Ode to a River in Egypt, 1/5-6 + Epilogue

[nomdeplume13]

Day Four

“So... wait,” Ianto said as he let the doctor, one he really didn't want to think of as Owen just yet, examine him. “You're saying that in your world, I'm dead, a walking zombie?”

Owen nodded and watched as crews began helping the other patients scattered throughout the room. “Jack brought you back with the second glove. Gwen said that it was me in this world.” He looked up at Ianto. “I'm guessing that the other me, he had to go to the nuclear power plant then? King of the Weevils?”

Ianto looked at him strangely. This Owen was very much alive. His hands were warm, there was blood pulsing through his veins as he checked Ianto’s pulse. How could he have known that?

“I used to tease my Ianto about that,” Owen said. Ianto wondered about the way he said that, my Ianto. “When you're someone's regular doctor, testing him daily, you learn to just get over all the polite ways of talking about this sort of thing.”

“I guess so,” Ianto said.

“Tosh died not letting him know that she was dying. I was trapped in a cell with a weevil minutes from regaining consciousness. Thankfully, he knew a bit more about what he was doing. He had a headstart that I'd guess I wouldn't have.”
Ianto nodded. The way Owen talked about Tosh was so very close to how the woman would have probably liked to have had him talk about her in this world in life. Perhaps, with Owen alive, they'd gotten the chance for that date. He'd have to ask him later.

He glanced over at Jack, who was talking with that Frobisher fellow. He'd gone back into captain mode and was busy trying to find out how to fix things, how to solve this all before everything reached a critical mass. Frobisher didn't seem to think they were still a viable player anymore. Even Ianto was beginning to wonder. It had been luck that brought Owen here, but what would happen now?

“This guy just doesn't get Torchwood, does he?” Owen asked as he glanced over at the man, as he saw Rhys being dragged in by some of Johnson's people. “I mean, there has to be enough equipment back at the hub to-”

“No hub,” Ianto said solemnly.

“No... wait, what? No hub? How can there be no hub?”

“Bomb in Jack's gut. One mile blast radius.”

“Did you at least get it...” Ianto gave Owen a look that told him he didn't need to finish that statement and, thankfully, he didn't. “Shit. He always comes back. From anything apparently.”

“That was my reaction.” He sighed. “Just parts were left. I watched from afar as the crews took back his body. That Johnson woman... I would rip her head off if I could right now. I'm certain she was involved in it, made him go through that. And probably in the death of the doctor we were looking at to, well, replace you.”

“Was it a Rupesh Somethingorotherforeignname?”

“You know him?”

“Yeah, he took a page out of the book of Suzie Costello. Though... I don't know if that means anything to you. He was an attempted mole into our group who ended up shooting you and Jack. Lucky for us, you don't go down from a bullet wound.”

“Oh yeah, it does mean something,” Ianto replied, buttoning up his shirt and putting his tie back on. He ignored the visual of how he could survive from the “Just promise me that he at least stayed dead.” Owen chuckled and nodded, much to Ianto's relief. “Good, I'd rather I was the only team member coming back from the dead today.”

“You weren't really dead just now, just in stasis,” Owen said. “And don't... don't joke about that.”

“Sorry,” Ianto said. “You and the other Ianto were... close then?” His question implied the sort of close that he had with Jack now.

Owen laughed, and Ianto realized how much he'd missed it, particularly this one, without any of the maliciousness that the other Owen had always had. “Friends, Teaboy. Just friends. Jack would have had my head... or worse... if I was anything else.”

Ianto looked over at Jack as he pulled on his waistcoat. “Jack was still with him even after he died?”

“Well, yeah,” Owen said. “Ianto always said it was the best thing that ever happened to them as a couple, of sorts. Said they'd never get close with sex in the way. I told him he was wrong.” Owen looked at Ianto suspiciously, but never asked if the other Ianto had been right, for which the Welshman was grateful because he didn’t know if he really knew the answer. Not after what had just happened.

“Maybe we should compare notes,” Ianto said.

Day One

Ianto heard Jack arguing with the PM even from the main part of the Hub. Really, the Welshman wondered why he had voted for the man. And he had, much to his own disgust. He supposed that the promises made to a country were very different from the personality of a man you were going to have to deal with on a regular basis. In person, he found the PM to be a somewhat weasley person. Jack said that it was just the fact that the man was a politician.

“No, I will not hand over those documents to UNIT. We took care of things... No, sir, I think it's pretty easy to track down a blowfish driving a sports car. My people have done it before. Managed to find it just fine... By asking people if they have seen a blowfish driving the car. The public are bound to notice. Give them a little credit at least.”

Ianto shook his head and managed a small chuckle. Jack dealt with everyone, save for the queen because Jack liked the queen, as though they were all idiots. After dealing with a number of them himself, Ianto could say that for the exception of a few of UNIT's members, he agreed with his lover. Most of the people that they dealt with were idiots, or at least incredibly ignorant.

Ianto did the typical scan for rift activity, finding very little, though. “Jack,” he called out, seeing a small blip on the screen. “Jack, we've got a hitchhiker.”

“Minister, I need to go... Because I've got to save the world. Like I always do.”

Ianto got himself ready, preparing the Hub to conserve energy after they left, carbon footprint and all that. He went to grab Jack’s coat for him, waiting for the older man to come down so he could help him put it on.

Jack hung up his phone and ran down to the central part of the Hub. “So do we really have a hitchhiker, or were you being kind and getting me out of a painful phone call?” He walked to Ianto and slid his arms into the sleeves.

“Both,” Ianto said. “Because you know I could handle a simple borderline parasitic mass on my own.”

And he could, really handle more than even that, now. He was as much of a field agent as Gwen. Admittedly, not the medical minded person that Owen had been, but he managed. Especially with the new scalpel that came through the rift. Owen would have liked it, as it would have fixed up the cut on his hand and the gunshot wound in his chest-the broken finger was his own fault and beyond what their medicine could do even now.

“Do you have what you need?”

“Even brought tupperware,” Ianto quipped, passing by a photo of Tosh and Owen attached to Gwen's station. Sometimes, it still physically hurt to look at them, though it was better than it once had been. He missed Tosh's quiet comfort and even Owen's sarcastic remarks.

Who'd have ever thought he'd see the day he'd think that?

“Well, Teaboy,” Owen said, shutting down the treadmill, going through their regular routine. “Still looking good.”

“Stop hitting on me,” Ianto said as he stepped down and picked up the weights.

“No chance. I don't like food that's gone off, why would I want a lover who had?” He looked over the clipboard. “Have you noticed any changes? Any signs of rigor mortis?”

Ianto shook his head. “Sadly, nothing's getting hard.”

“And you thought I'd want you as a lover that way,” Owen replied with a roll of his eyes. “I'm not quite as kinky as our captain.”

“Yes, well, Jack and I manage quite well, I'll have you know. I'll even give you details.”

“I really don't need to know that necrophilia does something for our heroic leader,” Owen said. “And I liked you much better when you blushed at the mere mention of shagging him.” He flipped through the papers, checking all of the test results.

“When you aren't really getting to shag, shyness about it kind of fades into the background. And for all you know, I could still be wanting to blush. No blood flow. Hence the shagging problem.”

“Details!” Owen said with a faint attempt to cover his ears.

Ianto laughed, though they were still trying to figure out how the dissipating energy keeping him alive also managed to let him laugh, talk, move.

“Hey, Ianto!” Jack called as he leaned over the railing into the autopsy bay. He smiled down at the Welshman, far more open about things between them since he'd lost Ianto following the incident at the Pharm. Jack had been a mess then, been willing to fight weevils and bring Ianto back from the dead, if that was what it took. And apparently, that was what it took. “We have a hitchhiker! Is he cleared to go, Owen?”

“Yeah. The energy's still there in excess supply and no signs of rigor mortis or decay.”

“Or the desire to eat brains,” Ianto deadpanned as he began changing into his usual suits. Ianto had been through these tests so many times he'd become nearly as nonchalant about stripping down in front of the doctor as Owen had at witnessing it. He put the suit on quickly, but with methodical precision. If anything, Ianto's OCD had gotten worse since his death and resurrection. Probably because he had more time to dwell on things now that he didn't need sleep.

Ianto ran a hand through his hair. “One plus to being dead. I don't sweat.”

Technically, as this was a medical mission, Owen should have gone, but they tried to send Ianto on the easier missions, ones where his body wouldn't be damaged. He needed to still feel useful and still part of the team. Though he was, more often than not, working at the computer stations. He’d learned a lot about hacking and tech with his extra time, from Tosh at first. Then he taught himself after they lost her.

The Welshman jogged up the steps. It was another miracle that while he didn't feel normal sensations, Ianto had a grasp on how to keep his balance, not to hold something too tight or too loose, to not slam his foot down too hard as he walked and lift it as high as it needed. According to the Welshman, he felt a pressure, but not the intense feeling he once had. The shocking difference was enough, he'd once said, that he might as well have lost all feeling. It was only the occaional reminder of feeling something, no matter how faintly, that he remembered he had any sensation at all. Owen wondered sometimes if that was why, when he caught the two kissing, Jack seemed to be doing it with a bit of ferocity. Never enough to bruise or anything that remotely involved biting, but enough that Ianto could at least feel the pressure, or so Owen would assume.

The two men had a strange relationship, and Owen knew Tosh would have loved to have seen it reach this point.

“All ready, Ianto?” he heard Jack call out.

“Yep. Even got the tupperware.”

Jack really hadn't been paying attention to how he interacted with Ianto. It had all just become second nature to him. The touch on the shoulder, the way they stood close together, the fact that most people saw Ianto as a sharp dresser and Jack as someone who had a thing for costumes... He really didn't think about it. They just were, well, whatever they were.

Of course, he had to put on a serious face as Ianto replied to that doctor, “Brave old heart.”

Sure, it sounded serious enough to an outside, but to Jack, it just made him want to laugh. Laughing right now would be a very bad thing. Not like they cared much about their cover. The days of keeping Torchwood a secret were long gone. What was the point anymore? Half of Cardiff knew who they were, and they just didn’t have the staff available for Ianto to constantly keep on the retcon flowing into the public.

So, they were busy playing the neighbors who lived next door, and Jack didn't think about the assumption that they weren't just roomies, just mates next door. This was a more modern Earth, with more modern assumptions. It was a small improvement, at least, and sometimes Jack forgot that this century had made those minute steps forward, particularly when he was wiht Ianto on a mission.

Still, they made their way in to view “poor old Mr. Williams,” and Ianto and Jack began their work on the older man.

“He thought we were a couple. 'You two.'“ Ianto said. “The way he said it, 'you two.'“

Jack wanted to ignore that bit, but Ianto obviously didn't. “Well, we are, does it matter?”

Watching Ianto get flustered was usually somewhat amusing, but right now, it made Jack nervous. He was getting dangerously attached to the Welshman and when that happened, it was never good. He remained disinterested as the subject continued, and Ianto caught his drift and got back to work. Jack used the laser saw and tongs to get into the dead man's body.

Of course, they had the luck they always do, and the doctor came back and realized they were Torchwood. What good was a super secret organization if you couldn't keep a secret? Then again, the doctor was fairly easy on the eyes, and they did need a medic... He could see the same look in Ianto's eyes. He liked it when they thought alike.

“Apparently, we're blatantly obvious,” Ianto said with a chuckle as he handed over the lasersaw.

Jack cut into the man's body. “Apparently.”

“Have I mentioned how many times I'm grateful that thing came through the rift?” Ianto asked.

“Oh, but you made the bullet wound look sexy.”

“You say I make everything look sexy,” Ianto said.

“Hell, it was. You took a bullet for Martha. Pretty damned impressive.”

“I was a meat shield,” Ianto said, working with ease.

“You were a hero,” Jack said, honestly, lifting the parasite from its confines.

“Sorry, one more...” the doctor said as he started to pull open the curtain, freezing in shock as the parasite remained wedged in the tongs. Well, Jack knew calling it a parasite was an unfair word, as the alien didn't realy hurt the host.

“An alien,” Jack answered as he put it into the tupperware that Ianto had actually brought with him. He'd thought at first the Welshman had been joking. As Ianto sealed up the container, Jack walked over to the doctor.

“You're Torchwood.”

“Does everyone know about us?” Jack asked, looking over at Ianto. He got a shrug in return. Jack turned back to the doctor. “Yes, and if you were a tech expert, I'd be offering you a job. As it is...” Jack grabbed the man and forced a retcon pill into his mouth, then waited for it to disolve. The new formula worked as well this way as disolving it into a drink and got into the blood stream even faster.

It took very little time for the man to succumb to the sedative, and Jack could feel Ianto rolling his eyes, even if he couldn't see it.

“You could have shown a little more finesse,” Ianto said as he gathered up the otherworldly traveler who was now vacuum sealed for transport.

“It worked,” Jack replied as he walked from the room. “Nurse!” he called out to the first person he saw. “The doctor just collapsed. I think he fainted.”

As medical personnel filed in, he and Ianto headed out.

Ianto Jones was a strong enough man not to admit how much it hurt that Jack kept dismissing the whole couple thing. If they couldn't even be called that, then what the hell were they? What did he tell his sister, now sitting across from him, giving him a guilt trip about their father's death and his lack of contact?

“He is very handsome,” he answered because he couldn't think of anything better to say.

“No!” Rhiannon said. Her amused grin meant this was far from over.

“Now stop it,” he admonished, but she didn't, asking him if he was nice.

Was today the day that someone in the world decided that Ianto Jones needed to be completely and totally outted? Because he would have liked to have been in on that decision, at least a bit more prepared. Maybe have prepared Jack a little too. So that Jack could have helped him come up with an answer to give his insistent older sister.

How did she make him feel like he was ten all over again? Really?

Then Johnny came in, the wanker. Bender was one thing to say in front of your kid, but to use the phrase, “taking it up the arse” was another. Why did his sister marry him anyway? She could have done better. She had a good, caring heart and he was a bastard.

Well, not always, but at the moment, he was a bastard.

A bastard who began throwing bricks at the Torchwood SUV. Which Ianto lost.

Jack was going to shit.

“Uncle Ianto!” Misha and David yelled as he came in the door. Ianto smiled and gave them a hug before giving them both a tenner. Admittedly, that was probably part of the reason they were glad to see him, but thankfully, it was no longer the only reason they were. With all the free time Ianto had on his hands anymore and realizing how precious his time really was, he visited his sister far more than he used to. Now, if he could just convince her to let him borrow Mica for a while.

“With everything going on, Ianto, no,” Rhiannon said. “Not a chance.” She looked outside. “You have the car and no Jack?”

“Nope. No Jack,” he said.

“You know, Susan saw you two at a French restaurant together,” she said. “I told her that the gorgeous man was my baby brother's boyfriend.”

“Jack hates that term,” Ianto said.

“Doesn't bloody well matter,” Rhiannon said, giving him a quick squeeze around his shoulders. “I was the one talking to her, and if I want to call Jack your boyfriend, I will.” She rubbed at his arms. “You're so cold Ianto. Did someone exchange your blood for coolant or something?” She tried in vain to get him to warm up.

“I'm a vampire. I forgot to tell you,” he joked, wryly.

“Very funny, Ianto.”

“No, actually, I'm a zombie,” he said. Of course, the truth was returned with the same reaction.

He wondered if Jack was having any better luck getting his grandson from Alice. Knowing how much the woman resented Jack and how quickly she’d figure out what her father was up to, Ianto highly doubted it.

Well, talk about shock. A bomb. That was... unexpected to say the least. And he'd been so happy just milliseconds before with Gwen being pregnant. Now... shit. He had to get them out of the hub. They had to go now. Gwen was refusing to go, no surprise there, but the fact that Ianto didn't seem to care... That Ianto was risking himself, for what? Jack? He would come back.

“You're pregnant!” he yelled to the woman, forcing her out of the cog door.

He turned back to see Ianto futilely trying to find a way to override the system, even try to get this thing out of him. There just wasn't time, and Jack would come back... he hoped. He knew he stood a better chance of it than his lover. He tried to look determined as he approached the younger man at the computer monitor. The man who seemed determined to stay.

Stupid Welshman. He should know better than to risk himself for Jack.

He drug his lover up onto the platform, kissing him as a distraction, and caused it to rise. Oh, he knew that this was a sick, sick thing to do, since this was almost the same sort of thing he'd done with Lisa, but at least then he'd been there riding the lift with him. Jack knew he was a bastard, but whether or not Ianto forgave him for this, it didn't matter. He would at least be alive.

“We've got it!” Gwen said, then amended it. “Well, Ianto figured it out, bloody technical genius he's become. It's broadcasting on a specific frequency, a code. And from what the computers are telling us, it looks like instructions.”

“Instructions for what?” Jack asked.

“Construction, looks like,” Ianto said.

“Yes, but for what?” Jack repeated. He was trying to piece together, mentally, what this thing would look like when it was done.

“Do I look like I do construction, Jack? Am I dressed up like a member of the bloody village people?”

“No, but that would be hot.” He couldn't help but smirk. After all, world ending or not, he was never too distracted to hit on Ianto.

“Oi!” Owen said from the console he was at. “Will the two of you stop it? Children of earth all behaving like characters out of Village of the Damned. You want to focus a bit?”

“Okay, so we have construction diagrams and a chemical formula. It's a start.”

“Now we just have to figure out what the hell is going on,” Owen said, looking over the chemicals listed. “Because from what I can see, this stuff is poison.”

“Can you pick anything else up on that frequency?” Ianto asked.

“I'm scanning,” Gwen said, looking over the computer screen. “But it looks like it only works when the kids are talking. How can they manage to use the children like that?”

Jack couldn't help but notice as her hand went down to her stomach. He thought of his grandson, so happily telling him he'd been talking like an alien. He could see the concern on Ianto's face as well, probably thinking of his niece and nephew.

“We’ll figure this out,” Jack promised.

They had to.