Just the beginning
I haven't done this in quite some time, and I'm hoping that it turns out to be a somewhat theraputic outlet.
I miss that Kyle and I aren't what we used to be. I feel like we just kind of given up on eachother and now we're just going through the motions of being together. People ask if I still love him; I do and I want things to go back to how it was, back when we both tried and cared about trying to impress the other one. We both just got too comfortable with eachother, and now..I nit-pick and I'm a bitch most of the time; not on purpose, but only because all I want is a hug, or for him to hold my hand. He's not one to show much affection; he never was, but sometimes its all I want. It's all I need to stop giving him attitude. In the midst of all of this, him and I are looking for a house. While at first I was pushing it more and more, the roles have kind of changed. I am very apprehensive about it because I feel like I'll be treated like his maid. I don't want to do his laundry all of the time. I don't want to have to pick up after him, or cook for him or do his dishes. And it's not that I don't want to be nice or help him out; it's more that I don't want him to expect that I'll do all of that. He's 25 years old-he can try and do his laundry once in a while! He claims that things'll be different once we have a place of our own, but I honestly don't see it happening. As much as I want to believe him, how can he suddenly change and actually offer to do EVERYTHING that his mother does for him now? I think this, being in the back of my head at all times, is affecting how we treat eachother as well. It's just..always there. Lingering..I just want us to be how we were.,
And while both of us are in good financial situations at the moment, and can definitely afford a nice place, we're having a hard time agreeing on what we're willing to spend. He thinks that we should be looking for a place that we plan on staying on for a long time. Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to that, but I'd almost rather start off in something small, because quite frankly, the two of us don't need a huge house-there's more of a chance that something can go wrong, or break, or need fixing up, and when we're still new to this, I just think its added stress that we don't need right off of the bat. It's going to be hard enough learning how to live with eachother, learning eachother's little quirks and how to still get along and actually WANT to spend time together even after all of it.
I just want my own place to live-with or without a roommate!
I miss that Kyle and I aren't what we used to be. I feel like we just kind of given up on eachother and now we're just going through the motions of being together. People ask if I still love him; I do and I want things to go back to how it was, back when we both tried and cared about trying to impress the other one. We both just got too comfortable with eachother, and now..I nit-pick and I'm a bitch most of the time; not on purpose, but only because all I want is a hug, or for him to hold my hand. He's not one to show much affection; he never was, but sometimes its all I want. It's all I need to stop giving him attitude. In the midst of all of this, him and I are looking for a house. While at first I was pushing it more and more, the roles have kind of changed. I am very apprehensive about it because I feel like I'll be treated like his maid. I don't want to do his laundry all of the time. I don't want to have to pick up after him, or cook for him or do his dishes. And it's not that I don't want to be nice or help him out; it's more that I don't want him to expect that I'll do all of that. He's 25 years old-he can try and do his laundry once in a while! He claims that things'll be different once we have a place of our own, but I honestly don't see it happening. As much as I want to believe him, how can he suddenly change and actually offer to do EVERYTHING that his mother does for him now? I think this, being in the back of my head at all times, is affecting how we treat eachother as well. It's just..always there. Lingering..I just want us to be how we were.,
And while both of us are in good financial situations at the moment, and can definitely afford a nice place, we're having a hard time agreeing on what we're willing to spend. He thinks that we should be looking for a place that we plan on staying on for a long time. Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to that, but I'd almost rather start off in something small, because quite frankly, the two of us don't need a huge house-there's more of a chance that something can go wrong, or break, or need fixing up, and when we're still new to this, I just think its added stress that we don't need right off of the bat. It's going to be hard enough learning how to live with eachother, learning eachother's little quirks and how to still get along and actually WANT to spend time together even after all of it.
I just want my own place to live-with or without a roommate!