Anairë

[nolomiril]

I remember the day we left. She stood beneath the pillars, while the wind swept the hair from her back. She watched me, solemn, as her family left her side. I expected to see some accusation in her eyes, but I knew there would be none. She knew me too well, just as I knew her. She understood that I had to leave, for reasons I did not know. And I understood just as clearly that I would never see her again.

Holiest. And how I worshiped her.

I did not want to walk away. Even with what came after, that was the hardest moment I remember. Aredhel clung to me, head buried against my shoulder as she cried. It was unexpected to all of us. We had thought she would come with us, bring light to our dark journey.

"There are many things I must see to, melda, and many things you must do. All separate one day. It is merely our time."

The words scored me, and still their scar remains.

Whenever I think of her I see that one moment. With the pattern of leaves dancing at her feet, her slender white hand pressed against the cool marble of the pillar. I remember how her eyes seemed to darken the further we went, until a shadow covered her face.

I still wonder if she came to resent me for leaving, and for taking our children away from her.