For her. For him. Chapter 2
Disclaimer: Don't own, down't profit. Also, this is yaoi, so if you don't like that, don't read on.
Title: For Her. For Him.
Chapter: 2 Please Let Me Do This
Rating: PG-13 for now, eventual NC-17.
Pairing: Eventual Roy/Ed.
Summary:Riza Hawkeye is killed and Ed takes on new responsibilities for her memory and the life of his commanding officer.
Chapter 2
Please Let Me Do This
Three days passed after Riza’s death with Fullmetal drifting in and out of consciousness, according to Doctor Knox, whom Mustang had made especially certain was the only doctor to treat the teen, at least until more could be determined on what exactly he had done to Riza. Roy had made the obligatory visits to the hospital, but not even Al was allowed in with his brother, largely because there was still some doubt as to what had killed her, as those who didn't understand alchemy were suspicious of the number of alchemic symbols on her body, and even those who did understand the science were at a loss for the one that had been carefully drawn on her stomach. There was also concern that in the process of trying to perform alchemy on her, he might have done something to himself, as his state of consciousness did not seem to be warranted by the lack of any real damage done to his body.
A required autopsy held off Riza’s burial by several days, drawing out Roy’s anguish. He needed closure. He needed to see that she received proper burial before determining if he, himself, wanted to live. Everything he’d ever had to live for was gone. His best and oldest friend. His love. His child. Even his ambition to become fuhrer, since it had cost him the three much more important reasons to go on.
“Colonel Mustang,” the medical examiner said, stepping out of her office to bring the colonel inside. Roy joined the middle-aged woman into the room, though forcing each step felt as though he was moving through molasses. “Colonel, we have investigated the body and see nothing unusual. I will say, only because you were her commanding officer and I’m sure nothing else…” This, of course, meant that the doctor suspected the opposite. “Riza Hawkeye seemed to have been recently pregnant, but there was no baby. There was not even a sign that a baby had been removed. It is quite possible it was a false pregnancy...”
Or that Fullmetal did something to change it, he finished, mentally, her unspoken words. Roy stormed out of the medical examiner's office, which was held near the morgue in the basement of the military hospital. As he charged through the building, no one dared to stand in the Flame Alchemist’s way, even non-military family members knew either by reputation or the anger on his face that it was best simply to move. He cornered a terrified nurse to confirm Fullmetal was still where Roy had left him, in the most hidden part of the hospital, where only alchemic cases were treated.
Roy had no problem finding the place. Even before Fullmetal, the colonel had become accustomed to the secret area of the hospital more than he liked to admit.
No longer did he feel as though moving through a thick liquid; his adreneline was pumping and his anger, his desire to strangle the very life from his subordinate was winning out. He reached the guarded metal doors, nonverbally daring the two soldiers on guard to stop him. He pushed open the doors, finding Al sitting, armor hunched in front of a second set. These were also protected, but these two soldiers seemed more willing to stand up to the man in front of them.
“Colonel,” Al said, rising to his metallic feet, “you can’t go in there. They won’t even let me in to visit Brother.”
"There are several oxygen tanks in this room. I am quite certain no one would want to see me start an open flame at the moment.” Roy held his gloved hand upwards, fingers prepared to snap. The two guards stepped aside, deferring to his superior title and incensed attitude. Roy burst through the doors, Al on his heels, following.
“What did you do to my child?” Roy demanded upon finding Dr. Knox standing over Fullmetal, who held his arms over his eyes, hands tightly clasped at his elbows. “Where is my baby?”
“Right here.” Dr. Knox said. It was then that Roy finally noticed that the doctor was moving an ultrasound transducer over the teen’s bare stomach. Fullmetal was laying shirtless, a sheet covering him below his hips, a clear gel smeared on his abdomen, a sonogram monitor to his right. Seeing Roy, the doctor turned back to the image on the screen, very curious about what he was seeing. “This new technology,” he explained, “allows us to see inside of the human body and is very useful in cases like this.”
Roy didn’t understand and didn’t want to. He had a passing acquaintance with ultrasound and didn’t care to listen to the doctor talk about his latest toy. The monitor showed nothing that Roy could see, and he honestly didn’t care if he did as he closed the distance between himself and his subordinate, who continued to cover his face with his arms. “What the hell did you do?” Roy grabbed the metal arm, and as the other was clasped onto it, it came with the right, revealing two watery, exhausted gold eyes. “Answer me!”
“I promised I would protect her. I promised you I would keep her safe. I promised myself that she would be okay. I tried. I couldn’t save her. I knew she was…” Ed sobbed. “And that it was yours. She told me that morning. I tried to save her. Save the baby. I couldn’t stop her in time. I failed. She died because I failed. She died because of me.”
Roy was still seething at the blond, his grip on the automail growing tighter, his mouth incapable of offering any words of comfort.
“But you didn’t fail, Brother,” the hollow armor echoed. “Everyone who saw it said you tried as hard as you could to keep up. Lieutenant Hawkeye thought the colonel was in danger. She is, was, unstoppable when he was in harm's way. Brother, you did everything you could.”
“And you did save the babies,” Dr. Knox interjected.
“Babies?” Roy asked, unintentionally releasing the teen’s arms, which immediately moved again to his eyes.
“Twins, the major said,” the doctor said, looking down at Fullmetal, then moved the machine around and pointed with his right hand to two tiny, not entirely human things now residing in the blonde’s gut.
“Fullmetal,” Roy said, “how did you do this?”
“It was from Dr. Marcoh’s notes, listed as a method of saving a baby.” Ed sighed beneath his arms. “I had no idea this was how it meant."
“Brother,” Al said, putting a metal hand on the blond head on the table. “Doctor, can the babies be moved to another alchemist? A woman?”
Dr. Knox removed the wand-like instrument and wiped it clean. “I fear the trauma of another alchemic move might destroy them. As it is, the pregnancy appears to be going well. Your brother’s body is adapting to bear them, and they are adapting to him.”
“They are adapting how?” Roy asked, coal-black eyes narrowing at doctor, rage growing at the man, who seemed to be treating this as an interesting experiment.
“From what I can tell, they share the major’s blood type, which couldn’t be possible in any combination of yours and the lieutenant's.”
“So they aren’t even ours any more?” Roy practically growled.
“Not at all. From what tests I have managed, it merely appears that some parts of the major have been incorporated.” Dr. Knox began wiping off the alchemist’s still-muscular stomach, as what at first sounded like nervous laugher came from the teen. With a cloth dragging over a sensitive stomach, laughter was to be expected, but it only served to fan the flames of the pyromancer. Al remained the conscientious brother, still rubbing the blond head with those large hands. The noises grew louder and Roy realized what they had heard had not been laughter. The Fullmetal Alchemist was sobbing.
“If this all wasn’t enough,” he said behind his arms, “the damned bastard has been giving me hormones. I can’t seem to make this stop.” He lowered the arms, his face red and swollen. Roy realized this was no easier on the teen than it was on him.
“If he stopped taking the hormones?” Roy suggested to the doctor.
“His male hormones would likely destroy the fetuses.”
“Fullmetal, I am not going to ask you to go through with this.” He turned back to Dr. Knox. “You can stop the hormones. It isn’t fair to the runt.”
“Who are you calling so short the babies will be twice his size?” The teen asked amid sobs.
“Brother, no one said anything remotely close to that.”
Fullmetal reached beneath the sheet and squirmed as he pulled his pants back over his hips, which had already, it seemed, grown wider as he struggled to move the usually snug leather over them.
“Mustang,” he said, having successfully won the fight with his clothing, leaning forward, resting his weight on his elbows, “the doc says my body is making itself ready to carry your kids, and the hormone shots are making sure that my body’s efforts aren’t wasted.” He sat upright, swinging his legs over the side of the table, placing his human hand on Roy’s forearm. His automail limb moved to his belly. “If they are all you have left of her, then I am willing. I won’t terminate this.”
“Brother?”
“What? You think being…” He looked down at his abdomen. “will stop me from finding the philosopher’s stone?” Ed moved his hands to either side of his body. “I promised you I would get your body back, and this certainly isn’t going to stop me.” Ed pushed himself off the bed to show just how healthy he was, only to stumble into Roy’s arms. “Light-headed,” he explained.
With Al’s help, Roy guided Ed back on the exam table, despite his protests that he was more than capable of doing it on his own.
“Fullmetal, it seems obvious that you are not strong enough--”
“Actually, he is. Possibly stronger than some women who find themselves in his position.” The teen looked up at the doctor, as though he had heard this all before, then settled himself on his side on the table. “Colonel, I do not think you realize what his body is going through for those children. It has created a mock uterus to give them a space in which to grow. It traded his appendix and gall bladder--which I understand Riza had already had removed from her own body--in order to obtain the babies in the first place. Then, his body healed where the appendix and gall bladder were removed, so not to harm the babies or cause internal bleeding. As we speak, it is trying to find a way to deliver them.”
“Though I prefer drugging me and cutting them out,” Fullmetal interjected from his position, sounding and looking half asleep. Roy looked down at the blond, absolutely shocked that not only had the teen thought this out, but had decided to have the babieseven though it meant surgery.
“He may be light-headed and have morning sickness, which I have observed during his conscious moments, but these symptoms are not uncommon in even the most traditional pregnancies.
“But this is hardly traditional,” Roy said, trying to remain standing, the rush of adrenaline fading and his body growing weak. He’d been through too much, and he certainly didn’t need to add to his list of troubles that his teenaged, male subordinate was now with child. His child. Roy had been functioning on next to nothing for days, and it was all catching up to him.
“Listen, Colonel,” Dr. Knox said, “I can’t keep him here while you two try to decide what you’re doing. He’s perfectly healthy, all things considered, and the two of you need time to discuss this. You may return him to the dorms and I will give you a written statement that at the moment he should not be doing any strenuous activity, and I will try to find some legitimate-sounding excuse.”
“I am not dropping him off at the dorms. Al, you and Fullmetal will stay with me.” He looked down for any protest from the volatile young alchemist, but all that came as reply was a faint snore.
*******
Ed sat against the headboard of the guestroom bed at Mustang’s rather large home, knees drawn up protectively to his chest, arms wrapped around his knees, listening to the pounding on the door, and watching the clock for the exact second he needed to use the needle beside his bed. Outside, he could hear the voices of Al and Mustang demanding to be let back in. Both had disagreed on many things regarding the care and treatment of the pregnant alchemist in the guestroom, but had seemed to find one thing they both agreed on: Ed needed to stop taking the hormones. Both were obviously concerned about Ed’s health and all possible results if the military found out. A pregnant male would more than likely become a guinea pig for one of the multiple military labs in the country.
Mustang, on his part, was also driven by his grief over Hawkeye and the idea of their children together becoming their children together with Ed apparently didn’t sit well with the commanding officer. Al seemed concerned with the continued search for the philosopher’s stone and what the remaining six or so months of pregnancy could mean in terms of lost leads. It was a rare show of selfishness on the part of the younger Elric, but Ed didn’t begrudge it. He tried to remain positive, but those same doubts were running though his own mind.
He knew he couldn’t let Al down. He had promised. But he couldn’t let the babies simply be absorbed into his body. He had also made a silent promise to her and Mustang.
The two on the other side of the room accused him of being unsure of his own feelings on the pregnancy, but he knew his emotions were quite solid. He was scared absolutely and completely shitless. He also knew he didn’t really have a choice in the matter. As much as he tended to scream “Colonel Bastard!” at his commanding officer, as he was doing at the moment, his mourning superior seemed to be temporarily forgetting his heartbreak in his concern for Ed--it certainly was having the same effect on the teen. Mustang had once before tried to kill himself, drink himself into oblivion, and even attempt human transmutation when in the midst of such despair. No one really talked about it, but the rumors were there, and Ed had seen how much Mustang had relied on Lieutenant Hawkeye following Hughes’s death. Here was a man whose mental state could become questionable in depression, and Ed wasn’t going to mess with it by removing the only factor that kept his superior clinging to reality.
“Fullmetal, do not make me burn down this door,” Mustang yelled almost fatherly. Ed had alchemically sealed himself in before the two could stop him from using that syringe next to him.
“Go ahead and burn it,” Ed taunted. “It’s your own damned door. I’m not the one who’s going to have to put it back together.”
Ed could hear scraping on the other side and knew Al was drawing some kind of array on the door. He looked at the clock, still two minutes to go, but he knew that it would not hurt himself or the babies taking the hormones a few minutes early. He grabbed the syringe in his automail hand and held out his own left arm, looking for the vein. Dr. Knox had shown him how to do this, and Ed found that his resolve made the process easier. Without looking up, he could hear Al transform the doors, allowing for both the armor and the raven-haired man to enter. Effortlessly, Ed slid the needle into his arm and forced the liquid into his veins.
Al and Mustang stopped in what Ed could see was shock on the face of the colonel and he supposed must have been in the glowing orbs that served as Al’s eyes. It was hardly a secret that needles were right up on Ed’s list beside milk and being called short, but there was no hesitation in his face as he squeezed the remaining fluid into his arm.
His gaze on the two intruders remained steady, daringly narrowing his eyes as he pulled the needle from his arm. “Doc said I could start using a pill after a while. I’ll be glad. I’ve only got one arm, and I certainly don’t trust either of you to find a vein anywhere else.”
Al came closer, sitting delicately at the edge of the steel-framed bed. Mustang stood, looking at Ed, his hand upon the footboard.
“For whatever reason, I am able to do this,” Ed said, once again pulling his legs up onto himself. “The doc called it a multiple miracle. The babies survived the lieutenant’s death.” He could feel himself tearing up. “They managed to survive being transferred into me. And my body is literally changing itself to make sure I can carry them.” The tears were rolling down his cheeks by this point, and he was incapable of stopping them. “Now, please, just let me do it!” He knew this time that the tears were not simply the result of the hormones or exhaustion. He was thinking about her and, without admitting it, about the man standing at the foot of his bed. “She was so happy. She was so sure about having a baby. She knew it was what she wanted. She didn’t even get to know she was having twins.” Ed felt himself being dragged across the bed and pulled beside Al, the hard metal of his arm poking into Ed’s left side. Mustang moved in front of Ed, looking down at him for a moment before letting out a startled grunt as Ed’s automail arm wrapped around him, embracing him.
Mustang returned the hug, his own tears falling onto the blond hair below him, his other arm wrapping around the unfeeling metal armor. His legs grew weak and he slumped down, now being held up by the two boys and their metal limbs.
Title: For Her. For Him.
Chapter: 2 Please Let Me Do This
Rating: PG-13 for now, eventual NC-17.
Pairing: Eventual Roy/Ed.
Summary:Riza Hawkeye is killed and Ed takes on new responsibilities for her memory and the life of his commanding officer.
Chapter 2
Please Let Me Do This
Three days passed after Riza’s death with Fullmetal drifting in and out of consciousness, according to Doctor Knox, whom Mustang had made especially certain was the only doctor to treat the teen, at least until more could be determined on what exactly he had done to Riza. Roy had made the obligatory visits to the hospital, but not even Al was allowed in with his brother, largely because there was still some doubt as to what had killed her, as those who didn't understand alchemy were suspicious of the number of alchemic symbols on her body, and even those who did understand the science were at a loss for the one that had been carefully drawn on her stomach. There was also concern that in the process of trying to perform alchemy on her, he might have done something to himself, as his state of consciousness did not seem to be warranted by the lack of any real damage done to his body.
A required autopsy held off Riza’s burial by several days, drawing out Roy’s anguish. He needed closure. He needed to see that she received proper burial before determining if he, himself, wanted to live. Everything he’d ever had to live for was gone. His best and oldest friend. His love. His child. Even his ambition to become fuhrer, since it had cost him the three much more important reasons to go on.
“Colonel Mustang,” the medical examiner said, stepping out of her office to bring the colonel inside. Roy joined the middle-aged woman into the room, though forcing each step felt as though he was moving through molasses. “Colonel, we have investigated the body and see nothing unusual. I will say, only because you were her commanding officer and I’m sure nothing else…” This, of course, meant that the doctor suspected the opposite. “Riza Hawkeye seemed to have been recently pregnant, but there was no baby. There was not even a sign that a baby had been removed. It is quite possible it was a false pregnancy...”
Or that Fullmetal did something to change it, he finished, mentally, her unspoken words. Roy stormed out of the medical examiner's office, which was held near the morgue in the basement of the military hospital. As he charged through the building, no one dared to stand in the Flame Alchemist’s way, even non-military family members knew either by reputation or the anger on his face that it was best simply to move. He cornered a terrified nurse to confirm Fullmetal was still where Roy had left him, in the most hidden part of the hospital, where only alchemic cases were treated.
Roy had no problem finding the place. Even before Fullmetal, the colonel had become accustomed to the secret area of the hospital more than he liked to admit.
No longer did he feel as though moving through a thick liquid; his adreneline was pumping and his anger, his desire to strangle the very life from his subordinate was winning out. He reached the guarded metal doors, nonverbally daring the two soldiers on guard to stop him. He pushed open the doors, finding Al sitting, armor hunched in front of a second set. These were also protected, but these two soldiers seemed more willing to stand up to the man in front of them.
“Colonel,” Al said, rising to his metallic feet, “you can’t go in there. They won’t even let me in to visit Brother.”
"There are several oxygen tanks in this room. I am quite certain no one would want to see me start an open flame at the moment.” Roy held his gloved hand upwards, fingers prepared to snap. The two guards stepped aside, deferring to his superior title and incensed attitude. Roy burst through the doors, Al on his heels, following.
“What did you do to my child?” Roy demanded upon finding Dr. Knox standing over Fullmetal, who held his arms over his eyes, hands tightly clasped at his elbows. “Where is my baby?”
“Right here.” Dr. Knox said. It was then that Roy finally noticed that the doctor was moving an ultrasound transducer over the teen’s bare stomach. Fullmetal was laying shirtless, a sheet covering him below his hips, a clear gel smeared on his abdomen, a sonogram monitor to his right. Seeing Roy, the doctor turned back to the image on the screen, very curious about what he was seeing. “This new technology,” he explained, “allows us to see inside of the human body and is very useful in cases like this.”
Roy didn’t understand and didn’t want to. He had a passing acquaintance with ultrasound and didn’t care to listen to the doctor talk about his latest toy. The monitor showed nothing that Roy could see, and he honestly didn’t care if he did as he closed the distance between himself and his subordinate, who continued to cover his face with his arms. “What the hell did you do?” Roy grabbed the metal arm, and as the other was clasped onto it, it came with the right, revealing two watery, exhausted gold eyes. “Answer me!”
“I promised I would protect her. I promised you I would keep her safe. I promised myself that she would be okay. I tried. I couldn’t save her. I knew she was…” Ed sobbed. “And that it was yours. She told me that morning. I tried to save her. Save the baby. I couldn’t stop her in time. I failed. She died because I failed. She died because of me.”
Roy was still seething at the blond, his grip on the automail growing tighter, his mouth incapable of offering any words of comfort.
“But you didn’t fail, Brother,” the hollow armor echoed. “Everyone who saw it said you tried as hard as you could to keep up. Lieutenant Hawkeye thought the colonel was in danger. She is, was, unstoppable when he was in harm's way. Brother, you did everything you could.”
“And you did save the babies,” Dr. Knox interjected.
“Babies?” Roy asked, unintentionally releasing the teen’s arms, which immediately moved again to his eyes.
“Twins, the major said,” the doctor said, looking down at Fullmetal, then moved the machine around and pointed with his right hand to two tiny, not entirely human things now residing in the blonde’s gut.
“Fullmetal,” Roy said, “how did you do this?”
“It was from Dr. Marcoh’s notes, listed as a method of saving a baby.” Ed sighed beneath his arms. “I had no idea this was how it meant."
“Brother,” Al said, putting a metal hand on the blond head on the table. “Doctor, can the babies be moved to another alchemist? A woman?”
Dr. Knox removed the wand-like instrument and wiped it clean. “I fear the trauma of another alchemic move might destroy them. As it is, the pregnancy appears to be going well. Your brother’s body is adapting to bear them, and they are adapting to him.”
“They are adapting how?” Roy asked, coal-black eyes narrowing at doctor, rage growing at the man, who seemed to be treating this as an interesting experiment.
“From what I can tell, they share the major’s blood type, which couldn’t be possible in any combination of yours and the lieutenant's.”
“So they aren’t even ours any more?” Roy practically growled.
“Not at all. From what tests I have managed, it merely appears that some parts of the major have been incorporated.” Dr. Knox began wiping off the alchemist’s still-muscular stomach, as what at first sounded like nervous laugher came from the teen. With a cloth dragging over a sensitive stomach, laughter was to be expected, but it only served to fan the flames of the pyromancer. Al remained the conscientious brother, still rubbing the blond head with those large hands. The noises grew louder and Roy realized what they had heard had not been laughter. The Fullmetal Alchemist was sobbing.
“If this all wasn’t enough,” he said behind his arms, “the damned bastard has been giving me hormones. I can’t seem to make this stop.” He lowered the arms, his face red and swollen. Roy realized this was no easier on the teen than it was on him.
“If he stopped taking the hormones?” Roy suggested to the doctor.
“His male hormones would likely destroy the fetuses.”
“Fullmetal, I am not going to ask you to go through with this.” He turned back to Dr. Knox. “You can stop the hormones. It isn’t fair to the runt.”
“Who are you calling so short the babies will be twice his size?” The teen asked amid sobs.
“Brother, no one said anything remotely close to that.”
Fullmetal reached beneath the sheet and squirmed as he pulled his pants back over his hips, which had already, it seemed, grown wider as he struggled to move the usually snug leather over them.
“Mustang,” he said, having successfully won the fight with his clothing, leaning forward, resting his weight on his elbows, “the doc says my body is making itself ready to carry your kids, and the hormone shots are making sure that my body’s efforts aren’t wasted.” He sat upright, swinging his legs over the side of the table, placing his human hand on Roy’s forearm. His automail limb moved to his belly. “If they are all you have left of her, then I am willing. I won’t terminate this.”
“Brother?”
“What? You think being…” He looked down at his abdomen. “will stop me from finding the philosopher’s stone?” Ed moved his hands to either side of his body. “I promised you I would get your body back, and this certainly isn’t going to stop me.” Ed pushed himself off the bed to show just how healthy he was, only to stumble into Roy’s arms. “Light-headed,” he explained.
With Al’s help, Roy guided Ed back on the exam table, despite his protests that he was more than capable of doing it on his own.
“Fullmetal, it seems obvious that you are not strong enough--”
“Actually, he is. Possibly stronger than some women who find themselves in his position.” The teen looked up at the doctor, as though he had heard this all before, then settled himself on his side on the table. “Colonel, I do not think you realize what his body is going through for those children. It has created a mock uterus to give them a space in which to grow. It traded his appendix and gall bladder--which I understand Riza had already had removed from her own body--in order to obtain the babies in the first place. Then, his body healed where the appendix and gall bladder were removed, so not to harm the babies or cause internal bleeding. As we speak, it is trying to find a way to deliver them.”
“Though I prefer drugging me and cutting them out,” Fullmetal interjected from his position, sounding and looking half asleep. Roy looked down at the blond, absolutely shocked that not only had the teen thought this out, but had decided to have the babieseven though it meant surgery.
“He may be light-headed and have morning sickness, which I have observed during his conscious moments, but these symptoms are not uncommon in even the most traditional pregnancies.
“But this is hardly traditional,” Roy said, trying to remain standing, the rush of adrenaline fading and his body growing weak. He’d been through too much, and he certainly didn’t need to add to his list of troubles that his teenaged, male subordinate was now with child. His child. Roy had been functioning on next to nothing for days, and it was all catching up to him.
“Listen, Colonel,” Dr. Knox said, “I can’t keep him here while you two try to decide what you’re doing. He’s perfectly healthy, all things considered, and the two of you need time to discuss this. You may return him to the dorms and I will give you a written statement that at the moment he should not be doing any strenuous activity, and I will try to find some legitimate-sounding excuse.”
“I am not dropping him off at the dorms. Al, you and Fullmetal will stay with me.” He looked down for any protest from the volatile young alchemist, but all that came as reply was a faint snore.
*******
Ed sat against the headboard of the guestroom bed at Mustang’s rather large home, knees drawn up protectively to his chest, arms wrapped around his knees, listening to the pounding on the door, and watching the clock for the exact second he needed to use the needle beside his bed. Outside, he could hear the voices of Al and Mustang demanding to be let back in. Both had disagreed on many things regarding the care and treatment of the pregnant alchemist in the guestroom, but had seemed to find one thing they both agreed on: Ed needed to stop taking the hormones. Both were obviously concerned about Ed’s health and all possible results if the military found out. A pregnant male would more than likely become a guinea pig for one of the multiple military labs in the country.
Mustang, on his part, was also driven by his grief over Hawkeye and the idea of their children together becoming their children together with Ed apparently didn’t sit well with the commanding officer. Al seemed concerned with the continued search for the philosopher’s stone and what the remaining six or so months of pregnancy could mean in terms of lost leads. It was a rare show of selfishness on the part of the younger Elric, but Ed didn’t begrudge it. He tried to remain positive, but those same doubts were running though his own mind.
He knew he couldn’t let Al down. He had promised. But he couldn’t let the babies simply be absorbed into his body. He had also made a silent promise to her and Mustang.
The two on the other side of the room accused him of being unsure of his own feelings on the pregnancy, but he knew his emotions were quite solid. He was scared absolutely and completely shitless. He also knew he didn’t really have a choice in the matter. As much as he tended to scream “Colonel Bastard!” at his commanding officer, as he was doing at the moment, his mourning superior seemed to be temporarily forgetting his heartbreak in his concern for Ed--it certainly was having the same effect on the teen. Mustang had once before tried to kill himself, drink himself into oblivion, and even attempt human transmutation when in the midst of such despair. No one really talked about it, but the rumors were there, and Ed had seen how much Mustang had relied on Lieutenant Hawkeye following Hughes’s death. Here was a man whose mental state could become questionable in depression, and Ed wasn’t going to mess with it by removing the only factor that kept his superior clinging to reality.
“Fullmetal, do not make me burn down this door,” Mustang yelled almost fatherly. Ed had alchemically sealed himself in before the two could stop him from using that syringe next to him.
“Go ahead and burn it,” Ed taunted. “It’s your own damned door. I’m not the one who’s going to have to put it back together.”
Ed could hear scraping on the other side and knew Al was drawing some kind of array on the door. He looked at the clock, still two minutes to go, but he knew that it would not hurt himself or the babies taking the hormones a few minutes early. He grabbed the syringe in his automail hand and held out his own left arm, looking for the vein. Dr. Knox had shown him how to do this, and Ed found that his resolve made the process easier. Without looking up, he could hear Al transform the doors, allowing for both the armor and the raven-haired man to enter. Effortlessly, Ed slid the needle into his arm and forced the liquid into his veins.
Al and Mustang stopped in what Ed could see was shock on the face of the colonel and he supposed must have been in the glowing orbs that served as Al’s eyes. It was hardly a secret that needles were right up on Ed’s list beside milk and being called short, but there was no hesitation in his face as he squeezed the remaining fluid into his arm.
His gaze on the two intruders remained steady, daringly narrowing his eyes as he pulled the needle from his arm. “Doc said I could start using a pill after a while. I’ll be glad. I’ve only got one arm, and I certainly don’t trust either of you to find a vein anywhere else.”
Al came closer, sitting delicately at the edge of the steel-framed bed. Mustang stood, looking at Ed, his hand upon the footboard.
“For whatever reason, I am able to do this,” Ed said, once again pulling his legs up onto himself. “The doc called it a multiple miracle. The babies survived the lieutenant’s death.” He could feel himself tearing up. “They managed to survive being transferred into me. And my body is literally changing itself to make sure I can carry them.” The tears were rolling down his cheeks by this point, and he was incapable of stopping them. “Now, please, just let me do it!” He knew this time that the tears were not simply the result of the hormones or exhaustion. He was thinking about her and, without admitting it, about the man standing at the foot of his bed. “She was so happy. She was so sure about having a baby. She knew it was what she wanted. She didn’t even get to know she was having twins.” Ed felt himself being dragged across the bed and pulled beside Al, the hard metal of his arm poking into Ed’s left side. Mustang moved in front of Ed, looking down at him for a moment before letting out a startled grunt as Ed’s automail arm wrapped around him, embracing him.
Mustang returned the hug, his own tears falling onto the blond hair below him, his other arm wrapping around the unfeeling metal armor. His legs grew weak and he slumped down, now being held up by the two boys and their metal limbs.