(no subject)
so...ginger (not michelle's aunt) and i have been playing phone tag for a while now. we haven't actually gotten to speak to one another. hah. weird. i'm surprised she even remembered that she had my number, but then again i have self-confidence like a champ now. i mean...damn.
oh...and i had an amazing time last night. i went to chief's w/ jeremy.... i was supposed to meet her up there, but she got way too drunk and went home. hah. hilarious. so anywho. cassie was having a bad night. i got her drunk...and high. i mean, what can i say? i take care of my waitresses. then we all ended up at shore's.... some of his friends showed up and we played spades...all night. oh, interesting note guys.... cassie and shore were at the waitstand talking, then i walked over to shore and offered him a shot. he accepted and then said, "i think you should go after cassie, i mean, she swings both ways." weird. other than hey, that was the first thing he said to me last night. so, anyway, i waited on them to get finished and then we all left. i guess it was about 4ish. we all ended up at shore's.... some of his friends showed up and we played spades...all night. but like i said...i had an amazing time last night and sunrises are so beautiful on the lake...especially when you're sitting on a porch, burning one, drinking a beer, and hanging out with some of the coolest people in the world. people who make you feel good about yourself. people who build you up. people who don't have drama in their lives.... btw, my life has been mostly drama free lately. go me!
on an even more pleasing note, i called her today. the reception on her phone was horrible. she called me back like 5 times. it turns out that she was roaming...b/c she was in brevard, nc visiting her brother...and didn't get reception. it made me feel so special that she would actually call me back that many times...just so i wouldn't think that she was ignoring me. i thought things would be so weird, but surprisingly they're not. she knows about michelle. hell, i'm pretty sure she's met michelle, i think. at first i actually talked about michelle a lot, and all she did was listen. she didn't try to give me some generic advice that everyone else tries to give you. she simply listened. she told me about her past...and i told her about mine. i shared with her things i've never shared with anyone, at all. i never thought that this would happen. i never thought that i could look to her for companionship. simple companionship...nothing more, nothing less. it's nice to have someone call you just to check in. it's nice to have someone to hold...or who can hold you. it's an amazing feeling to have someone ask you what you want, and to help you discover what you want. she has the capability to be there for me in a way that no one else can. neither one of us are in a relationship, or do we want to be in a relationship. more than anything she's my friend. she really is a completely different person that i gave her credit for when i first met her. and there's no jealousy at all. that's my favorite part. i'm not jealous of anyone in her life and she's not jealous of anyone in my life. just last night she saw how close i've gotten to adrienne. she asked me if i liked her. and she seemed happy that i might have a crush. she told me it might be good for me. but, i don't have a crush on adrienne, because she's straight and she's just my friend. never again will i have anything to do with a so-called straight girl...whatever. curious. confused...that's the best word to describe it, i guess. michelle's just confused. but, never again will i make that same mistake. anywho. so we both know what we want...and it's not a relationship with each other (her and i, that is). few people know what's going on...and i'd actually prefer it stay that way. and everyone i told is completely trustworthy...and if they're not then i'll find out and they'll have to deal with me. people complicate things too much. so to everyone else she'll be just a friend that i see every once in a while, but to me she's so much more. she's a pillar of strength for me right now. she's helping me get over michelle, and she knows that. she realizes how hurt i am. she realizes how i've been treated. she's been brutally honest, and she has yet to hurt my feelings. she's the most straight forward and honest person i've met in my entire life...and i love it because it's exactly what i want.
btw, there's some rumors going around about adrienne and i...they're not true. we're not together. it wasn't adrienne i went home with wed. night. i just took adrienne home before i went somewhere else. and it really doesn't help that adrienne just broke up w/ her boyfriend and asked me if i wanted to be her roommate. but it's one hell of a deal man. i'd be lying if i said i haven't been thinking about it. and she lives in the nice new apts. in downtown easley across from joe's.... i probably won't move in with her, but it does sound good....