fock! ass!
so.. um... ranting.
so, we've all been giving presentations in design this week. i gave mine on monday. granted, i was nervous as FUCK and had a pound of caffiene in me and four hours of sleep, but i still think i did alright. 'specially considering i was doing the speech all cold turkey, being that i didn't have time to actually figure out what i was going to say. but i did a good job. it was alright.
more than that, i liked my design. i did. and then i see everyone else's... christy's, as usual, is the best, and is super awesome, and she threw everything together in two days because her computer exploded. and she's god's gift to design. sure. whatever. beth's looks rockin', and the only problems with it are pixelation. john's is also really good, 'cept for his magazine ad. and, well, i won't talk about brittany's... good, but at about 300-level. (we're 400-level). and, so, when jp's talking about brittany's stuff, he's talking about focusing on your demographic, and he remembers christy's and beth's and john's and anna's. but does he remember mine? NO. no, he fucking doesn't. yeah, no, i know you're busy, and that i was the first to go, but if you can't remember mine, one in six, than i think that flunks me as a designer. yeah. thanks.
see, recently (as in, the last three months), i've been having what i might term a "crisis of faith." faith in myself, in my skill, in my work, everything. and the fact the jp very rarely ever gives me any clue as to whether my designs are any good doesn't help. he says i have great typography. well, shit, a trained monkey given half a chance can have good typography. in general, tho, my designs are bland as hell. not eye-catching. not interesting. and no, i don't mean just this project, i mean every project we've had so far.
which = next year have no money. because who the hell wants to hire a crappy designer? oh, i know, tiny companies that won't give you jack shit in wages. which i could've gotten without shelling out the $60,000 needed for these five years.
so, um, yeah... WHY THE FUCK DID I EVEN FUCKING BOTHER??
someone shoulda told me that i didn't stand a bat's chance in this fucking profession, so i coulda been in sculpture, or drawing, or something like that, and be expecting no money. and, YES, money IS important, because i need to pay off student loans, pay for rent, food, insurance, etc. and i'll be damned if i move in with my parents.
i guess i'll just have to work for small companies who don't know any better, and will pay me charmingly quaint wages.
also, i'd like to send out a big ol' "fuck you" to dining services. jeff (management rooster) calls my parents' house the day before sign-ups begin for the bistro for spring and j-term. i don't get the message until the next morning, at 8:15. i drag my ass out of bed, head over there, and find out that somehow, everyone else has mostly already signed up. damnit, i was only an hour and a half later than the first chance to sign up! how the hell does that work? also, jeff thought that he'd just sign me up for j-term, and in fact, would sign away my weekends for me. how nice of him. i'm e-mailing him after this, being that he never called me back, and saying that i'm declining the weekend shifts because he never consulted me on this. bastard. goddamnit jeff, i've been a good worker for four years, and this is how you treat me? making me work all weekend long? jackass.
molly wanna cry. stupid fucking college, why the hell do i even bother working so damn hard when this is fruit of all my toils?
*sniffle, whimper, feels sorry for herself because she's lame*
so, we've all been giving presentations in design this week. i gave mine on monday. granted, i was nervous as FUCK and had a pound of caffiene in me and four hours of sleep, but i still think i did alright. 'specially considering i was doing the speech all cold turkey, being that i didn't have time to actually figure out what i was going to say. but i did a good job. it was alright.
more than that, i liked my design. i did. and then i see everyone else's... christy's, as usual, is the best, and is super awesome, and she threw everything together in two days because her computer exploded. and she's god's gift to design. sure. whatever. beth's looks rockin', and the only problems with it are pixelation. john's is also really good, 'cept for his magazine ad. and, well, i won't talk about brittany's... good, but at about 300-level. (we're 400-level). and, so, when jp's talking about brittany's stuff, he's talking about focusing on your demographic, and he remembers christy's and beth's and john's and anna's. but does he remember mine? NO. no, he fucking doesn't. yeah, no, i know you're busy, and that i was the first to go, but if you can't remember mine, one in six, than i think that flunks me as a designer. yeah. thanks.
see, recently (as in, the last three months), i've been having what i might term a "crisis of faith." faith in myself, in my skill, in my work, everything. and the fact the jp very rarely ever gives me any clue as to whether my designs are any good doesn't help. he says i have great typography. well, shit, a trained monkey given half a chance can have good typography. in general, tho, my designs are bland as hell. not eye-catching. not interesting. and no, i don't mean just this project, i mean every project we've had so far.
which = next year have no money. because who the hell wants to hire a crappy designer? oh, i know, tiny companies that won't give you jack shit in wages. which i could've gotten without shelling out the $60,000 needed for these five years.
so, um, yeah... WHY THE FUCK DID I EVEN FUCKING BOTHER??
someone shoulda told me that i didn't stand a bat's chance in this fucking profession, so i coulda been in sculpture, or drawing, or something like that, and be expecting no money. and, YES, money IS important, because i need to pay off student loans, pay for rent, food, insurance, etc. and i'll be damned if i move in with my parents.
i guess i'll just have to work for small companies who don't know any better, and will pay me charmingly quaint wages.
also, i'd like to send out a big ol' "fuck you" to dining services. jeff (management rooster) calls my parents' house the day before sign-ups begin for the bistro for spring and j-term. i don't get the message until the next morning, at 8:15. i drag my ass out of bed, head over there, and find out that somehow, everyone else has mostly already signed up. damnit, i was only an hour and a half later than the first chance to sign up! how the hell does that work? also, jeff thought that he'd just sign me up for j-term, and in fact, would sign away my weekends for me. how nice of him. i'm e-mailing him after this, being that he never called me back, and saying that i'm declining the weekend shifts because he never consulted me on this. bastard. goddamnit jeff, i've been a good worker for four years, and this is how you treat me? making me work all weekend long? jackass.
molly wanna cry. stupid fucking college, why the hell do i even bother working so damn hard when this is fruit of all my toils?
*sniffle, whimper, feels sorry for herself because she's lame*