(no subject)
so i guess i feel torn. maybe not torn, prehaps, maybe scattered. or not scattered, but pulled, urged in different directions. well, maybe im seeing it wrong. maybe theyre just.. showing me each a part of their world, my friends. thats what it seems closest too i guess. with each person i can be something completely different, well, per say. i can paint and sit in a haze of smoke, or talk about stocks. or perhaps analyze nietzche then scour the house. ya know, i guess im in a limbo. ive finished a year of school and for the first time out my soon-to-be bedroom window i dont hear mariachi music. i have someone to cuddle with, someone to talk to, someone to watch endless hours of sex and the city and big love with me, but where do i become myself? how am i not myself?, he once asked. once! ha! it was a monologue of those words. but honestly, where does one become themselves? in between classes and work and cleaning and art and parties and sex and friends and love and comfort and eating and drinking and being god damn merry, where does one become their true being?