(no subject)
Today was perfect...
i got to see jordan before school
and after school
..i got to be with him... it makes me extremly happy..
until now...
i dont like keeping things from my mom..
so i slowly tell her things
but she just jumps down my throat
shes so f'ing judgemental and i hate it.. i f'ing hate it... it just makes me wanna get in my car and go to jordans cuz i know his dad wouldnt care. Why cant my mom just f'in see i love him... if she had any clue how much i did then she wouldnt be doing this to me... i hate it.. i cant even explain it. I love him so much...no one even knows... i am addicted to him, iam sad until i hear his voice, when i leave him i could cry....
its just so unfair, and i know lifes unfair but i really dont know what to do. He's a really good guy.... but she'll never even take the time to hear me. She knows its bugging me. i cryed on the way home, and iam not talking, and iam just flat out sick, i cant bring myself to eat.
i dont know whats wrong with me.
i just pray that one day she'll see what i see in him.
i love him.... theres no words to even describe it.... just love ... and everything that goes behind that word....
he's the nicest any guy has ever been to me, he calls me beautiful, would do anything for me, calls me when he doesnt really have the time just to check up on me, when i leave him he tells me to drive safe cuz he couldnt bare to loose me, he ... i just cant even say it all cuz i dont know how.
My mom comes and says to try her... tell her why iam upset...i told her she'd never understand, i know she wouldnt...she said he was just a loser.
it hurts
it hurts alot.
i just wish it was tomorrow morn so i could look in his wonderful big brown eyes and tell him i love him.
...its took me 8 months for my feelings to catch up to my body...
and everyone else i've loved... i have loved... but i just cant be with out jordan.... its sad... its sappy... and i know iam only 16.
but iam in love.
and damnit i dont care what people say.
And just let her cry, if the tears fall down like rain, and let her sing, if it eases all her pain