Final Fantasy XIII: Homecoming

Feb 01, 2010 21:16

Fandom: Final Fantasy XIII
Title: Homecoming
Rating: PG
Characters: Oerba Yun Fang, Oerba Dia Vanille
Notes: Takes place in Ch. 11. Spoilers for the game.

***


When Fang stepped out of fal’Cie Atomos, she was surprised to feel the crunch of frost under her boots. In her mind, the snows had yet to come, but now it looked as if the cold reached all the way down to Oerba Village. She sensed Vanille standing beside her, quiet and melancholy. Fang couldn’t think of a thing to say, so she settled for reaching out and twining her fingers in Vanille’s.

They weren’t too far from home and this path should have been as familiar as the stairs of their house, but the air smelled strange and the white landscape felt alien. Fang had a flashback to happier times, her and Vanille racing each other through the edges of the road in teasing laughter, laden with fruits or meat, or perhaps a basketful of fish. It was not so long ago, and it was five hundred years ago.

Fang didn’t know how she felt about going home.

Lightning, as usual, seemed to take it all in stride, and with admirable efficiency had already surveyed their surroundings and organized the rest of their little band. Now she turned to Fang with a soft, “Hey,” before jerking her thumb towards the sea and asked, more out of politeness than any real need for direction, “Is Oerba that way?”

“Yeah,” Fang said. She was glad her voice sounded almost normal. “About 2 hours, maybe 3 with the snow.”

Lightning frowned a bit, probably calculating how hard to push the pace, and Fang had to smile. The woman had grown unexpectedly well into the role of leader, and now seemed more a mother hen than a military officer.

“Don’t worry Light,” she added. “We’ll definitely get there before sundown.” Then, grinning, she poked Sazh’s butt with her spear. “As long as this old man doesn’t hold us up!”

“Ouch! Hey! Who you calling an old man!” Sazh whirled around, looking genuinely offended, and Snow gave a guffaw.

Fang shrugged. “I was. Don’t think I didn’t see you slacking that last fight.”

Hope chipped in, “You said your back was hurting and you didn’t want to walk anymore.”

“He-, hey! You’re not supposed to repeat that!”

“Come on old man,” Fang strode past him and gave him another light prod. “Let’s get a move on before the chocobos come home.”

“Don’t poke your elders!” came the answering howl behind her, and beside her Vanille giggled. Finally, Fang thought.

Vanille grabbed her arm and laughed into her shoulder. “Oh Fang, you shouldn’t tease Sazh. It’s not his fault he has to go slow.”

That earned a chuckle from Fang, and she kissed Vanille’s temple. Off to the side, she heard Lightning sorting out their party formation, with Snow and Sazh in the rear, and Fang and Vanille in the lead. But Vanille had already skipped off, humming some broken tune, and Fang found her feet hurrying to catch up. It was a game they’d played out countless times before on this road. Of course, Fang was aware that neither of them was eager to get to Oerba, but like their many unspoken agreements until now, they knew they couldn’t afford to cry over such things while their fate ticked inevitably along.

So Vanille was happy to pretend, and Fang was happy to help distract her. And for a few moments, she too let herself be drawn into the illusion - just another day hurrying home after their chores, with a hot meal and a warm bed waiting.

***

Fang’s prediction was, to her surprise, on the mark. The group made good time - teasing Sazh did turn out to be useful after all - and notwithstanding the monsters, they made Oerba an hour or so before sunset. The mood though, had been ruined, and even Snow seemed to be quite somber after demolishing the last horde of pitiful Cie corpses who were evidently remnants of the village. Fang tried not to think about whether she might have known them.

It was, she decided, all in all a rather shitty day. Still, there was also a morbid curiosity to see what the house looked like now. Was it even standing? And if it was, was it fair to ask Vanille to spoil her last memory of their old lives with this grim reality?

Then again, standing out here while night fell wasn’t that great an option idea, and by the looks of Lightning’s frown, Fang wasn’t the only one to think so. In fact, not finding cover soon was a downright bad idea. It was just that Lightning respected her and Vanille’s situation too much to move the group into the village without first getting tacit permission.

Huh, picked a fine time to be polite. Well, she could at least protect her dignity, so she chose to speak up first.

“Light, once we cross the bridge, the road descends into the village square. It’s a clearing with houses built around, and only two roads. One’s the way in, the other leads down to the shoreline. If they’re still in good condition, that’s the best place to camp tonight. We built those houses high, so they’re pretty defendable.”

Lightning nodded. “Good. Let’s go.”

Fang glanced at Vanille, hoping she wasn’t upset, but she was facing away, staring at the sea. It was one of the rare times Fang had no idea what she was thinking, and it made her chest ache.

“Vanille,” she called out softly. There was no response, then, as she debated calling again, Vanille turned around. She was wearing a sad little half-smile, and the rays of Oerba’s winter sun lit up her hair to a fiery red. Of all the days they’d spent together since awakening, Fang thought she’d never looked lovelier, berated herself for that thought, then realized this was probably the last time they’d be standing on this cliff, under their home sun.

Swallowing a lump, she touched Vanille’s shoulder gently, and without further words the two of them set down the path together.

***

For having been abandoned for five hundred years, Oerba Village looked extraordinarily good.

Fang thought the sea wind would have left the place a creaking mess, but everything was still sound, if a little dirty, and when she tested the steps they seemed as sturdy as she remembered them. She felt oddly proud that their house looked to be in the best shape. They’d gone around to make a cursory inspection of all the buildings and to remove obvious threats, and now that that job was finished everyone seemed to be waiting for her next move.

Somehow it felt a little like bringing guests home. Fang climbed up first, followed by Vanille, then the others single file because the stairway was meant to accommodate two abreast and nobody wanted to hit someone with an elbow should they have to draw their weapon. When Fang reached the top, the door was closed. She hesitated before wrapping her fingers around the lever, and by that time Vanille was standing beside her. A glance, an almost imperceptible nod in reply, and Fang pulled down and pushed forward.

When she thought back on it, she should have expected the door to be locked, and if that had been the case it would’ve been rather embarrassing. As it were, the door swung open easily, and Fang had to suppress the urge to call out, “I’m home,” as she crossed the threshold.

Home was little different than when she left it. The pieces of her and Vanille’s former life lay around; decorations on the wall, dishes beside the sink, cushions on the seat. Even Pacti was there, on the floor, quiet and forlorn. The only thing to mark the passage of time was the dust and grime that covered everything.

“Pacti!” Vanille squealed and rushed forward, and before Fang could blink the whole team had piled into her home, poking and prodding at stuff in innocent curiosity. Lightning had the decency to look rather shy at the impromptu invasion, standing awkwardly just inside the doorway, until Fang decided to put her out of her misery with a nonchalant shrug and waved her over.

Before she could make small talk, though, there was a sudden commotion in the corner. Fang caught phrases like, “just the solenoid”, “should be easy to find” and “leave it to me!” and suddenly Sazh, Snow and Hope were running out with grins on their faces.

Vanille jumped up, looking incredible happy. “Fang! Sazh says he can fix Pacti! Isn’t that wonderful?!”

“Huh?” Fang answered back intelligently, not quite following what was happening and feeling somewhat out of her depth with the sudden change in mood.

Vanille gave her a quick hug, then ran back around the room, testing this and trying to turn on that, muttering to herself as most things invariably didn’t work, or produced a tiny whine and then nothing.

“This was… your house?” Lightning said hesitantly.

“Yeah, mine and Vanille’s.” Fang put a hand on her hip, watching Vanille’s delight at discovering the taps still produced water, and let a smile cross her face. “Not bad, eh, for a five hundred year old wreck. We Oerbas build things to last.”

“Fang, Fang!” Vanille interrupted, excitedly. “The pipes are still good! We can clean up before everyone gets back.”

Fang arched an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Yeah! I mean, they’re guests, and I kinda feel bad that everything looks terrible.”

Fang chuckled. Her and Vanille were very different people, but in some ways they thought the same things. Being proud of their home was one of them. “You’re right. Let’s at least try to clear the dust out of the main room.” She glanced over her shoulder. “Light, get your butt over here. You’re helping out too.”

***

By the time the boys were back, the floor and dining table were decently clean. The sofa had been pronounced structurally unsafe by Lightning, and so they found themselves sitting on the floor, waiting for Sazh to work his magic on the little toy.

When the robot finally beeped back to life, the boys cheered and Vanille literally jumped for joy. Fang took in the scene and felt a guilty relief that Vanille was preoccupied enough to be back to her usual cheery self, even if it was only for this night. Although Fang’s confrontation about her memories and their subsequent making up had cleared the air, Vanille was still prone to bouts of despondency and it worried Fang.

Much later, after everyone had eaten and Vanille had carefully washed, dried and put away the dishes, Lightning announced that for four of them would stand guard on the floor below, and promptly dragged everyone but Fang and Vanille out.

Fang let out a sigh when the door clicked shut behind them. As fond as she had become of their traveling companions, they also tended to be quite overwhelming in close quarters. Plus, she had to admit, coming back home still left her feeling unnerved. Too many things from another lifetime threatened to remind her of what they’d lost, and could never hope to get back.

Fang shook her head. Brooding was unlike her. She grabbed her bedding and started arranging it on the floor. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Vanille plop herself down beside her, knees folded to her chest.

“Hey there,” Fang said softly, “How’s Pacti?”

Vanille tilted her head to glance at the toy, now gleaming and polished, and smiled. “He’s great. I just powered him down, ‘coz Sazh said the battery might not last.”

“Yeah?” Fang felt the corners of her own mouth turn up. Bedding done, she sat back and reached down to undo her boots. “It’s pretty amazing that he fixed him.”

“Isn’t it,” Vanille agreed, a bit of wonder in her voice.

“And before you can ask, no we can’t take him with us.”

Vanille pouted. “I wasn’t going to say that and you know it. I’m just glad we became friends. I mean, even though we caused so much trouble. Especially to Sazh.”

Fang stopped fighting with the strap of her boots and looked up to hold Vanille’s gaze. She saw the regret and sadness that had marked her since they woke up in this world. “You shouldn’t worry about that now,” she offered awkwardly.

“I know. At first I thought they’d hate me, but they’ve forgiven me.”

Fang nodded. “They’re good people. A bit strange, but strong. Most l’Cie would have given up or run away by now.”

“They won’t give up. They’re fighting for the ones they love,” Vanille stated simply.

“We all are, Vanille. That’s the way the fal’Cie work,” she said gently, to cushion the cruel fact. “Only those with the strongest will could survive to fulfill their Focus, so they always use love or hate to bend people to their whims.”

Vanille sighed, and look away. When she spoke after a pause, her voice was tinged with uncertainty. “Sometimes I wonder if it’s wrong.”

Fang’s brow creased, not quite understanding what Vanille was implying. She waited for more, but Vanille had gone still and quiet. Sensing that Vanille was trying, in her own way, to open up about what had been troubling her, Fang held her words. Experience told her that sometimes it was better to wait for Vanille to carry on than to make a comment that allowed Vanille to deflect the matter.

Several minutes passed in silence.

“You know, I was so scared to come back to Oerba,” Vanille finally said. She played with the bangles on her wrist before continuing, “I didn’t know which would be worst, if the village was completely gone, or if it was just the way it was.”

“And now?” encouraged Fang, after a long pause.

“Now…” Vanille trailed off. Her fingers had moved on to picking at her skirt, but her eyes were still on the floor. “Now, it’s still hard. Everyone died because of us. Even though I know, up here,” Vanille tapped her forehead, “it’s all because of the fal’Cie, down here,” she placed a hand on her heart and finally met Fang’s gaze, “it doesn’t hurt any less.”

Fang looked into her face, and fought the urge to remind Vanille that since it had been her decision, not Vanille’s, if anything the guilt for the destruction of the world should rest on her shoulders.

Vanille closed her eyes tightly as if in pain. “Now, we’re back again, with the same Focus, and I can’t… I can’t…” She opened her eyes suddenly and there were tears. “Oh Fang!” she cried.

The sound tore at Fang’s heart. In an instant, she had enveloped Vanille’s slender form in a tight hug. Vanille buried her face in Fang’s hair and her fingers clutched at the back of her shirt as the sniffles began.

“Fang, I’m so scared,” she sobbed.

Fang’s hand stroked Vanille’s hair gently. “Shh, shh, I’ve got you,” she murmured. She could feel Vanille fighting to keep from crying. When her shoulders had stopped shaking, Fang loosened her hold to look at Vanille. She wiped away a tear streak with a thumb and asked, “Hey, you okay?”

Vanille simply leaned in to rest her forehead against Fang’s. “They don’t know about Ragnarok. What will they think when they find out that we were brought back to destroy Cocoon?” She took a deep breath, let it out shakily. “I really like them. We feel like a family. I don’t want to fight them, Fang. But when they find out what our Focus is, we’re going to be enemies.”

“Stop that,” admonished Fang. “You don’t know that for sure. It’s more than likely that they were also created to destroy Cocoon. The same Focus.”

Vanille shook her head. “That’s not the point. Even if the only choice was dying, they’d still give their lives to protect Cocoon.”

“So what are you saying? That we should just stop? Roll over and play dead while Orphen or Eden or whatever makes another batch of l’Cie?”

“But if we go ahead, we’d destroy everything, again!”

“If that’s the only way to survive!”

“How can you say that!” Vanille burst out.

Fang stared into Vanille’s eyes, which were red and wet, and let out a breath. Feeling suddenly bone-tired, because they had finally hit the crux of the problem, she wondered how they had come to be so far apart. Things had been lonelier, but simpler, when it was just the two of them and all Fang had to think about was keeping Vanille safe.

“Please Vanille,” she said eventually, unwilling to get into another fight with Vanille. “Please don’t ask me to stop. You know what’s going to happen to you, and how I’d never accept it.”

“I know!” Vanille cried out. “I know, because every day, I worry about the same thing. Fang, you’d do anything to protect me, and I worry that one day I’m going to wake up and you’ll be gone again! Or you’re going to sacrifice yourself for me, and I’d be left…” She glared, angry tears sliding down her cheeks.

“Vanille, I -”

Vanille looked away and whispered, “I’d be left all alone, Fang. I’m so, so scared that I’ll be alone.”

The sudden confession paralyzed Fang for a moment, before she leaned in and wrapped her arms around Vanille who had started to cry again. “I’m sorry,” she said, unable to think of anything else to say.

“I love you so, so much,” Vanille sobbed. “Please don’t leave me again.”

“I -” Fang tightened her grip. “Never,” she said with conviction. “I promise.”

With that, Vanille began to cry even harder. Fang held her, and whispered “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” as Vanille continued to cry, and Fang let her, because she knew that Vanille was crying for the pain and sorrow in both of them, and this was one burden that Fang had to allow her.

When Vanille had finished, because although she cried easily she never cried long, Fang was ready to take her face in her hands and slowly kiss away the tears, like she used to do when they were children.

“I’m sorry,” she said, as she placed a kiss on one eye, then the other. “I never meant to hurt you, or ignore your feelings.” She kissed her left cheek, lingered there, tasting salt. “I love you too. Sometimes it makes me a little crazy,” she admitted.

Vanille nodded, sniffling a little.

Fang touched her lips to her right cheek, then her forehead, before placing a peck on the tip of Vanille’s nose. “We’ll find a way to work it out, somehow. For us, and for everyone else.” Fang ran her fingers slowly through Vanille’s bangs, tucking stray strands behind her ear. “And this time we’ll do it together. That, I promise too.”

A small smile crossed Vanille’s face, and she reached up to press Fang’s hand into her cheek. “Thank you, Fang,” she said softly.

“No, thank you. For reminding me what’s important, whenever I go wrong.” Fang gave her a last kiss, gently on the edge of her mouth.

She stood up and offered a hand. “I think we’ve had enough excitement for one night. Let’s get you cleaned and ready for bed.”

It was a while later when Fang switched off the light and they finally crawled into the bedding. A bit of clean water had done wonders and now Vanille was good as new. She fell asleep as soon as she lay down, and Fang wrapped her arms around her and felt the darkness claim her as well.

That night, Fang’s dreams were of Oerba, the days in the orphanage, and Vanille as a child. They were happy memories, and for the first time since returning to Gran Pulse, Fang was at peace.

***

They set out early the next day. Lightning has gone ahead to scout the bridge, so Vanille drags Fang down to the pier to see the morning sun break the clouds. Fang is content to take a seat on one of the stone benches and watch Vanille watch the fish. Soon enough though, it’s time to make a move.

Fang calls out, and Vanille turns around and runs back. When she stops in front of Fang, she’s got a little smile, and it’s a bit sad, but it’s also a bit happy, and the dawn rays have turned her hair a golden swirl. Fang thinks it’s the prettiest she’s ever seen Vanille, and makes a silent promise to herself to return and start their new lives here.

oerba yun fang, oerba dia vanille

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