Dan wrote this in October 2006
Ever since Sarah and I started going out we have made a conscious decision to not fall into the relationship traps that so many other couples have fallen into. We haven’t been perfect but most of the time we’ve listened to reason and tried to just focus on God and not on our relationship.
One specific area where we’ve tried to keep our mouths shut has been marriage/long term commitment. It’s actually refreshing. As easy as it is to give into teenage emotions and talk about “spending the rest of our lives together” or “when we get married…” we’ve actually not done that. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve made it clear to each other that we’re not in this relationship just for fun. That’s the thing, in the back of our minds we both “know” that we’re going to be in this thing together for the long run. But we both feel a sense of apprehension. We both think that if we say “we’re going to get married one day” we’re going to jinx it.
Which I guess brings us to irrational fears. We both have them. We both think that, somehow, if we talk about the future (specifically, being happy in the future) God will knock us off our high horse and make us break up or something. I’m sure the fear is rooted in our respective pasts. We realized yesterday, though, that these fears are not from God. God does not give us a spirit of fear. We prayed against and will have to continue to pray against it.
Irrational fear aside, I think we’re not that far off with giving the old marriage talk the silent treatment. We’ve only been going out for just over three months! I know some people talk and even plan for marriage this early, but not us! We’re still young. We still have a lot of growing and figuring out to do. It really feels like there’s no pressure. That’s probably one of the reasons why we get along so great. I have every intention of keeping it this way. When we both feel that it’s right, we’ll let the inconceivable be conceivable.
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One specific area where we’ve tried to keep our mouths shut has been marriage/long term commitment. It’s actually refreshing. As easy as it is to give into teenage emotions and talk about “spending the rest of our lives together” or “when we get married…” we’ve actually not done that. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve made it clear to each other that we’re not in this relationship just for fun. That’s the thing, in the back of our minds we both “know” that we’re going to be in this thing together for the long run. But we both feel a sense of apprehension. We both think that if we say “we’re going to get married one day” we’re going to jinx it.
Which I guess brings us to irrational fears. We both have them. We both think that, somehow, if we talk about the future (specifically, being happy in the future) God will knock us off our high horse and make us break up or something. I’m sure the fear is rooted in our respective pasts. We realized yesterday, though, that these fears are not from God. God does not give us a spirit of fear. We prayed against and will have to continue to pray against it.
Irrational fear aside, I think we’re not that far off with giving the old marriage talk the silent treatment. We’ve only been going out for just over three months! I know some people talk and even plan for marriage this early, but not us! We’re still young. We still have a lot of growing and figuring out to do. It really feels like there’s no pressure. That’s probably one of the reasons why we get along so great. I have every intention of keeping it this way. When we both feel that it’s right, we’ll let the inconceivable be conceivable.
***