Comments | nonfluffypagans: Pagan wedding brainstorming needed!

ladymalen in nonfluffypagans

Pagan wedding brainstorming needed!

Jul 09, 2007 09:13

My guy and I are getting married (insert random 'OMGIMFREAKINGOUT' spazz here). We're doing the civil veremony thing in a few weeks, mostly for the benefits we'll get from the Navy. We're planning a handfasting for later this year (the 'real' wedding in our eyes). Now I need non fluffy help in the form of links to communities (my searchs just came ( Read more... )

ritual

Comments 49

chaos_current July 9 2007, 13:27:43 UTC

Maybe you should include, yanno, like.. what y'all believe? I'm not terribly familar with handfasting / wedding ceremonies, but I just imagine it'd be a bit different for, say, a Celtic reconstructionist and a Hellenic or a.. Asatru or ... someone who follows an Egyptian style belief system. I cannot remember what those folk are called.

darklily66 July 9 2007, 13:33:48 UTC

Kemetic

chaos_current July 9 2007, 13:35:57 UTC

Ya. I am to be betting Kemetic would be different from Celtic would be different from Norse would be different from Greek.

Although who were those folk -- I don't think it's actually pagan, but wasn't there some culture that would have the grooms party fight through the brides party and "kidnap" the bride and drag her off for the wedding? I tried to convince my girlfriend we should do that, but she seemed to think her family would be slaughtered, even in faux fighting.

darklily66 July 9 2007, 13:41:04 UTC

My brother was married to his wife in a Buddhist ceremony. She is Laotian. He had to "fight" through the male members of her family at the door to the hall in order for the ceremony to take place. They didn't put up much of a struggle.

Thread 24

wilhelmina_d July 9 2007, 13:27:51 UTC

There are now several books out on the subject, though my favorite is still "Handfasted and Heartjoined" by Maeve Rhea. Good luck & congrats.

ladymalen July 9 2007, 13:36:41 UTC

Thanks and I'll head over to Amazon right now to look for it.

theadydal July 9 2007, 14:59:12 UTC

Really if you want to go way back and avoid the Celtic re con stuff then you are looking a meal of at least bread and salt shared by the bride and groom while sharing the same, chair, plate/bowl/trencher and the same cup.

They would seat and feed each other while their genealogies were proclaimed, what land, goods, skills they each brought to the marriage ( both of which were about their status ) and law about the type of wedding it was and their duties to each other were recited for them in front of witnesses.

They would then toast each other proclaiming their vows and have those gathered toast and bless them.

I wish you well together as you take joy in each other as you support each in their endeavors and may your Gods look kindly on you both.

ladymalen July 9 2007, 17:14:31 UTC

Thank you so much and thank you for the suggestions!

greenkira July 9 2007, 15:18:03 UTC

When I got married, we built a stone circle out on the old family farm in the weeks beforehand and had a sunset wedding on the summer solstice. The reception was on-site, with most people camping, directly after the ceremony. It was somewhat Asatru for my husband, somewhat Celtic for me, and referenced things from the magical group I was taking part in. Most of the people were in medieval garb and we walked out of the circle under an arch of swords ( ... )

ladymalen July 9 2007, 17:18:13 UTC

That sounds wonderful! *lol*

And yeah, it's going to be a pretty mixed crowd so it will be intersting to see some people's reactions.

Congrats to you and yours!

voxwoman July 9 2007, 15:19:44 UTC

I and my fiancee wrote our own ceremony w/o clergy (since we were legally married by a judge in the local courthouse). We based it on Quaker and Jewish ceremonies (since they just require bride & groom and witnesses).

Since you're getting the legal stuff out of the way beforehand, you can make your vows as you like to each other.

(of course, that marriage didn't last more than 9 years. This, my current and final marriage, has lasted 15 so far, and we eloped and had a civil ceremony, with no wedding party at all). This led me to the conclusion that the wedding reception is the Big Thing, and its purpose is to introduce the bride and groom to their respective extended families, and for the in-laws to meet each other. Otherwise, you aren't going to see any of these people until someone dies, and that's a crappy time to meet the cousins...

ladymalen July 9 2007, 17:20:39 UTC

*dies laughing*

Yeah, we're trying to convince his mother she doesn't need to drive up here for the civil ceremony. Our state doesn't require witnesses for it so we're trying to avoid the whole 'wedding' feel of the civil ceremony at least.