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I'm afraid to post anything of what I'm feeling right now, because if I do you guys will just feel sorry for me and it just feeds my self pity even more. GOD I just feel so... hopeless. I need to post something... I just can't get out of this self-destructive cycle. I say I'm going to change, and then I avoid it. I whine and I cry, then I turn around and don't DO anything about it. I suck... I just need to stop! I don't even know....