Cost of a Secret
The next week progressed without much to comment on. The soreness from the tattooing had faded over the first 24 hours, and he was back at work, apparently the only member of his team not affected by some flu. Everyone over the last few days had been calling in sick for a day or two, then coming back in telling him he should be grateful he hadn’t caught the stomach bug they had suffered over the last day. He wondered if the tattoo process had strengthened rather than weakened his immune system because everyone seemed to be catching it but him and Ed.
Riza was out today, but Havoc was back, looking positively chipper.
“Did you see Melissa’s nursing staff? I mean, I know the good doctor is spoken for, but… if I have to get sick again, I’m going to her. I wonder if being a lesbian makes for picking hotter nurses? Because there was this one, she asked about you, apparently you dated then dumped her-which makes you an idiot because she was hot.”
“Does this rant have any point?” Roy asked, tiredly. “Or are you just trying to re-instate your masculinity and convince me once and for all that you are not nor have you ever been interested in other men in a sexual sense?”
Havoc didn’t look affronted by Roy’s line of questioning. Instead, he just smirked and placed a substantial stack of papers on his desk. “You know, you deserve a lot more than listening to me for actually thinking that I was interested in Ed that way.”
“He is an attractive young man,” Roy said.
“Yeah, maybe,” Havoc said. “If you swing that way. Which I don’t. Though… I do wonder. You dated Riza and Melissa, and now they’re dating one another. I wonder if dating you will make Ed swing the other way.”
Roy let out a groan. “I have dated other women, even men that are still very much interested in men.”
“Well, good for them,” Havoc said. “But it would have explained why I had so much trouble with the women you dated. Women you knew I was trying to date because you were always stealing them from me.” The man looked at Roy. “Really, I am curious how you can be in the military this long and not figure out that I am straight.”
“I’m sorry,” Roy apologized for the twentieth time that week. Havoc had been harassing him since Ed had told Roy the truth. “Are you certain you can’t catch that flu bug again and leave me alone? Or perhaps I can catch it and get away from you.”
“If you haven’t caught it now, no such luck,” he said. “You must just be immune to it. Lucky bastard.”
Ed looked over at Al as they sat in Melissa’s waiting room. “Are you okay?” Ed asked his brother. Things had gotten increasingly awkward between them over the last few days, and it happened just as Ed thought things might be getting better.
“I’m fine,” Al said as he leaned back and slumped down in his chair with a faint sigh. “I just realized you were right, and apparently, I have a tiny bit more pride than I thought.”
“Right? About what?” Ed asked as he turned to look at the younger sibling. “About alchemical theory? About you and Winry being perfect for one another? About that toast at breakfast being much too burnt?” He smiled at Al.
“None of those actually,” Al said. “But while we’re at it: We’ll see, Yes, but I knew that already, and yes.”
“Then what?” Ed asked, though he had a suspicion. This wasn’t going to be easy for his brother to admit, if Ed was also right about what he thought the topic was.
“I couldn’t do it,” Al said. “I couldn’t be a state alchemist, even if it wasn’t for having another job, or Winry, or any of that. What you’ve done over the last few days… I could never do it.” Al let out a huff. “You know I can’t do it. I’ve proven that.”
“So what?” Ed asked. “I prefer that you can’t. It isn’t easy having to do something that hurts another person, and if I’m the type of person who can do it, I’d rather have a brother who is the type of person who can’t.”
Al smiled and looked prepared to argue in his brother’s defense, but a nurse called him to the back.
“Go on. Make sure I haven’t done anything too destructive to you,” Ed told him. He gave his brother a light shove and waited for his own turn to see the good doctor.
When the bell at the door rang, bringing two figures with the sound, Ed regretted putting Al’s name down first on the sign-in sheet. The smaller of the two immediately broke out into a run, launching himself at Ed and giving him the hug he’d promised a week ago.
With a smile, despite who was with the boy, Ed returned the embrace. It was unbelievably easy to like this kid, love him even.
“Hey, Liam,” Ed said. “How are you feeling?”
“Great,” the boy answered, and he looked it. His eyes were bright and alive now that he wasn’t marked for some sick experiment his mother was going to perform on him. This was how a kid was supposed to look, not like a miniaturized version of his father who had seen far too much in his life. “Elysia and me are going to the park after the doctor’s check-up.”
“Elysia and I,” Roy and Ed corrected in unison. It was followed by an awkward laugh from them both.
“Elysia and I are going to the park,” Liam repeated. “Are you here for a check-up, Ed?”
Ed gave a short nod. “Melissa wants to see all of us.”
Liam nodded. “Where’s Al?” he asked.
“He’s already back with the doctor,” Ed told him.
“Dad,” Liam said. “They’ve got a race track. Can I play with it while we wait?”
Roy gave a single nod. “Go on. You’re fine here.” Liam checked the door once and then went over to the small race track on a table in the far corner of the room.
“He looks much better,” Ed said.
“Thanks to you,” Roy said. He looked at Liam, racing a car along the wooden track. “Why did you help him? At least, why did you put yourself through so much?”
“Because it wasn’t fair to the kid,” Ed said, not wanting to admit he had done so much partly because of who Liam belonged to. “Why didn’t you ever tell me about him?”
Roy looked at him in slight surprise.
“What? You’re allowed to ask a loaded question and I’m not?”
“This isn’t really the place,” Roy said, looking like a cornered animal at the moment.
“We’re alone, you, me and the kid. The nurses are at their station with the secretary, behind glass. Why didn’t you tell me about him?” Ed kept his tone even and low, partly so he wouldn’t be heard and partly because he wanted this answer too badly to let Roy get scared out of giving it.
“When you were a kid, you weren’t responsible enough to know,” Roy said.
“I’ll give you that, but why not later?”
“That’s a second question,” Roy said.
“No, it’s asking for you to give the actual answer to the first.” Ed knew that was a bit hypocritical to ask of Roy, since he hadn’t given the full answer to the older man’s question.
“Later, we were friends, and none of my team were actually told by me. I didn’t know how to broach the subject, honestly. I never had to before.”
“And when we were dating?”
Roy was silent for a while. “When we were dating, I knew it was already too late to tell you. Because by then, I should have already and I hadn’t.”
“You know, Melissa has a theory about you,” Ed began, hoping this didn’t get the doctor into trouble with her ex-boyfriend. “She thinks that whenever something good happens to you, you wait for something to ruin it. Some kind of bad karma.”
“It’s proven right thus far,” Roy said.
“I think it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy,” Ed answered. “But that could just be me.”
“Edward Elric,” a nurse asked as she stuck her head out of the door to the exam rooms.
Ed stood, but he caught the woman’s eyes darting over to Roy, an unreadable expression on her face. He thought this one must be the nurse who’d dated Roy that Havoc had been talking about at the apartment after his check-up.
Pondering Ed’s words, Roy looked over at his son, playing with his cars. Despite everything Liam had been through, he was able to have an optimism that Roy felt had simply died in himself.
At least, he’d always thought so, but now, a tiny voice was telling him that he could have Ed if he wanted him. If he put the effort to bringing him back. If he put the effort into the relationship he always should have been in the first place. Everything Ed was doing now to help Liam, to help Roy, that proved something, didn’t it?
And Roy had trusted Ed in ways he hadn’t really with anyone before him, and in more ways than one.
Ed lightly kissed over Roy’s body, giving special attention to the scars at the shoulder, just as he did with those at his eye. He moved down to the others, the ones from fire alchemy that managed to stand out on the already pale skin. “You’re awfully accident prone,” Ed said. “And people talk about me with my automail.” Gold eyes glittered as the young man looked up at him. There was no judgment, no disgust.
Roy said nothing, merely ran his hand over the younger man’s shoulder, over the metal and the scars that littered the golden skin.
“So…” Ed asked as he moved his hand down, fingers toying with the trail of black hair that ran from Roy’s bellybutton to places lower. “At exactly what point did you realize you enjoyed being on your back with someone else between your thighs?” Roy raised an eyebrow. “Or rather…” Ed’s automail fingers played with the older man’s right nipple, making him arch off the bed. They were sensitive enough as it was without the metal fingertips toying with them. “When did you realize you liked being a bottom? Who was it that showed you how good it can feel?” Ed’s flesh fingers barely touched Roy’s member or his balls before moving back to toy with the opening beyond them.
“I did,” Roy said.
“You mean you played with yourself?” the blond let out a quiet moan. “But who was the first?” When Roy didn’t answer, Ed’s fingers became more persistent. “Come on, I’ve told you about my experiences. Who was the first person to top you?”
Damn Fullmetal for wanting to have this conversation now, now that either hand was toying with him, but not doing enough to give him relief of any kind. “You…” Roy said quietly, but it was enough to make the blond stop and look at him.
“Seriously?”
“No, I’m kidding,” Roy said with a roll of his eyes.
“Shit,” Ed said, leaning down and kissing Roy fully on the mouth. “That’s hotter than picturing you playing with yourself.”
“Happy that I can be of service, now either get on with it, or I will go back to doing things solo,” Roy snapped.
“Oh no, you won’t.” A flesh finger slowly pressed inside of him, just the tip, and Roy knew he wasn’t going to last for long.
“Major General?” the nurse, the same one who had called Ed back, said.
“Dad?” Liam said, tapping Roy on the knee. “You okay? You looked like you were daydreaming.”
“I was, a bit,” Roy said, and it had undesired results. The former fuhrer, basic alchemical theory, his grandmother, his mind repeated until he felt his body calm down. “Sorry. Okay, Liam, let’s get you back there.”
The nurse looked at Roy expectantly as she led them to the second exam room.
“Up on the bed, little guy,” the nurse said, patting the vinyl-covered padding of the table/bed. Liam easily climbed up, though it was obvious to Roy that his son hadn’t appreciated being called a little guy.
“Let’s check a few things first,” the nurse said. Roy knew Havoc said he’d dated the woman, but he couldn’t place her. That was a rather sad statement of the man’s dating life before he’d ended up with Ed.
Blood pressure, temperature, pulse, all were fine. “Okay, just a quick check. Your chart says you haven’t had chicken pox, and there’s been a bit of an outbreak in the schools with it.” She lifted Liam’s shirt, his bare back looking wonderful to Roy, even as his own now bore the marks of a transmutation circle. “All clear.” She smiled at Liam, then looked back at Roy.
“You don’t remember me,” she said, voice holding a slight bit of disappointment.
“I’m sorry,” Roy said. “Have you changed your hair or… lost a little weight? Because I usually remember a face, and I just can’t place you. I’m sorry.”
“Paula Harrison,” the woman said, showing her nametag. “We dated a few times a little over a year ago.” She smiled.
“Oh,” Roy said, not knowing quite what to say. “Well, you’re definitely doing well for yourself now. It’s very nice seeing you.”
“Nice seeing you, too, Roy,” she said. She patted Liam’s back. “The doctor will be here in just a few moments.”
Roy nodded and waited.
“Well, you look fine,” Melissa said. “How are you holding up?”
“Doing okay, in spite of everything,” Ed told her as he put his shirt back on. “So I have a clean bill of health?”
“Absolutely,” the doctor told him. “Very healthy as always.” She stilled for a moment. “Sorry. Kiefer rolled.”
“Kiefer?” Ed asked.
“Riza and I liked the name,” she said. “And we figured since we know the baby is definitely a he, we might as well start calling him by name.” She looked down at her stomach sternly. “He’s being a bit active today. I think he’s going to grow up to be a boxer.” Ed shared a smile with the woman. “Do you want to feel? Everyone always seems to.”
“If you don’t mind,” he said as he raised his hand and pressed it to her belly. He didn’t remember doing this with his mother when she was pregnant with Al, though she’d always sworn he had been amused by the growing belly.
Beneath his left hand, he could feel the baby moving and shifting, and he couldn’t help but smile. It was a strange but amazing feeling.
“Melissa, maybe you have a different perspective than I do,” Ed said as he pulled his hand away. “How could Liam’s mother do this to him? My mom wouldn’t have done anything to intentionally hurt Al or me, so how could she?”
“I don’t know,” Melissa said. “From what I’ve heard about her through Roy and Riza, she is a very ambitious woman, and never really wanted Liam, though she had to care for him. Regardless, I can’t imagine why she would hurt her own son, even if it was to hurt Roy through him. Sadly, though, there are plenty of parents out there like her, who resent their children, who insult them, beat them, molest them and kill them.”
“They could take a page from my father and just leave. The kids would be better off,” Ed said as he put his uniform coat on.
“Sometimes,” Melissa said. “It’s one of the more unfortunate things about the world and my job.”
Ed gave her a sad smile. “Guess you’d better see to the Mustangs now.”
She nodded as she made her way to the door, her walking taking more of a waddling stride as the baby grew. “You know, Liam likes you. I think if Roy gets his head out of his ass, you could be very good for both of them. If you’re willing to give them a chance.”
“We’ll see,” was all Ed would say to that.
With a clean bill of health, Liam was flourishing. His teachers could not stop commenting on the boy’s progress, how bright he was, how they were looking to advance him a year-which Liam was actually quite happy about, wanting to be in the same grade with Elysia-and how happy he seemed to be at school. The proud grin on the major general’s face looked like it might split him in half each time he spoke to one of the boy’s teachers. Things were going well, and fatherhood was really beginning to suit him.
A week had passed since they had encountered one another in the doctor’s office, and now, Ed was sitting on the sofa in Roy’s office, ready to give his report.
“Well, do you have any complaints about the decisions I’ve made?” Ed asked as he looked at the stack of papers sitting in front of Roy that the older man had just barely glanced over.
“I usually don’t,” Roy said. “I just like to hassle you to keep you on your toes.
“You’re a bastard,” Ed said.
“That I am.” That earned the superior officer a look of surprise. “I’m capable of admitting that much.” He skimmed over the forms one more time, but only so he wouldn’t have to look at Ed as he spoke. “Liam has been asking about you. I wondered if you would be interested in maybe dinner sometime?”
His mind chided him for such a lame tactic, using his child as a way to get Ed on a date of sorts.
“I’ll have to see what’s going on,” Ed said. “The state alchemy exam is coming up in a few weeks.”
“Then you’ll need a good meal more than ever,” Roy said, still not looking up to meet Ed’s eyes. “You work yourself so hard during the-” Roy’s telephone rang, interrupting his train of thought. “Sorry, I should get this.”
Ed inclined his head, though Roy caught the faintest look of disappointment in the younger man’s eyes. “But really, think about dinner.” And please say yes, Roy’s mind supplied because he knew his heart was pounding in his chest anticipating rejection.
“Mustang speaking,” he said as he answered the phone.
“Major General,” a voice said on the other end, sounding worried, alarmed. “Someone has taken Liam from school when the children were out on the playground. We didn’t see who it was, but one of the other boys said it was a woman and that Liam looked scared of her.”
“Did the boy say what she looked like?”
“Brown hair was all he could remember,” the teacher said. “I’m so sor-”
He hung up the phone. “Incompetent… damned, fucking….” He couldn’t come up with a phrase to describe his anger at the moment, or one to properly express the feeling that something was eating him away from the inside out.
“Roy?”
“Liam’s gone. Karen’s taken him.”