Advanced weaponry and when not to use it....
So sometime back Mike and I stumbled on a crashed alien ship.... living in a rural town like we do, these sort of things happen all the time. Voluntown is like that; small rustic towns like this are always the first to be invaded by aliens, over run by the undead, attacked by terrorists, or blown up for no readily concievable reason.
So we salvaged what we could from the wreckage and built a crude plasma launcher rifle. The tricky thing about plasma weaponry is the magnetic rails you have to contain the amunition with; plasma, as you all know, is the stuff stars are made out of, and you really need something strong like a super dense magnetic field to stop it from turning you into a heap of cinders. The finished design we came up with had a cobalt steel finish, hair trigger, and enough plasma cells for 250 low powered shots (or three big ones if its on the hyper slaughter maxi destruction setting). So we tried it out tonight on a passing car and look what happened!
Well, ok, none of the above is true. Sounded cool though did’nt it? I’m big on being cool. I mean look at my profile pic for hells sake!
So this is what really happened.... its kinda boring, and not as cool, but meh, what can ya do?
Mike and I were on our way home with enough red bull to light our heads up like fucking christmas trees; we are talking a cafine dose that could fire my eyes out of my head at the speed of sound.... when we come upon some lady broke down in the middle of the road. Now its dark out, so we cant see much, but there is grey smoke billowing out from every part of the front end....never a good thing no matter what kind of situation your in. Smoke almost always equals = very bad things.
Being the nice guys we are (and we always finish last, more on that latter... :P) we stop to help her out. Thats when the car decides that the roads are to dark, and a little fire might shed some light on it’s surroundings. with a foosh it went up, followed by some bangs as the tires melted enough to burst. The wires in the ignition, probably frightened from the unexpected and unacustomed rise in tempature, melted together, obviously for comfort and saftey in numbers. What this meant on a practical level is that the thier was enough current so that the engine tried starting (with no one in it of course) . This was mildly amusing until the forced ignition began to pump more gasoline into the manifold, something that is beneficial in most situations to start the car..
More gasoline into flames equals what? Yes, a loud KERPOW followed by a cloud of flames. By the time the fire department arrived it was an inferno the likes of which i had never seen, and the sort of sick abstract sculpture that Satan probably keeps in his dinning room.
All said and done it was a fun evening. We gave the lady a ride home, for which we were glad to help. Of course she wanted to listen to the radio, and her choice of music could depress Richard Simmons ..... but hey, at least she was alive.
The whole event has inspired me to build a flamming tennis ball launcher. If the stores in the area start running out of tennis balls, you’ll know I built the thing...
.... And besides, would’nt Tennis be alot more fun if the balls were on fire?
- Tim
So we salvaged what we could from the wreckage and built a crude plasma launcher rifle. The tricky thing about plasma weaponry is the magnetic rails you have to contain the amunition with; plasma, as you all know, is the stuff stars are made out of, and you really need something strong like a super dense magnetic field to stop it from turning you into a heap of cinders. The finished design we came up with had a cobalt steel finish, hair trigger, and enough plasma cells for 250 low powered shots (or three big ones if its on the hyper slaughter maxi destruction setting). So we tried it out tonight on a passing car and look what happened!
Well, ok, none of the above is true. Sounded cool though did’nt it? I’m big on being cool. I mean look at my profile pic for hells sake!
So this is what really happened.... its kinda boring, and not as cool, but meh, what can ya do?
Mike and I were on our way home with enough red bull to light our heads up like fucking christmas trees; we are talking a cafine dose that could fire my eyes out of my head at the speed of sound.... when we come upon some lady broke down in the middle of the road. Now its dark out, so we cant see much, but there is grey smoke billowing out from every part of the front end....never a good thing no matter what kind of situation your in. Smoke almost always equals = very bad things.
Being the nice guys we are (and we always finish last, more on that latter... :P) we stop to help her out. Thats when the car decides that the roads are to dark, and a little fire might shed some light on it’s surroundings. with a foosh it went up, followed by some bangs as the tires melted enough to burst. The wires in the ignition, probably frightened from the unexpected and unacustomed rise in tempature, melted together, obviously for comfort and saftey in numbers. What this meant on a practical level is that the thier was enough current so that the engine tried starting (with no one in it of course) . This was mildly amusing until the forced ignition began to pump more gasoline into the manifold, something that is beneficial in most situations to start the car..
More gasoline into flames equals what? Yes, a loud KERPOW followed by a cloud of flames. By the time the fire department arrived it was an inferno the likes of which i had never seen, and the sort of sick abstract sculpture that Satan probably keeps in his dinning room.
All said and done it was a fun evening. We gave the lady a ride home, for which we were glad to help. Of course she wanted to listen to the radio, and her choice of music could depress Richard Simmons ..... but hey, at least she was alive.
The whole event has inspired me to build a flamming tennis ball launcher. If the stores in the area start running out of tennis balls, you’ll know I built the thing...
.... And besides, would’nt Tennis be alot more fun if the balls were on fire?
- Tim