekend. it'll be awesome. and i can finally see the person that i've been thinking so much about, here recently. it should be exciting. i think i'm gonna make one of the straight boys go w/ me (and ISAAC! YAY!). we had a fun time last weekend playing pool. and he so liked getting hit on by all the boys. haha. i don't care what he said, it made him feel sexy. hah. i love grant! :)
so i'm going to read now.
oh, one more thing. so nows the time in a person's life (right after the first big break-up) that the person does one of two things. 1-goes out and parties. becomes a whore. whatev. 2-completely shuts himself/herself away and doesn't do anything. i don't really want to do either of the above. i want to go out and have fun. but i don't want to over do it. also, i want to protect myself from things that might harm me, my happiness, my sanity, my body, my mind...all of me. i've still only slept w/ 1 person since michelle (and only made out w/ [w/ sexual intentions {sort of}] with one person)...that still makes my total 6, which is honestly nothing to be ashamed of. i keep wanting to change my life completely...become a different person w/ a different direction in life. i think i'm getting around to it...but kinda slowly. anywho. all i know is that i refuse to become what i hated for so long...a lying dirty whore. i'm proud of myself guys. i've done well, but i haven't done everything that i know i should. agh. anyway.
seeing all these relationships around me...makes me glad to be single. erin too.
so i'm reading now and going to bed soon.
after this, so george carlin has this stand up routine that goes something like this, "so, this hippie came up to me the other day and he said something about big business taking over. i said, 'this fucking country is founded upon big business. and what do you do you fucking hippie? you smoke weed and then go buy shit off the dollar menu, then you go to starbucks and get an iced mochacino w/ an extra shot of expresso and a shot of vanilla. then, you go to blockbuster to rent a movie. you're just a fucking little pawn of the big business that you so hate.'"
george carlin is amazing...and so is tool. i really really love this song.... and what's even better is when katy star and nick sing it out loud together. yay! :)
Hooker with a Penis [tool]
I met a boy wearing Vans, 501s, and a
Dope Beastie t, nipple rings, and
New tattoos that claimed that he
Was OGT,
From '92,
The first EP.
And in between
Sips of Coke
He told me that
He thought
We were sellin' out,
Layin' down,
Suckin' up
To the man.
Well now I've got some
A-dvice for you, little buddy.
Before you point the finger
You should know that
I'm the man,
And if I'm the man,
Then you're the man, and
He's the man as well so you can
Point that fuckin' finger up your ass.
All you know about me is what I've sold you,
Dumb fuck.
I sold out long before you ever heard my name.
I sold my soul to make a record,
Dip shit,
And you bought one.
So I've got some
Advice for you, little buddy.
Before you point your finger
You should know that
I'm the man,
If I'm the fuckin' man
Then you're the fuckin' man as well
So you can
Point that fuckin' finger up your ass.
All you know about me is what I've sold you,
Dumb fuck.
I sold out long before you ever heard my name.
I sold my soul to make a record,
Dip shit,
And you bought one.
All you read and
Wear or see and
Hear on TV
Is a product
Begging for your
Fatass dirty
Dollar
So...Shut up and
Buy my new record
Send more money
Fuck you, buddy.
i'm not going to be an accessory to cheating. i just spent a year of my life w/ someone who cheated on me God knows how many times.... agh. so i was going to say something about me hearing from a certain someone that my "whore of an ex" (that's what came out of the person's mouth) was seen with a fat ugly bulldyke. i was going to make a smart-ass comment about it...kinda like, "perfect match, don't you think?" but, then i thought...well she's going to think i care a lot just because i mentioned her. honestly...hand to God, i don't all that much anymore. and i love it. why? because i'm free. everytime i start to miss her...i think of that. i'm free to do whatever the hell i want, when i want to do it. and if i want to do a hot girl...or a hot straight girl...i can. and the thought of that really puts a twinkle in my eye. i mean, am i completely over her? no. however, i think of her less and less each day...and somedays i don't think of her at all. and it's good. and i'm starting to not hate her anymore. that's a sign that i'm caring less and less about her and her well-being. whatev.
anyway. so everyone's fine and no one got any dui's. thank God.
and i still love my new job.
and i'm about to read this anne rice book called "pandora." i've heard it was amazing and that i will soon be hooked on this woman. that'd be cool.
so, i'm going to the castle friday. i should have went last weekend. agh. but i'm definitely going this weekend. it'll be awesome. and i can finally see the person that i've been thinking so much about, here recently. it should be exciting. i think i'm gonna make one of the straight boys go w/ me (and ISAAC! YAY!). we had a fun time last weekend playing pool. and he so liked getting hit on by all the boys. haha. i don't care what he said, it made him feel sexy. hah. i love grant! :)
so i'm going to read now.
oh, one more thing. so nows the time in a person's life (right after the first big break-up) that the person does one of two things. 1-goes out and parties. becomes a whore. whatev. 2-completely shuts himself/herself away and doesn't do anything. i don't really want to do either of the above. i want to go out and have fun. but i don't want to over do it. also, i want to protect myself from things that might harm me, my happiness, my sanity, my body, my mind...all of me. i've still only slept w/ 1 person since michelle (and only made out w/ [w/ sexual intentions {sort of}] with one person)...that still makes my total 6, which is honestly nothing to be ashamed of. i keep wanting to change my life completely...become a different person w/ a different direction in life. i think i'm getting around to it...but kinda slowly. anywho. all i know is that i refuse to become what i hated for so long...a lying dirty whore. i'm proud of myself guys. i've done well, but i haven't done everything that i know i should. agh. anyway.
seeing all these relationships around me...makes me glad to be single. erin too.
so i'm reading now and going to bed soon.
after this, so george carlin has this stand up routine that goes something like this, "so, this hippie came up to me the other day and he said something about big business taking over. i said, 'this fucking country is founded upon big business. and what do you do you fucking hippie? you smoke weed and then go buy shit off the dollar menu, then you go to starbucks and get an iced mochacino w/ an extra shot of expresso and a shot of vanilla. then, you go to blockbuster to rent a movie. you're just a fucking little pawn of the big business that you so hate.'"
george carlin is amazing...and so is tool. i really really love this song.... and what's even better is when katy star and nick sing it out loud together. yay! :)
Hooker with a Penis [tool]
I met a boy wearing Vans, 501s, and a
Dope Beastie t, nipple rings, and
New tattoos that claimed that he
Was OGT,
From '92,
The first EP.
And in between
Sips of Coke
He told me that
He thought
We were sellin' out,
Layin' down,
Suckin' up
To the man.
Well now I've got some
A-dvice for you, little buddy.
Before you point the finger
You should know that
I'm the man,
And if I'm the man,
Then you're the man, and
He's the man as well so you can
Point that fuckin' finger up your ass.
All you know about me is what I've sold you,
Dumb fuck.
I sold out long before you ever heard my name.
I sold my soul to make a record,
Dip shit,
And you bought one.
So I've got some
Advice for you, little buddy.
Before you point your finger
You should know that
I'm the man,
If I'm the fuckin' man
Then you're the fuckin' man as well
So you can
Point that fuckin' finger up your ass.
All you know about me is what I've sold you,
Dumb fuck.
I sold out long before you ever heard my name.
I sold my soul to make a record,
Dip shit,
And you bought one.
All you read and
Wear or see and
Hear on TV
Is a product
Begging for your
Fatass dirty
Dollar
So...Shut up and
Buy my new record
Send more money
Fuck you, buddy.