i guess...i wasn't happy
and neither was he because who's happy with someone who's always mad because you're incapable of being a fucking decent person and boyfriend.
how long was i going to sit there and eat shit politely while he did whatever he wanted to...not considering me and acting like i'm a burden.
But i wasn't a burden. He still loves me. He still cares about me. He still wants me in his life...but he can't handle a relationship. I CAN'T HANDLE HIM BEING MEAN TO ME ANYMORE.
The past few days, I've sobbed myself silly and have destroyed the lining in my stomach. I am sad. I'm more than sad I'm devestated. I'm so heartbroken and yet I am so happy that I don't get to be treated like this anymore. It's such a contradiction...I should be wholly angry or sad, not both.
And david even admitted to it being him..."I fucked everything up. I'm an asshole and I can't change. You've been the best g/f I've ever had....yadda yadda yadda." Save it. Spare me. I don't need to hear this crap.
One day real soon he's going to wake up and realize that he made the hugest mistake.
One day real soon I'm going to wake up and realize that I regret everything. That I wish I never met him. That I wish I had stayed in Boston and never come back to this city. That i'm so angry at myself for slipping up after almost a full year of being good to myself. I'm angry. That's what I am...these tears and this pain are anger because I can't honestly say that I loved David in the end...I think I did or still do...I don't know. I'm just so fuckin mad.
This hurts.
I hate this.
how long was i going to sit there and eat shit politely while he did whatever he wanted to...not considering me and acting like i'm a burden.
But i wasn't a burden. He still loves me. He still cares about me. He still wants me in his life...but he can't handle a relationship. I CAN'T HANDLE HIM BEING MEAN TO ME ANYMORE.
The past few days, I've sobbed myself silly and have destroyed the lining in my stomach. I am sad. I'm more than sad I'm devestated. I'm so heartbroken and yet I am so happy that I don't get to be treated like this anymore. It's such a contradiction...I should be wholly angry or sad, not both.
And david even admitted to it being him..."I fucked everything up. I'm an asshole and I can't change. You've been the best g/f I've ever had....yadda yadda yadda." Save it. Spare me. I don't need to hear this crap.
One day real soon he's going to wake up and realize that he made the hugest mistake.
One day real soon I'm going to wake up and realize that I regret everything. That I wish I never met him. That I wish I had stayed in Boston and never come back to this city. That i'm so angry at myself for slipping up after almost a full year of being good to myself. I'm angry. That's what I am...these tears and this pain are anger because I can't honestly say that I loved David in the end...I think I did or still do...I don't know. I'm just so fuckin mad.
This hurts.
I hate this.