Good Bye
For the past several months I've been contemplating this move to a friends only journal. Not so much that I'm tired of the drama this thing induces, but rather because of the people who read it who I honestly don't want to let read it any more. I'm going to be flushing out my friends list, and from here on out all my entries will be protected except the next one, because I found a nifty FO Banner. I'm not going to go through and alter any previous entries. Who knows, maybe some day I'll fade far enough away from these people that I can open my journal to the public again. For now, this seems the wisest move.
I'm just tired. I'm tired of people who I either just don't like any more, or I simply don't care for. I'm tired of the knowledge that there are too many people out there who could find me who I never want to hear from again. I'm tired of too many things.
If I take you off my friends list durring this process, try hard not to be offended, though I'm sure some of you will. Try hard not to be hurt or take it as a personal insult, though I know some of you will (and some just won't notice or care, and that's ok too).
On the whole, I don't like people any more. I used to love them. I used to genuinly like 99% of everyone I met, I gave people the benefit of the doubt, I gave second, third, twentieth chances. I didn't lose perspective because of the things that happened to me last semester, I stopped liking people because of the way I was treated by the "nice people" while I was dealing with hell, and since then the way I've been treated by these same people.
I used to be part of a large group of friends, so many people to like. Since then we've been boiled down and distilled, seperated into subgroups and sub-subgroups and now I know the general area in which I stand.
And I'm tired of the stupid games. The talkers. The people who will read my live journal and whisper into the ear of the people who I don't like and who don't like me, trying to stir shit up again. I'm cutting you free. Good bye.
I used to cry every time I lost a friend, every time someone I loved and trusted turned away, every time distance and time seperated us.
I barely blink any more.
~L~
I'm just tired. I'm tired of people who I either just don't like any more, or I simply don't care for. I'm tired of the knowledge that there are too many people out there who could find me who I never want to hear from again. I'm tired of too many things.
If I take you off my friends list durring this process, try hard not to be offended, though I'm sure some of you will. Try hard not to be hurt or take it as a personal insult, though I know some of you will (and some just won't notice or care, and that's ok too).
On the whole, I don't like people any more. I used to love them. I used to genuinly like 99% of everyone I met, I gave people the benefit of the doubt, I gave second, third, twentieth chances. I didn't lose perspective because of the things that happened to me last semester, I stopped liking people because of the way I was treated by the "nice people" while I was dealing with hell, and since then the way I've been treated by these same people.
I used to be part of a large group of friends, so many people to like. Since then we've been boiled down and distilled, seperated into subgroups and sub-subgroups and now I know the general area in which I stand.
And I'm tired of the stupid games. The talkers. The people who will read my live journal and whisper into the ear of the people who I don't like and who don't like me, trying to stir shit up again. I'm cutting you free. Good bye.
I used to cry every time I lost a friend, every time someone I loved and trusted turned away, every time distance and time seperated us.
I barely blink any more.
~L~