*cause i won't stop holding on*
I feel like I don't know how to "be" right now. I feel like pretending that nothing happened will make it worse and talking about it too much will destroy everything. Maybe in my head, and in my heart, I need to gain confidence and strength. Why am I so afraid? I mean, I think I know the answer to that is because the past has not been so sweet. But what if I just gave it my all? I can't imagine being anymore heartbroken then I already am---so why not just throw it all to the wind and forge on to whatever the future has in store.
Last night I went out with the girls (and brian from work) to Vera Cruz and Tuck's. We drank and danced- like we used to in France, only this time I wasn't dead drunk but dead sober and still dancing to "I will survive" (what in the world was my excuse?) I needed to get out. I needed to laugh and have fun. I need to be excited about this job and excited about the finals weeks of school because I'm suppose to be right now. I can't agonize anymore. It's not doing anyone (well, me really) any good.
I'm really not sure why I started writing in this thing again, but I am glad that I have. Taking a break now would seem, unnatural.
Today I'm babysitting. Oh, it's also 6 months with David. 6 whole months. Interesting.
Last night I went out with the girls (and brian from work) to Vera Cruz and Tuck's. We drank and danced- like we used to in France, only this time I wasn't dead drunk but dead sober and still dancing to "I will survive" (what in the world was my excuse?) I needed to get out. I needed to laugh and have fun. I need to be excited about this job and excited about the finals weeks of school because I'm suppose to be right now. I can't agonize anymore. It's not doing anyone (well, me really) any good.
I'm really not sure why I started writing in this thing again, but I am glad that I have. Taking a break now would seem, unnatural.
Today I'm babysitting. Oh, it's also 6 months with David. 6 whole months. Interesting.