Investigations of Jean Havoc
Title: The Note at the Meeting
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Author: nomdeplume13
Words: 257
Rating: PG
Summary: Roy receives a note from his lover.
Warnings: Implied at end of manga, no spoilers here.
Roy sat at the meeting with some of the various higher-ups in the military. The fuhrer was gone and the matter of a new leader had yet to be resolved. The military was working with some of the civilian leaders to draft a new government, and already, a Parliamentary election was to be held next month, but the people seemed uncomfortable with a civilian head of state. Naturally, Roy was vying for the slot as President, Prime Minister or Fuhrer - all three titles had been bantered around.
Unfortunately, these meetings were either highly contentious or boring as hell. Today’s was the latter.
He opened one of his file folders to discover a note tucked carefully into the business card holder cut into one of the flaps.
Discreetly, he opened the note and fought the faint smile that tugged at the corners of his lips.
“You will need to let me know if they were at one another’s throats today. If the answer is no, be a good man and spare me the details. I’ll see you tonight. Don’t worry about dinner. I’ll cook. We both know you’re a lousy chef.”
He very nearly grinned at the images evoked by the postscript. “You can make it up to me somehow.”
These little, flirting notes were a familiar friend to the rising general, and he only wished it wasn’t a relationship that needed to be conducted in secret. This was near the top on his long list of changes he would make as leader of Amestris.
Title: Mustang has a Girlfriend?
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Author: nomdeplume13
Words: 298
Rating: PG
Summary: Havoc gets curious.
Warnings: Implied at end of manga, no spoilers here.
Jean Havoc had noticed something was off about the chief for the last several weeks. At first, he had thought it was just the meetings and the potential to become the fuhrer - or whatever the new government called the title - but it seemed to be more than that. He was not dating nearly as often as he had been before, and most surprising of all was he was spending more time with his staff outside of work.
“I think he’s got a girlfriend,” he admitted to Heymans Breda.
“Why would you say that?”
“You have to have noticed that he’s not going out as much as he used to,” he said. “And going out with us when he could be on a date? That’s not normal for the chief.”
Breda just shook his head and smiled. “And if he has a mystery girlfriend, who would it be?”
“I’m thinking it’s someone here at the office. Someone he can’t be seen dating because of the rules about subordinates.”
“Which leaves only Riza, Maria and Schezka,” Heymans said as he double checked Havoc’s paperwork. Jean had the tendency to transpose letters and was grateful his friend made sure that his work never reflected badly on him.
“I’m going to confront them. Riza... very tactfully.”
“You have tact?” Heymans joked. Jean was about to offer a sarcastic retort, but as he opened his mouth, the stocky man began to laugh. “Thank god you let me check these first, Jean. You wrote an entire report to Major General Armstrong about a strange orgasm discovered in the East.”
Jean may have been grateful for the quick check, but he knew he wouldn’t hear the end of his mistake any time soon.
Title: The Quiet Librarian
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Author: nomdeplume13
Words: 157
Rating: G
Summary: Havoc interviews Schezka about being Roy's girlfriend.
Warnings: Implied at end of manga, no spoilers here.
“You’re making fun of me,” Schezka said as she glared at the blond man.
“I’m just trying to find out the truth, and I think the truth is that Mustang has a girlfriend,” he kept his voice low, which had taken a number of shh-ing from Schezka to achieve from the boisterous man.
“And you thought of me?” Schezka asked.
“Well, you, Hawkeye and Ross,” he said. “Since you three will sometimes go out with us guys after work. And he couldn’t talk about dating any of you because of the whole no-dating-a-subordinate rule.”
“But I hardly go out with you when he is there,” she said quietly. “And... I am not the type of woman that the Major General usually goes for.”
“You know what they say: ‘Love is blind.’”
Schezka didn’t realize she hurled a book at the lieutenant until she heard him hit the ground.
Title: Narrowing the Possibilities
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Author: nomdeplume13
Words: 287
Rating: PG
Summary: Havoc questions Ross and Hawkeye about Mustang's lover.
Warnings: Implied at end of manga, no spoilers here.
Hawkeye and Ross had gotten to be good friends, and each time Jean thought he might get one of them alone, he found the other there. Finally, he took the risk of talking to them about Roy and the girlfriend that he was certain the major general had.
“Lt. Havoc,” Hawkeye greeted him as he approached with his cafeteria tray. The two women were seated at the corner of the large room at the far end of one of the tables. This was as close to a private chat as he was likely to get.
“You have something on your mind,” Ross said before taking a sip of water. “What is it?”
“I was wondering if either of you was, maybe, seeing a little more of the chief than usual.”
“Well, yes,” Ross said and Hawkeye nodded her head.
Jean nearly grinned. He had been right. One of them was dating the chief.
“He has been spending a lot more time with the team,” Hawkeye said.
“That’s not what I mean,” he said. “I think he has a girlfriend. One who is a subordinate, which is why we haven’t seen her.”
There was a second of silence before both women began to laugh. “We are really not his type,” Ross said.
“You’re looking for his date in the wrong camp, Lieutenant,” Hawkeye said, and Jean’s mind set to work. Come to think of it, every date he’d seen Mustang go on had involved him being awfully chatty with the waiters, male ticket takers and male chauffeurs. Almost to the exclusion of his female dates.
“That bastard has been stealing my dates just to mess with me!”
Title: Not a Girl
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Author: nomdeplume13
Words: 273
Rating: PG
Summary: Havoc has to look at the other team.
Warnings: Implied at end of manga, no spoilers here.
“So it’s a guy,” Heymans said. “You’re sure of that?”
“And it’s one of our group,” Jean said as he ate the fries that were far too good to be technically bar food. “That means Brosche, Fuery, Armstrong-” He shuddered at the thought. “Falman, too. Though, I prefer to think of Falman as being asexual. Reminds me too much of my dad.”
Breda chuckled and signaled to the bartender for another beer.
“I guess I could include Miles, since he’s been working with the chief in rebuilding Ishbal. I don’t think the chief would go for Scar or vice versa.”
“Don’t forget the boss and his brother.” Breda thanked the bartender as a mug was set in front of him.
“They’re only kids,” Jean said.
“The boss is seventeen and Alphonse is nearly sixteen. You can’t rule them out of the equation.”
“You don’t think the chief would really go for people that young, do you?” Jean knew he was already making the assumption that the boss was violating the rules against dating in subordinates in the workplace. He just didn’t want to think that Mustang would go that far.
“I don’t think you should narrow your search. After all, he has more in common with them than an average soldier.”
This question was nagging Havoc to no end. It was this taunting fact that was just out of his investigative grasp, and if it took looking at his commanding officer’s relationship with the boss and his brother as something other than fatherly, well, that was what he would have to do.
Title: Falman Actually Has a Sense of Humor
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Author: nomdeplume13
Words: 264
Rating: PG
Summary: Havoc questions Falman.
Warnings: Implied at end of manga, no spoilers here.
“So... Falman,” Havoc began. “You were up at the northern border for a long while. Wasn’t there anyone back home who was upset to see you gone for so long?”
Vato wasn’t quite sure where his coworker was going with this line of questioning. He had noticed the blond acting oddly, even for him, but his questions about Vato’s relationship status seemed extremely out of character. He was well aware that many of the men saw him as a father or uncle figure, and as such, they didn’t like to think of him as someone who had any sex at all.
“Not that I’m not flattered,” Vato said, dryly, “but I prefer women.” He knew very well this wasn’t what Havoc was asking him, and that he wouldn’t have asked him in such a public area with the military’s attitude toward gays in uniform.
“That’s not what I was asking!” Havoc hissed, turning red from embarrassment.
“Really, Lieutenant, I know what the brass says, but it is nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I’m not ashamed!” Havoc then quickly realized what he’d just said. “I’m saying that I don’t have any reason to be.”
“That’s the right attitude,” Vato said, offering him a firm pat on the back. He found it amusing that everyone thought he was a dour, serious man. He loved playing straight man to his coworkers and creating results like this one. “Be proud.”
He left Havoc doing a very good imitation of a fish as he tried to form a retort.
Title: Armstrong is Strangely Understanding
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Author: nomdeplume13
Words: 298
Rating: PG
Summary: Armstrong has been hearing rumors.
Warnings: Implied at end of manga, no spoilers here.
Lt. Havoc looked reluctant as he approached, and Alex couldn’t understand why. It seemed so many of the men walked up to him this way. He hated his imposing presence when, really, he was as gentle as lamb outside of the battlefield.
“Um... Colonel Armstrong,” the man began, quietly. “You’ve been included in more of the meetings with the Major General. Would you know anything about... well... if he has been seeing anyone?”
“Nothing that I have heard,” Alex answered honestly. “I was hoping that he would take an interest in one of my sisters. The Major General would make a fine addition to the Armstrong family.” He lowered his voice. “And I think he might be capable of holding his own with Olivier.”
Havoc nodded. “That’s all I needed to know.”
And then, Armstrong remembered what 2nd Lt. Falman had told him about the First Lieutenant. He lowered his voice. The military had its own view of these things. “Oh, you wanted to know for yourself. I don’t know much about Roy’s habits outside of the office, but I do have a cousin who I think you would get along with remarkably well.”
Havoc’s eyes narrowed. “I’m going to kill Falman.”
“You shouldn’t be afraid of who you are,” Alex reassured Havoc. “And the lieutenant told me this in strictest confidence.”
*
Heymans rescued his friend after he realized that the man had been stuck in the new colonel’s company for more than an hour. Apparently, in that time, he’d even agreed to go on a date with Armstrong’s male cousin. This was going to be fodder for months. It was even better than Jean’s unintentional use of orgasm in place of organism in an official report.
Title: Interupted
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Author: nomdeplume13
Words: 151
Rating: PG
Summary: Havoc is getting irritating.
Warnings: Implied at end of manga, no spoilers here.
Danny knew it was frowned upon to date someone who was his direct superior, but he had been in love with Maria for many years, and no military rule was going to change that. If it came to it, he would be moved to serve beneath one of Mustang’s other staff members. His duties wouldn’t change much, save for maybe less guard duty.
At the same time, he wasn’t happy to have Jean Havoc stumble across he and Maria sharing a quick kiss in an alcove not far from Mustang’s office.
“I.. well, I had a question about you, Danny, but I think I just had it answered.”
“I’m afraid I don’t swing that way, Jean,”
Jean growled. “I’m not gay! And really am going to kill Falman for spreading that rumor.”
Danny laughed. He knew it wasn’t true, but egging on the lieutenant was just too fun.
Title: Additional Discoveries
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Author: nomdeplume13
Words: 297
Rating: PG
Summary: Havoc learns new things about Fuery.
Warnings: Implied at end of manga, no spoilers here.
“How... how did you know I was gay?” Kain stuttered as he gathered the papers he’d dropped when Jean had asked him if he dated men.
“I didn’t,” Jean said. “But I was wondering if you and the chief were...”
Kain turned pink, but shook his head. “I hit on him once a year ago. I was drunk and he let me down nicely. He told me that he considered us to be friends, and that he didn’t want to risk that by trying to date. That wasn’t even to mention what a mess it could cause if any of the brass found out.”
Kain was still embarrassed by what had happened that night, and even the memory of it had turned him pink. “He could have used it against me if he’d wanted to, but he didn’t. He didn’t even joke about it.”
“I think it helps that he... has the same interests as you,” Jean said.
“Yeah, but he still could have made fun of my drunken come-on. It was... really pathetic.” Kain wasn’t stupid enough to share with the other man that he’d asked the then-colonel to “light his fire.” He knew how rumors circulated around the office. The definitely false rumor about Jean being gay had spread throughout headquarters in a matter of hours.
“Do you think he would date a subordinate?” Jean asked.
“Only if dating someone was worth more than the risk to his job and his goals.” Which was why Kain had found someone who, while a lieutenant colonel, was not his direct superior, and he was happier for it. He couldn’t have stood living in secret more than he already had to as a gay man in the military.
Title: Approaching Al
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Author: nomdeplume13
Words: 296
Rating: PG
Summary: Havoc wonders if Mustang's tastes run young.
Warnings: Implied at end of manga, no spoilers here.
Al stood outside of the Major General’s office and tried to ignore the sounds of arguing that he could hear going on inside. It would have been nice for his brother to visit without getting into a fight with his superior officer - their superior officer now that Al had become a state alchemist as well.
Breda was hovering outside the office with a frown on his face. “It’d be nice if for once they didn’t destroy half of the office. I’m usually the one who has to clean up after them.”
With a chuckle, Al leaned against the wall next to the door frame. “Do you ever think that it would be quicker if they both just whipped them out and got the measuring tape?”
“Speaking of which...” Havoc’s voice said as he stepped out from behind a file cabinet.
“That was one hell of a non sequitur,” Breda said.
“Of what?” Al asked, feeling like he was left out of the loop or that the two men were playing some kind of joke on him or making fun of him because he hadn’t had his body for very long and he’d gone a bit touch-crazy after he’d been able to feel for the first time in years.
“The chief, does he ever make any advances toward you or your brother?”
“Does he... what? No, of course not! That’s illegal!” Al turned his attention to the door as his brother’s voice carried into the hall.
“Get your hands off me!”
“Brother!” Al cried out before charging into his office to find Mustang trying to force his brother into a military uniform.
“You’re tall enough now. Suck it up and be a good little soldier, runt!”