[as dirty as they come]
So once again, Sarah feels like a dirty skank. And this time I really am. I should not do such things with boys that are not my boyfriend. Mind you, I don't have a boyfriend, but the lack of such a person means I should not be doing things with anyone. Oy.
Well, I'm not alone. Ash and Willie screwed in the bedroom. Thats cute. I'll have to change the sheets. Oy. My house is so... debauched. I'm so debauched! We're all going to hell, the lot of us. For our sex and rock 'n roll (There are no drugs, ha!). But at least we'll have fun on the ride there, right?
Nine, three, two, one. Figure that out. Ha!
I really did enjoy it, though. I mean, who wouldn't? Its nice to have that companionship, and a lot of people would argue that not having the committment was even better. And maybe they're correct. What I need isn't committment, really, just... certainty. I'm very uncertain with Josh. I don't really know how he feels or what he wants. I'm just sort of doing whatever. It puts me off quite a bit. I'm just addicted to the availability of his companionship. But I'm not using him, because I do like him and want to make something out of whatever this is. Its just so confusing. And a waiting game. I'm so impatient too...
Why didn't I take the opportunity when I knew I had it?
I know that I said I didn't want a boyfriend. Feelings change. I changed. I want Josh.
Well, I'm not alone. Ash and Willie screwed in the bedroom. Thats cute. I'll have to change the sheets. Oy. My house is so... debauched. I'm so debauched! We're all going to hell, the lot of us. For our sex and rock 'n roll (There are no drugs, ha!). But at least we'll have fun on the ride there, right?
Nine, three, two, one. Figure that out. Ha!
I really did enjoy it, though. I mean, who wouldn't? Its nice to have that companionship, and a lot of people would argue that not having the committment was even better. And maybe they're correct. What I need isn't committment, really, just... certainty. I'm very uncertain with Josh. I don't really know how he feels or what he wants. I'm just sort of doing whatever. It puts me off quite a bit. I'm just addicted to the availability of his companionship. But I'm not using him, because I do like him and want to make something out of whatever this is. Its just so confusing. And a waiting game. I'm so impatient too...
Why didn't I take the opportunity when I knew I had it?
I know that I said I didn't want a boyfriend. Feelings change. I changed. I want Josh.