Tenth dance ~ Jume no mai [Forward dated to the 14th | RL with Renji]

[noirnoshirayuki]

[Rukia had been at the head clan's estate for a week now, her will still strong and refusing to move out of her room, not even at the beckoning of the servants or Jii-sama. The days seemed to stretch by, hours blending into one another, her time there meaning Byakuya had not changed his mind on Ichigo or Ggio

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[likeastraydog]

[Every day for the past week, Renji had presented himself at the Kuchiki estate, demanding to see Rukia. Every day, he'd been turned away, told politely but firmly that "Kuchiki-dono isn't accepting any visitors right now", which Renji knew really meant "She doesn't want to see you". He'd tried arguing, ordering, threatening, bribing and even begging, but none of it made a difference. The servants were sympathetic, but immovable. Part of what they were paid for was keeping out riffraff like him.

He couldn't blame Rukia for not wanting to see him. He knew he'd really screwed up this time. No matter how mad he was at Ichigo, he never should have taken it out on her; she deserved better than that. Better than him. All he wanted now was the chance to apologize

[noirnoshirayuki]

[She could hear him. Despite being in her room, despite being away from everyone, she could still hear him. And hearing him made her heart ache. It was ripping her apart, to hear him call for her, and his refusal to budge until she'd come see him.

She didn't want to see him. Seeing him meant she'd break, be weak, it'd prove to others that she wasn't capable of being on her own, like before. Unknowingly, however, her feet were moving forward of their own accord, across the room, to the door, and opening it. She was halfway through the gardens before she realized where she was, or what she was doing.

Her voice was strained, but she spoke regardless.]

Renji...

[likeastraydog]

[At the sound of his name, he fell silent, his angry protests cut off mid-sentence. The sight of her was like a punch to the gut, stealing the air from his lungs and leaving him breathless. It took all the self-control he had not to go to her right then. He had to force himself to stay where he was, clenching his hands into fists to keep from reaching for her.

He'd thought he was prepared to see her, but now that he was here, all the carefully prepared speeches he'd rehearsed that were supposed to make her fall weeping into his arms had flown out of his head. He hated seeing her like this, hated himself for being part of the reason she looked so sad. So hurt.

When he spoke, he couldn't keep the agony out of his voice.]

Rukia.

[noirnoshirayuki]

[She wouldn't run to him, she wouldn't run to him, she wouldn't run to him. The sound of his voice coming to her ears was painful, and she did all that she could to stop herself from moving towards him.

Her voice is firm, unwavering.]

You've seen me. Just go.

[But the look in her eyes betrays her words, and it's clear to see, even for him. They're full of pain, and hurt. She wants him there. She wants him to comfort her, to tell her that even though everything's falling apart, he'll be there for her.

"Stay with me, please."

But her will is stubborn, and she can't say that. Her head is shouting "Go, turn away, and leave him there." But her feet won't move, and she stands there, finally looking downwards and away, trying to hide the truth that's clearly seen in her eyes.]

[likeastraydog]

[When she looks away, he raises one of his hands, reaching for her by habit, before letting it drop back to his side. All he can think is that this is the closest he's been to her in weeks. If he wanted to, he could close the space between them in just a few steps and take her in his arms. But he doesn't. Not yet.]

No.

[He's surprised by how steady his voice sounds. Inside, his stomach is tying itself into nervous knots and he has to resist the urge to throw himself at her feet, pleading for forgiveness, but outside he's calm and determined.

She's still mad at him. He gets it. But he also sees the way she avoids his eyes, trying to hide how much this is hurting her, and he knows that if she really wanted him to go, she would have walked away already. So he stays, and tries to get through her.]

I'm not leaving. Not until you hear me out.

[noirnoshirayuki]

[His answer surprises her, but she holds fast, trying not to let him get through.]

Then say it.

[The words are cold, but they linger on her lips longer then they should, causing a brief passing of doubt to flicker in her eyes. Could she do it? Did she even want to push him away, at a time like this? She couldn't break, she shouldn't bend. Showing him that made her look weak and fragile. She wasn't that, she was a Shinigami. And Shinigami never broke in front of others, especially the ones they loved.]

[likeastraydog]

[Encouraged by the fact she hasn't had him thrown out yet, he takes a step in her direction. Which is probably a bad idea, because once he lets his feet start to move towards her, it's a lot harder than he expected to make himself stop. The effort of doing so makes him grit his teeth in frustration. But as much as he hates it, he knows he's going to have to let her be the one to come to him.]

I'm sorry.

[He practically blurts the apology out, cringing inwardly at how desperate it sounds, but it seems as good a place to start as any. He holds her gaze, his eyes begging her silently to hear the sincerity in his voice. At first the words come awkwardly, and he doesn't even know half of what he's saying, but it becomes easier as he gains momentum, until he's almost tripping over his own words in his need to make her understand....I was an ass, Rukia. I don't blame ya for not wanting to see me. Not after all those things I said. When you told me to apologize to Ichigo, I was pissed off because I thought you were takin' his side. I know

[noirnoshirayuki]

[Each and every word hits her like a ton of bricks, the moment turning out to last for what seems like forever, before he finishes.

There's nothing but a long, drawn-out silence of the servants and the garden at first. His sincerity kills her heart like a knife plunging into her gut, and before she knows it, she's walking towards him. It's only a few steps before she's in front of him, and her face tilts upwards to look directly in his eyes. Her own are brimming with tears, and with that comes a slight and weak smile.]

I'm sorry, too. I... should've thought about what I said, before I said it.

[And she clings to him, hands reaching for something to hold onto, burying her head in his chest. For a moment, she's lost in his warmth, the feeling of him being so close makes her calm down, makes the pain hurt that much less. She's crying, but no sound comes out. Instead, she looks back up at him, tears flowing a bit faster now, but she smiles happily. Any resistance she had before is gone now, she just wants him, and doesn't want to let

[likeastraydog]

[The first thing he feels at her words is surprise, followed by a wave of relief so strong it makes his knees go weak. Gratitude isn't far behind. He doesn't know what he ever did to deserve her, and he's still pretty sure she'd be better off with someone else, but he's not complaining. Not when her fingers are curled in the front of his robe, and she's looking at him with tears in her eyes. Even though she's crying, she looks happy.

All he can do is stare, wide eyed, as she takes his face in her hands. When she asks him to kiss her, her voice soft and pleading, his heart jumps. It's not like her to be this forward - usually he's the one who makes the first move - but he's grateful that she does this time, because he's not sure he would have had the courage to do it otherwise.]

Heh. You don't have to ask twice.

[The words themselves are cocky, but there's a barely hidden tremor to his voice that shows he's not as confident as he pretends to be. Nervously, he lifts his hands, his fingers trembling as he places them lightly at her

[noirnoshirayuki]

[The kiss comes to her lips, and it's light, almost nonexistent. She goes on her tiptoes, pushing herself towards him, letting him know that it's okay to kiss her, while her hands go around his neck and to the bottom of where his hair reaches his head. There, her fingers toy with the loose strands, as she tries to get him to let go, to kiss her like he used to, with fire and passion.

Her heart is beating faster, but she doesn't care at this point. She moves closer to him, letting his arms wrap around her waist a bit more, showing him that she's his, like she said she was.]

[likeastraydog]

[The feel of her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck sends a shiver down his spine, and a low groan escapes him. He wraps his arms around her, pulling her tightly against him, as he ducks his head to kiss her properly. All the uncertainty is gone from his actions now, and the hand that presses against the small of her back is firm. He might not be good with words, but this - holding her, kissing her like he never wants to stop - is instinctive.

His heart is pounding in his ears, so loud that he's sure she must be able to hear it, and all he can think is how small and warm she seems in his arms. She's always so loud and passionate that he forgets sometimes how fragile she really is. It just makes him even more determined to keep her safe, even though he knows she'd yell at him for thinking she needs be protected. Pulling her even closer, he kisses her fiercely, holding nothing back, not caring if anyone is watching. Let the servants report this to her brother if they want. He doesn't care.]

[noirnoshirayuki]

[When he stoops to kiss her properly, her hands move up until they find themselves coming across his hairband. Tugging at the string there, she pulls it loose, allowing his hair to fall down freely, across his face and hers. She doesn't care, though. It's Renji and she loves him and he's kissing her right now so why should she care about anything and-

A soft moan escapes her lips as he passionately responds to her, her mouth trying to keep up with his, her body so close to his she's sure he could mistake her heartbeat for his own. For all who were watching, it didn't matter to her at the moment. Everything was lost as she was held in his arms, and being kissed like it were their last day.]

[likeastraydog]

[His loose hair tickles his face, getting in the way, but he ignores it. There are other things to think about. Like the warmth of her mouth, and the way her body is pressed so closely to his (but not close enough, part of him objects), and the breathy little moan she makes that sends his mind blank and causes him to tighten his hold on her reflexively.

It takes every ounce of self-control he has left to break the kiss, dragging his lips away from hers with physical effort. His breathing is unsteady, and he leans his forehead against hers, keeping his eyes closed as he tries to slow his racing heart. As much as he'd like to keep kissing her and just forget everything else, if they're going to continue this, he'd rather they did it somewhere else, without an audience.]

...I missed you so damn much, Rukia.