On Discouragement

[ragnvaeig]

I had a discussion with a friend about a particular prospect who is currently considering dedicating himself to religious path that's at least very similar to the one I've chosen. Without having any real information on said prospect's level of commitment, to me this person seems to have an incomplete understanding of what this particular deity

Comments

[jenett]

Still wouldn't be a consideration in taking someone as a student. (Part of being a librarian is, in my opinion, being really aware of how poorly many people have been taught to find and make use of information in a way that actually works for them.)

But, that aside, my general take is mostly:
- Ask some questions. How did they come to that conclusion?

- Look at the sources. Some books are really oversimplify. Some are flat out wrong. Meditation and/or ritual experience - the stuff we usually call Unverified Personal Gnosis - can be great sources, but they can also be misinterpreted if we don't have a context to put them in. Talk through this whole process with student.

- Ask the student to spend some time learning more - in multiple forms. So, for example, I might ask them to do more research, but also to look at meditation, perhaps creating some form of art about/to honor the deity, perhaps a guided meditation, perhaps a ritual we design together, perhaps divination. Exactly what I suggest depends a lot on the student, and on their current level of skill, and on what we're talking about.

- Talk about what comes out of that, and how the student feels about that. Talk about other options, depending on what they're bringing up - maybe exploring other deities. Maybe taking a break from anything around this deity for a time until they've got some more skills and context to put the relationship or interest into.

As I said, it's mostly not relevant for us until quite late in Dedicant training: up to that point people are asked to develop a cordial working relationships with the deities we work with as a group, but we have a lot of control over how those deities are presented and framed in the group work at the same time. By the time we start encouraging a direct personal individual exploration, the student has some useful tools and context to put the information into.

If a student came in and was all "Must honor this deity of biscuits in all our group rituals!" That'd be a huge fit issue, because that is by and large not what we do. Those deity relationships are mostly for personal work, though they might be shared with the group as part of a training discussion in a specific way.

I also suspect I'd have issues with persistent desire for ignorance - along the lines of "Deity of rare meat!" versus "Only Vegetarian Deity!" (i.e. stuff at the extreme points of the spectrum.) Deity of the select savory tart, I'd be encouraging more work and an openness to additional information, and keep checking back.

[ragnvaeig]

Hm, interesting! Thank you.

I'm hoping to keep out of a mentor/student relationship with this person as I haven't the energy to handle that right now, but I think you may have given me fodder for at least a couple hours' worth of "let's help you figure this out, shall we?"

[jenett]

If you haven't read (or they haven't read) _Devoted to You_, edited by Judy Harrow, that might be an excellent place to have them start: four people wrote extensive essays about how they developed their relationship with a particular deity (Anubis, Brigid, Aphrodite, and Gaia) and talk about resources, but also the process of working out what stuff books say vs. what stuff comes via personal experience.