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[nom_de_plume_86]

I need to know better than to think about J or write about him here like I did the other night.  Everytime I do, it's like sending out some cosmic signal for him to pop back into my life

Comments

[starspirit76]

I think that your friends should have told you what was coming.

It's also ok for you to feel the way you do. There isn't a magic number of days or months that will pass before you are over it. I know it doesn't help to keep running into him but I speak from experience in that it will hurt less as time goes on.

[nom_de_plume_86]

I just thought that now, almost half a year later, that it wouldn't still feel this raw.

[ascendant]

and you won't wake up the day you're over it and realize it either. it will be weeks later, when you're doing something else entirely. and you won't even be bothered to think long about why you're over it because you'll no longer see that as even worth your time.

[nom_de_plume_86]

I know, I'd just thought that I was already at that point. I'd spend weeks at a time with out a thought of him flicking through my head, and when it did happen, it wasn't a stabbing pain anymore.
This feels like it brought me right back to square one, at least at the time. Right now I just feel drained and desperate to do something to get my mind off of it.

[ascendant]

i had that happen to me at pride this year. my ex told me he missed us being friends, wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. then dropped the bomb that he has a new boyfriend. i think it's just the next step, realizing that things have changed whether you were aware or not. sometimes that throw a wrench in the healing process, but in the longterm i think it helps, because you can disconnect yourself from thinking there's a way to go back.