Shake Vigorously

[nonamer52]

Let the wind blow you away. Let it carry you from me. I will ride in the night and slowly fly. Descend from the ground, from this world and from the likes of all of you. I need my escape allow it me to have it. Screaming and screaming. Allow me to fucking have it. I need you now dear. Things have gone bad you know when the girl who could have spent her entire lifetime alone, would wanted to is afraid to spend one measly day to herself. I fear to find myself alone at home. This is strange and odd, I cannot bear to hurt anymore. Not even a little. What has become of me?! I used to hurt purposely so much in the past. I used to be able to take it all in stride. Something tells me for this exact reason, that I cannot take it I must. I must force it upon me. This is how he broke himself. I must relearn how to breathe. They are going out now. I may be thrown out of your picture. Remember me dear when you need someone and he is not near. I would be content to move away, live a life of namelessness. Of hollowness. Songs of the past make me feel. Things that you have not be able to do in me. Dreams fill and die in me. How will things become when I move on this way. Nothing seems right (but everything is. I am alright and you are alright and we all are. Emotions, feelings, ha. I spit in your face. Tell me something I haven’t heard. I’ve already heard this ramble about emotions. I’ve already seen a crying little girl. Give me something of substance. Give me a piece of your raw flesh.) I should be grateful!!Stop torturing me with this damn thought. I should be fucking grateful. Humans being are sad sad things that are never content. Even when we are gained admission into heavens, we would stand at the pearly gates weeping to ourselves for leaving behind loved ones. Foolish humans. Foolish me. I need an obsession. Yes and this obsession of writing is the only thing I do when alone. And it serves as a perfect tool. Never am I left alone to be what I would. Thank you love for helping me find out my passion. Give me those convenient pills. Do those guitar riffs. Hit those notes. Make me remember days when I was strong. Make me remember days that hardened me. LEAVE ME NOW I never wanted more than now for that to be. But I don’t want to be left alone. Contradicting myself. The first musings of ill deeds that shall be thirsted upon your very soul. My confused mind offers as bait for those around me. Break me you fools. Break me when I am weak and enable to attack back. And I refuse to attack back. I will ramble on and on for that is what this summer brings. A rambling idiot on your feet. Holding on till you kick me off. I know very little about the world around me and my surroundings. The typical amercian. A dirty dirty word. I hold no pride of the term in me. I despise the very concept. I must learn it during the summer. If I do I can look at myself a bit more highly. But why? Why even try to make myself feel better? Make myself think more of myself? I am as I have said another small fraction of this great big mass. The masses are where we all lie. There are no individual I am told. You are the same. Each and every one of you. There is something strongly wrong with that, even though it’s a belief that is rooted within me. I hate it but I agree with it. And since denial is always in the way of things sometimes I don’t agree with it. Meet me in the secret cave, on the coast of the beach. Midnight I want to whisper in your ear. And I want to receive your smile in return. Slowly grazing our way between the tides and the sand making the world but a tiny pebble which we toss back and forth. I don’t need anything else. Expect moments like that. Come to the secret garden with the morning dew and swing me. As high as I please, flying with my giggles. I repeat secret because I don’t want anyone to know. A secret between you and me. It should be known I have been eating scarcely little these past few days(or weeks, don’t know anymore.) But I cannot serve that as an excuse. I have got plans for thrusday. Thank the heavens.
(I disgust myself. Not being able to stand a day alone. and ontop of that not being grateful of the beautiful life she has got. I am grateful, but not enough.)