(no subject)
i dont care about anything anymore.
thats been my motto for a while and sure its what keeps me happy all the time because nothing will stand in my way.
but something just made me realized ive fucked everything i have ever done and worked for up.
high school has actually ruined my life.
freshman year i hung out with the wrong people and let go of alot of my friends. i started do bad shit and get in trouble alot.
thats when i met pat. we became friends. we went out. i didnt talk to anyone but him and we were obssesive. now its hard to let that all go. esp when you care for someone who could care less that you were hit by a train or off in the middle of the country living in the corner of a train station and that person is not even the same person who used to be your best friend. now hes a fake dick with a fucked up mind possibly psycho but only so he could be happy who only cares about himself and his testosterone. now that everyone that i did have as friends from seymour hate me either because of freshman year or this year. and its true, music is one of the only things that gets me by.
so this is the apology:
its actualy hard for me to do this. im sorry to all of my friends, family, and all you others i have treated like crap the past few years. i realize the mistakes i have made, from drugs to being a shitty gf more than once. of course i know what not to do from now on in the future but this will be the greatest struggle to rebuild. everytime i rebuild i collapse. and its all the same cause. i will not be obssesive, i will not be a jerk, i will not be a 'slut', i will not open up as easy, i will say whatever is on my mind straight up, i will not play games with anyone anymore,i will not be the laura jean i have become anymore, this is the new begginning. but first, i need a miracle. please help?
thats been my motto for a while and sure its what keeps me happy all the time because nothing will stand in my way.
but something just made me realized ive fucked everything i have ever done and worked for up.
high school has actually ruined my life.
freshman year i hung out with the wrong people and let go of alot of my friends. i started do bad shit and get in trouble alot.
thats when i met pat. we became friends. we went out. i didnt talk to anyone but him and we were obssesive. now its hard to let that all go. esp when you care for someone who could care less that you were hit by a train or off in the middle of the country living in the corner of a train station and that person is not even the same person who used to be your best friend. now hes a fake dick with a fucked up mind possibly psycho but only so he could be happy who only cares about himself and his testosterone. now that everyone that i did have as friends from seymour hate me either because of freshman year or this year. and its true, music is one of the only things that gets me by.
so this is the apology:
its actualy hard for me to do this. im sorry to all of my friends, family, and all you others i have treated like crap the past few years. i realize the mistakes i have made, from drugs to being a shitty gf more than once. of course i know what not to do from now on in the future but this will be the greatest struggle to rebuild. everytime i rebuild i collapse. and its all the same cause. i will not be obssesive, i will not be a jerk, i will not be a 'slut', i will not open up as easy, i will say whatever is on my mind straight up, i will not play games with anyone anymore,i will not be the laura jean i have become anymore, this is the new begginning. but first, i need a miracle. please help?