dance the night away...
If by "night" you mean from the hours of nine p.m. to eleven thirty-seven p.m. ...if that makes any sense at all.
I wore a necklace of pearls to my highschool's Winter Formal on Thursday, and was unable to get them off until five minutes ago because for the effing life of me, I couldn't figure out how to undo the clasp.
But now I feel accomplished.
And tired, because I'm sick. Although that could be because I stayed up until three in the morning chatting with my significant other (and staying hyper, surprisingly; maybe little sleep brings out the best in me?).
I also feel accomplished because I wrote this little angst-fest thing for my highschool's literary magazine.
I believe I titled it "Realization."
Yay me? Here we go...
Of the many innumerable questions to ask yourself, of the many thoughts and feelings to pass through your mind; is there never a time when you have wondered - in a world of liars and murderers and tyrants, of iron-fisted rulers and closed minded ignorance - if change is imminent? If effort and perseverance must, without even the slightest doubt, conclude in a shift of moral or power or thought?
Of those who do not just wonder but also act; how many have ever questioned their motives? How many have turned the tables and, from cause of jealousy or shame or resentment, have desired to prove to themselves that what they do is not immoral?
Of those who question, how many have been twisted enough to selfishly center their own benefit, with their actions manipulated and skewed?
And of those who have lied to themselves, how many have ripped through the fallacy and façade to expose the wretched truth that they hide from even themselves?
Lies are like dread, dread that lies dormant until prompted and pricked when it bubbles to the surface; abounding and wild and cacophonic. Unrestrained and tearing and screaming and demanding that you see it even when you so desperately deny.
You wish you were blinded, ignorant, blissful and unaware; but you cannot resist. Morbid curiosity, uselessly held back by fright, forces you.
(you can do nothing)
Perhaps it is only human nature, while benevolence and talent are so readily clung to and venerated, to expose that which also drastically tears at the soul.
(you are weak)
And it is painful, so very painful, to finally see. It comes slowly, almost unexpectedly, amidst a torrent of other emotions, but it is still there, burning and sour. It hurts. You know it does.
(you are hopeless)
Realization - that is what hurts.
(and whose fault is that?)
Lovely, isn't it...Born out of, I would think, envy. Envy for many many people.
Jealousy is not a healthy emotion unless you can turn it into one, but that is something that I have so far failed to do.
My god, I love this tiny text...
I found the sheet music for "A Concert Paraphrase on Dearly Beloved" from Kingdom Hearts Piano Collections and am currently learning it. If you don't factor in the correct tempo at which it's supposed to be played, it's actually not too hard to figure out (also there's pentameter, which is epic). I knew that eleven years of classical piano training would pay off in the end...
Either that, or playing Bach inventions makes everything easier. Way easier.
...I just realized that I will miss my next Chemistry test (on covalent bonds and empirical formulas) because I'm going to be in California. Hooray for having a stressed life.
Oh and apparently, I am a very pragmatic person.
...somehow, I can blame Kingdom Hearts for this.