"I'm never alone, I'm alone all the time..."

[nomaj]

Okay, so it's nearly 2pm now... in 13 hours I'll go to the airport and catch a plane to Ibiza
and I'm not too sure if that's what I really want. There are some good points about it,
for example the good weather and that I'll be by the sea. I just love the sea!
But there will be a lot of people and my family will be around me,everybody will be happy
or at least pretending to be and I don't know if I am able to cope with that.
At the moment I often don't know how to cope with people being around me at all
and I don't want to talk with my family about stuff like that.
And I'm on the run all the time...
I had 6 weeks of holidays and I spent almost five of them going on holiday,
visiting people, who live far away and stuff like that. I'm just fed up.
I need holidays after these holidays, that's what I think. But that's not going to happen.
In contrary - I'll go on a study-trip to Scotland as soon as school starts again
and I don't know if I can enjoy it at all because I feel so burned out.
I just want a bed, some good books and maybe my sewing-machine and my computer
and the rest of the world to leave me alone.