i'm so fucking upset
ok, so today has been just like any other day. meetings and office hours and basically just crap. then i'm talking with sean (he's in a bunch of my math classes and we were in the ta office togetehr) passing the time when he mentions that he's doing the combined bs/ms program. i was surprised because we've had a lot of the same math classes and i didn't remember him taking any grad courses before the one that we're taking together. so i asked if he had signed up for it junior year, and he says no. he talked to gowda over the break and asked and gowda said sure. no prob. all i could muster as a response was oh, really. then i'm thinking i know in the beginning of last semester i e-mailed gowda twice and had a meeting with him and he told me that it wouldn't be possible for me to sign up for the bs/ms program in the beginning of senior year. that it was too late. he told ME that i would have to stay at this school for another 2 fucking years if i wanted to get my master's. so now i'm wondering why the hell would he just let sean sign up for it in the middle of fucking winter break when he told me that the beginning of senior year would be too late. maybe i'm wrong but the last time i checked winter break comes after 1st semester. i'm guessing he didn't give sean the damn speech about all the paper work and i should have signed up in the beginning of junior year, it's just NOT possible. now i'm trying to rationalize this. i mean sean is much smarter than me, and is more vocal also but it's not like gowda would know that just looking at our transcripts because with the exception of last semester we pretty much have the same grades in all our math classes. we're both in pi mu epsilon, we both ta, and like i've said already we've basically taken the same fucking classes. or perhaps i don't have all of the information. maybe sean has taken more math classes than me; it's not like i have his transcript in front of me. maybe he had gowda as a prof once so gowda feels more comfortable letting him into the bs/ms program because he knows the type of work he can do. i'm still really upset though. i mean u of iowa and duke feel like i'm good enough for their graduate programs, but umbc's master's program is too good for me? whatever. i can't wait to leave this place.