(no subject)
today should have been a good day. i got up and was sick, but i had to go to school because i missed friday, so today i had to make up all my tests. i made a 95 (my lowest grade in there thus far) on my spanish quiz and a 99 on my math test. i don't have any homework except reading. today should have been a good day... but it wasn't.
everytime i see a glimpse of happiness, my mind digs deep to find something that i am anxious or sad about... even some miniscule trace of discomfort. and this time, it's the dentist. i don't mind just going to the dentist for cleanings. my dentist is really nice and everything and i take good care of my teeth. but... last time, they said they would have to take x-rays next time because they have been "watching some places". now, i didn't go to the dentist for about 14 years because we didn't have the insurance. and i had no cavities or anything. now, of course, i have a cavity or worse, i might i need a root canal. they will have to knock me out because there is no way i can deal with having that done. i am such a baby when it comes to my mouth. my only hope to beg them to put me to sleep, though i doubt they'll do it. i keep telling myself to not worry about. most people have to do that at least once in their life, but i just can't calm myself down. i just have this horrible pit in my stomach that won't dissolve and i don't want to get and i just can't get over it. oh, i just want to cry.
so that has ruined my day and my month and the past 6 months. i can't wait until march so i can get this over with.