Cost of a Secret Ch. 13
Roy was beginning to grow accustomed to Alphonse’s presence at headquarters, though he couldn’t help but suspect Al was there for more than his brother. Roy really hated thinking that of the young man who had never seemed to have an ulterior motive in the past. The sad thing was that Roy remembered the clash from years before. He remembered the way the brothers had fought. He remembered the betrayed look on Al’s face when he’d heard that Ed didn’t support Al becoming a state alchemist.
Though Roy had come to accept the fact of Al’s presence there, he was not accustomed to seeing him talking to one of the military’s most over-achieving generals. Brigadier General Noolan had been vying for Ed’s position for the last two years, and Roy knew that any conversations between those two would not mean anything good for the elder Elric. Roy stepped just a bit closer, enough to hear their conversation.
“I’d like to talk to you,” Noolan said to Al. “In private.”
Roy cleared his throat, getting the attention of both men. “Brigadier General. Alphonse.” He nodded his head to each of them. He hoped his presence would stop this little chat, so he could pull Al to the side later. Instead, the other man seemed pleased by his presence.
“Major general,” he said. “Perhaps you could join us.” The smile the silver-haired man gave was positively slimy.
“Come to my office,” Roy said. He felt more comfortable talking about whatever this was going to be in his own territory.
That seemed to throw the brigadier off of his game, and Roy fought the smirk at that. He ushered the two men into the office, ignoring the strange looks he was getting from his team. Havoc, in particular, was sending him a glare that seemed to say he suspected Roy was somehow betraying Ed. The look Roy shot back at him was no less intense than the blond’s. Things between him and the other man had grown tense over the last few days, and they didn’t seem to be getting better anytime soon.
Roy waited for Al and the brigadier general to come in before shutting the door behind him. Much to Roy’s irritation, he noticed Noolan had the gall to sit at his desk. “The reason I was hoping to talk to you both,” Noolan said, “is because I believe I have found discrepancies in your application to become a state alchemist.”
Looking down at the man and clearing his throat, he made a small move of his head to tell the older man to get the hell out of his seat. The man had enough military decorum to at least know he’d made a mistake even if he didn’t have enough of it not to do it in the first place. With a brief apology, Noolan stood and gave Roy back his seat.
“What kind of discrepancy?” Roy asked, eyes narrowing.
“Well, looking at previous test records, Alphonse is the only person to take the state alchemist test and complete the test, not to mention pass it, two times. However, I feel there was a line of questioning that came from his brother that was uncalled for, and the comments made by the Lieutenant Colonel seem incorrect given the depth of the knowledge that Alphonse has.”
Roy sat at his desk, elbows resting on top with his arms making an upward V with his fingers interlocked at the top. He tried to emit an air of calm though he was silently seething that this man kept referring to Al by his first name. “And…?”
“And I feel that keeping Alphonse from becoming a state alchemist would be a crime.”
The look on Al’s face was unreadable, but the smallest glint of joy at those words seemed to speak volumes, either for the reinforcement that Noolan’s words gave at Al’s own abilities or at the hope that he could one day become a state alchemist.
“I suspect when the Lieutenant Colonel said his brother did not have the level of competency necessary not because he believed that, but perhaps out of jealousy. It is my understanding that the Fullmetal Alchemist did not complete the written exam and that his percentage was not as high as his younger brother’s during that initial test.”
“It was by a matter of a quarter of a percentage point,” Roy said, remembering well his surprise at that. “I also think that if Fullmetal were given that same written exam, not the one that he has drafted recently, you would find he would get nearly every answer correct.” After all, Ed had tapped into the ultimate knowledge given to him by the gate in the process of taking that written exam.
“Perhaps, but you cannot honestly tell me that you feel that Alphonse deserves to be kept from achieving his state alchemy license.”
Al had remained silent, but his large brown eyes were now attentively watching Roy.
“I understand that you supported him at the time, but I thought that perhaps now…” Noolan let that statement hang. It was obvious enough what he meant without actually saying it. He thought that now that Roy and Ed had broken up, that they weren’t even friendly at this point, perhaps he would like to see Ed crash and burn.
“Regardless of what the Lieutenant Colonel’s motives were at the time,” Roy said, “and I do not think they were jealousy, I support his decision to keep Alphonse from entering the state alchemists.” He watched as the young man’s hands that had been hanging limply at his sides began to tense, hands tightening.
“Alphonse has a great deal of practical knowledge, even the ability to use that knowledge, but it is not his alchemy skills that are my concern.” He met Al’s eyes with a cool expression. This was the truth, and it was something he and Ed had both agreed upon in the early days. “Alphonse Elric is not military material. I think he could make a fine civilian researcher, which we have begun using since the Lieutenant Colonel took over the position that I decided he had earned and was more than qualified for.
“I honestly hope that you are not continuing to pursue this, Alphonse, and that this is the Brigadier General’s idea alone. If you are still trying to pursue your state alchemist’s certification, you are wasting your time. I do not believe that you have a place in the military. While I might trust you to support me in a fight, I do not trust you to provide cover for me in a war.” The words were harsh, and Roy actually saw Al wince, but it was about time someone told him the truth. He only regretted that they had to be said in the presence of this weasel of a man-one of far too many in the military like him.
“Brigadier General, regardless of where things stand between Edward and I personally, I trust his judgment professionally. I recommend you leave. I want to speak to Alphonse in private.”
“Sir, I question your decision in this,” Noolan said, with the “Sir” uttered in a way it sounded painful for the man to even form the word.
“But it is my decision, and you will find that others will support me and the Lieutenant Colonel in it.” Roy then simply pointed to the door and waited for Noolan to leave. Roy had a feeling that Noolan wouldn’t leave this alone, but Roy had rank and the title of hero in his favor. If he had to, he would go in person to visit each general to explain the sort of underhanded moves that Noolan was attempting. He would do it in person, because the eye patch did get him sympathy if it got him nothing else.
He watched the older man leave the room and shut the door behind him. Al still said nothing, and that showed far more restraint than his brother ever had, but it also disturbed and frightened Roy in a way that Ed’s anger never had.
“I allowed your brother to enter the military at the age of twelve,” he said slowly. “It is something I doubt I will ever stop regretting. I watched as every bit of youthful innocence and faith in humankind was wiped away from your brother’s eyes. I watched as, slowly, he became a fighter and then a killer. On the battlefield, your brother is fearless and he is cold and calculating in a way I do not believe you could ever be.”
“The military would have trained me to be-” Al finally interjected.
“Yes, the military would have trained you to be like your brother, and for all the feelings that I have for him,” Roy said, not even stumbling over the admission that he did still care for Ed, “I would trade anything to have kept him from becoming what he is now. I cannot undo what I have done, and I have regretted that from the day I saw his face after Nina was killed. I wanted to keep his watch after he handed it back to me, but he was too driven. There was a higher goal, and the sacrifice he paid was becoming a true member of the military.
“You have no higher goal, no brother to save, no limbs to return. You have no great quest that only the military can help you achieve, and there are job options available to you that didn’t exist three years ago. Those are all thanks to your brother and what he has done with government-funded research. There is no reason for you to pursue becoming a state alchemist and either become a killer or crack when you finally have to take the life of another. Not now. Not even then.
“If you decide to continue to pursue this matter with Brigadier General Noolan and let this man drag your brother through the mud by trying to say he was doing anything other than protecting you and those who might have to fight alongside you, I will ensure that you are banned from entering Central Headquarters until you come to your senses.” Roy didn’t even realize he had stood so that he could at least come close to meeting Al in the eye-how could he be so tall with Ed for a brother?-until he finished his speech to the young man. His hands were now gripping his desk, and he looked very close to leaning over it.
“You think my brother was protecting me? By making me think I was a miserable failure of an alchemist?” Al asked. That contained fury was growing to irritate Roy. “Those questions he asked at my oral test. He practically outted us both for what we did.”
Roy nodded. Ed had asked some harsh questions of all the men that year and every year since. It only seemed worse for Al, knowing their background. “He didn’t ask you anything different than he did of anyone else,” Roy said. “You were the one who stumbled over the answers and looked incredibly unprepared for them.”
It took Al a moment to recover from that, and for once, Roy was glad. Let Al take this out on him. “And my record,” Al said. “He refused to give me any recommendation.”
“And you are surprised by that?” Roy asked. “To let you become a state alchemist would have been to let you become a weapon, to kill or be killed. Do you think he’d sign off on that so easily?”
He shook his head. “You need to talk to him, Alphonse. This needs aired out between the two of you. And soon. Look at you,” he said, pointing to the young man’s still-closed hands. “You are so furious at me, at the situation, and probably at your brother, your knuckles are white and your arms are shaking.”
“You’re one to talk,” Al snapped.
“Whichever cliché you prefer, pick one. ‘Learn from my mistakes.’ ‘Do as I say, not as I do,’” Roy said with a shrug. “Whatever it is, Ed needs you. Far more than he ever thought he needed me. This thing between the two of you, all over a job you really are not qualified for, has to stop.”
“I could be a great state alchemist!” Al finally yelled after Roy’s endless barrage of seemed insults at him. It was strange to hear Al raise his voice, let alone do it with so much anger behind it. Three years worth of pent-up anger.
“You are not a killer and I will not be responsible for another Elric becoming one. And you would have to kill, Alphonse. Maybe from afar, maybe at point blank. Maybe one, maybe dozens at a time. Take a good look at this face, at your brother’s face. Look at my team and Lieutenant Colonel Armstrong. Ask yourself if you want to see that looking back at the mirror at you.”
Al turned on his heel and left. Roy couldn’t say for certain that he’d made an impression on the young man, but he certainly hoped so.
When Second Lieutenant Fuery came into Ed’s office, he acknowledged him with a small smile. Two weeks now, two weeks since he’d left Roy’s house and decided to have nothing more than a professional relationship with the man. Ed had finally come to some sort of acceptance. He didn’t understand nor accept what Roy had done, but rather, he accepted that what they’d had was over and done with.
“The reports from Central library,” Fuery said. “Also, reports from Majors Brocklehurst, Champlain, and Wolford.”
Ed nodded. “Thank you, Lieutenant,” he said.
“Shezka wondered when you might want to come over again for dinner,” Fuery said. “She enjoyed having you there.” He chuckled. “I think she liked having someone there who enjoyed books as much as she does.”
“Just certain types of books,” Ed said.
“Yeah, but different types from the detective and scary stories I read,” the bespectacled man replied. “I swear her appetite for knowledge is unstoppable. I just keep waiting for her brain to suddenly fill up and decide it can’t take any more.”
Ed chuckled and nodded his head. “I’ll see what is going on with Al and Havoc. I’m sure they both could use a break from me.”
Fuery chuckled and headed for the door to Ed’s office.
“Kain?” he asked, the name sounding far funnier than using the man’s last name. With a surprised look, the dark-haired man turned and faced him again. “Thank you.”
“Thank Shezka. It is her idea,” Fuery said with a smile. Ed knew it was otherwise. The whole team had taken their turns being around him, spending time with Ed. He was appreciative for every one of them. He smiled at Fuery as the man left and began looking over the library’s report. Ed was watchful of the books that got checked out of the library. It gave him a better idea of what his researchers were planning to work on and even suggest other titles that could be of use. It also helped him guide the ones away from the areas of alchemy that could prove dangerous.
Nothing was out of the ordinary for the first few pages. Ed was actually quite pleased to see the library was getting this amount of use, as the monthly record was once only half this thick.
However, when he saw that Shou Tucker’s research had been checked out by Major General Mustang, Ed saw red. What the hell was that man doing with Tucker’s research? If it was anything short of burning it, he would kill the man.
Without thought, Ed grabbed the stack of papers in one hand and stormed from his office. He was going to kill the bastard. And he was going to enjoy it.
No one dared to cross him as he made his way down the hallway. They had seen his usually temper before, but even those he knew seemed genuinely frightened.
Without pause as he passed by Hawkeye’s desk and the office where Breda and Havoc worked, Ed made it to the all-too-familiar wooden doors, which he roughly threw open.
“What the hell were you doing with Shou Tucker’s notes?” Ed asked as he slammed the door behind him.
Roy looked up at him, startled at first, then visibly going on the defensive. “That isn’t any of your business.”
Ed was over to the desk in no time, slamming the report down on it as he grabbed Roy’s shoulder to make him look at it. “I get all records of the research done at the library. To my surprise, I see your name there. Checking out Shou Tucker’s notes and research.” He pointed to the item on the sheet to draw the man’s attention to it before grabbing him roughly by the shoulder, twisting him in the leather chair, to look at him. “Answer me! What the hell are you doing with his work?”
“Get your hands off of me,” Roy said, looking as though he was losing grasp on his sense of calm.
“Were you going to combine your son and his pet like Shou did to Nina, asshole? Or did you have other-” At that, Ed found himself slammed against the wall with a force he didn’t know the older man had.
“Don’t you ever, ever talk about my son like that!” Roy said, holding Ed there, his dark eye piercing as he looked down at the young man.
“Tucker looked like the perfect parent on the outside. You never even saw your son more than a few times a year. Why would you be more attached than Tucker was?”
Ed found himself being struck in the face, hard. His words had been a low blow, and he knew it, but he had to find out what the hell the man was doing with notes on creating a human chimera.
“I love my son,” Roy said.
“Then tell me why the hell you are messing around with the stuff that son of a bitch used!”
“This is my business why I need it,” Roy said, his voice dark and low as he spoke. “Leave it alone!”
Ed was too good of a fighter to stay cornered like this, and he quickly turned the tables on the older man and had him pressed against the wall. Slammed, more like, from the sound of Roy’s head smacking off the wood paneling. “After Nina Tucker, I swore I would never see that happen again!”
“Then where the hell were you when those same documents were taken out of the Eastern Library?” Roy asked, shoving Ed back. “Don’t get self-righteous with me because you have made this some kind of goal of yours. If that were true, you’d have gotten rid of them from every library or be checking each of the state alchemy libraries in Amestris. But you missed one, Ed.”
Ed scowled at Roy. “What do you mean? Eastern Library? I get their stuff all the time. Have been for a year. No one’s checked out any of Tucker’s notes. No one but you, you bastard.”
“Then they’re already out,” Roy said. The fight seemed to leave him in one fell swoop. “More than a year with those books.” He ran a hand through his dark hair and said the word Ed couldn’t remember hearing him ever say. “Fuck!”
“Who has Tucker’s shit?” Ed asked sharply, shoving Roy to get a reaction when no answer came immediately. “Who has it?”
Roy walked over to his desk and pulled out a stack of notes, most written by him, but on top was a design Ed never wanted to see. It was backwards, but he still managed to recognize the symbol.
“Who drew this?” Ed asked. This wasn’t the common design. This was one that was used to create perfect chimeras. The ones that had been used on Martel and the others who had followed Greed. These had to be alchemically tattooed on someone’s body, a painful process in itself, before being used to transmute the person and the animal together. “It’s nearly complete. Who drew it?”
If Roy was getting involved in this kind of thing… Ed touched the drawing, his left hand tracing over a bold letter. It was waxy, like black crayon.
“Who did this, Roy?” Ed looked again at the unsteady hand that had drawn the design. A child’s hand. “Liam?”
Roy nodded.
“Fuck,” Ed said, repeating Roy’s earlier sentiment. “His mom?” Again a nod, and again Ed repeated Roy’s word choice. “We need supplies then. I’ll stop by the library. I think I can find a couple of the books I need. I’ll stop by your house tonight. After he’s gone to bed. What time is that?”
“Nine,” Roy said, looking bewildered.
“Nine-thirty, then,” Ed said. “I’ll be over then. I’ll bring what I can from the library. You gather whatever you have. And check Ed the cat too. Just in case.”
“Why… What are you…”
“I’m helping your kid, Idiot,” Ed said. “Get your shit together. The library will only be open a little longer. I’ve got to go.” He headed from the room, leaving the report on Roy’s desk.
Ed was going to help him. Roy hadn’t asked; he hadn’t expected it could be a possibility. But Ed was going to help. Even as his body felt lighter at that fact, Roy’s gut wanted to eat itself out in guilt.