Phew
I'm going back to Seattle tomorrow, and then I'll be back in Victoria on Sunday. By all accounts, I should be very happy. It will be my birthday next week, I'm spending it in an absolutely beautiful city I love, with someone I love deeply, eating good food and enjoying myself. I have a place to myself (yay for getting a dormitory!) and I have a meal plan, I will most likely be getting the posting about my job tomorrow, I have all of my classes lined up, all would, it seems, be going well for me.
But I still feel melancholy. I worry now, deep in my heart, that I will be inherently disappointed by UVic in some way or another, and feel like nothing changed, save for the scenery. I want to make a good impression on all of my professors, I want to prove to the world that I have something to contribute, I want to get the kind of grades that dazzle graduate schools. I worry though, that I am coming closer and closer to being disappointed in myself and my life again, because I over-inflated expectations.
I hope this is not the case. Please, let it all turn out well for me.
But I still feel melancholy. I worry now, deep in my heart, that I will be inherently disappointed by UVic in some way or another, and feel like nothing changed, save for the scenery. I want to make a good impression on all of my professors, I want to prove to the world that I have something to contribute, I want to get the kind of grades that dazzle graduate schools. I worry though, that I am coming closer and closer to being disappointed in myself and my life again, because I over-inflated expectations.
I hope this is not the case. Please, let it all turn out well for me.