four months
for the past three or four months, on and off, i have been putting my fucking heart into something that basically doesn't even matter. i've tried everything. nothing is good enough. so i think i am finally removing myself from the situation.
if things weren't so fucked up i'd be ready to admit that the reason i can't tear myself away is because my heart is swelling up and i care so much about that motherfucker. it's exactly what it sounds like.
and if it's true that the best relationships are the hardest and take the most work then this must be one of the best ever. and i'm not even allowed to consider it a relationship.
perhaps you are asking yourself if i am actually even READING what i am TYPING right now because i sound fucking CRAZY for sticking through something for this long for basically no reason. other that i am truly fucking smitten with another human being who often times makes me feel like i am less than nothing.
story of my life.
as an update on other things:
caught up on school work
i miss my parents
i'm trying not to cry right now
tonight i'm getting drunk in a hot tub.
indian lunch buffet club tomorrow and i hope i don't cry over my chana masala
if things weren't so fucked up i'd be ready to admit that the reason i can't tear myself away is because my heart is swelling up and i care so much about that motherfucker. it's exactly what it sounds like.
and if it's true that the best relationships are the hardest and take the most work then this must be one of the best ever. and i'm not even allowed to consider it a relationship.
perhaps you are asking yourself if i am actually even READING what i am TYPING right now because i sound fucking CRAZY for sticking through something for this long for basically no reason. other that i am truly fucking smitten with another human being who often times makes me feel like i am less than nothing.
story of my life.
as an update on other things:
caught up on school work
i miss my parents
i'm trying not to cry right now
tonight i'm getting drunk in a hot tub.
indian lunch buffet club tomorrow and i hope i don't cry over my chana masala