Post 1 of July 3rd, 2024
I'm posting this from my phone (forgot my username again, had to go searching though lj groups again to find it). I did remember that the 3rd happens at midnight a day earlier than I would expect! Wow!
Planning on going to sleep now so I'll just mention one major update, which is that I'm getting the FUCK out of this house. Can't recall how much I've talked about ol' mom getting a little desperate, stupid, and exploitative since March last year... It's a whole saga. Dunno if buying the house from her is still on the table down the road but ain't no way I can afford a loan even at the drastically reduced rate she asked for.
Gonna move in with H in less than two months at a new place, gotta tour apartments next week so I'm taking time off work. Gonna cram six hours into one day, wonder if that will be fine.
Ok fine one more update - I'm settling on vilazodone for a while. I've been trialing for over two years and I had this one, then a different one recently, and it sucked so I'm GOING THE FUCK BACK. It's hard, what with the feelings of disconnectedness that seem to plague me, to tell if the drugs are really helping. The only pieces of the puzzle I have access to are things like how frequently I laugh at random things I watch or read rather than observe silently, how much I'm playing games rather than do nothing at the end of a day, how chatty I tend to be... Although caffeine seems to play a role here as well, but importantly in conjunction with the drug. I have found a couple times with downtime between drugs that going back to my default state can be miserable. So, while my main goal with this experience was to try to reduce the disconnected feelings, the reduction in depression is noticeable and I probably need it to be more functional. So there's that!
Anyway. A good day to you, sir. Good day. Ah yes good day to you. Thank you and good day.
Uhhhh I can't figure out how to add emotion tags on mobile so pretend the normal thing is below here vvv
Mood: Posting °_°
Planning on going to sleep now so I'll just mention one major update, which is that I'm getting the FUCK out of this house. Can't recall how much I've talked about ol' mom getting a little desperate, stupid, and exploitative since March last year... It's a whole saga. Dunno if buying the house from her is still on the table down the road but ain't no way I can afford a loan even at the drastically reduced rate she asked for.
Gonna move in with H in less than two months at a new place, gotta tour apartments next week so I'm taking time off work. Gonna cram six hours into one day, wonder if that will be fine.
Ok fine one more update - I'm settling on vilazodone for a while. I've been trialing for over two years and I had this one, then a different one recently, and it sucked so I'm GOING THE FUCK BACK. It's hard, what with the feelings of disconnectedness that seem to plague me, to tell if the drugs are really helping. The only pieces of the puzzle I have access to are things like how frequently I laugh at random things I watch or read rather than observe silently, how much I'm playing games rather than do nothing at the end of a day, how chatty I tend to be... Although caffeine seems to play a role here as well, but importantly in conjunction with the drug. I have found a couple times with downtime between drugs that going back to my default state can be miserable. So, while my main goal with this experience was to try to reduce the disconnected feelings, the reduction in depression is noticeable and I probably need it to be more functional. So there's that!
Anyway. A good day to you, sir. Good day. Ah yes good day to you. Thank you and good day.
Uhhhh I can't figure out how to add emotion tags on mobile so pretend the normal thing is below here vvv
Mood: Posting °_°