(no subject)
aright lJ heres whatsup..keeping secrets is probably one of the hardest thigns for me to do in my LIFE especially when its a secret like this. not only that but because of my secret "thing" as amanda calls it, i cant even really LJ about it or DIARYLAND about it...and its SO hard because secrets like these are the ones that eat you up inside and you wanna discuss with somebody so badly but you just cant becuase you know that thats just NOT A GOOD THING. so you keep it all inside. like what im doing now. i mean ok so yes kayce knows but shes my bitch for lIFE and then crust knows but thats just cause we're experiencing the same shock/reality and well stacy knows but she runs her mouth too damn much so no im not tellin her much. and then...welll... lorraine knows but honestly if i mentioned it to her she'd prolly not know what i was talking about because she tends to not remember these things. and heres the thing. i really really wanna talk to her about this but i just know i cant. WHY? well i dont wanna burden her with all this "excess baggage" and also it was sooo akward telling her to begin with, that i didnt ever wanna experience that again. the LOOK on her face when i told her... well i would say priceless if it were a good thing. but it was more like a "whoa too much at one time are you kidding me" type look. and not only that...why does she wanna hear about my problems? yea ok so she vents to me about certain "males" in her life ( i put that in quotes cause i believe they're just simple pussys) and I SO BADLY wanna vent back about whats going on in my life. bUT IM GOING TO STAY STRONG AND NOT. because thatd just be bad. i dont want people to know so i dont even know why im rambling on about this its just how i feel. I HATE having secrets, theres so much weighing my shoulders down, and i dunno i just hate when my friends say so how was your summer and i cant even BEGIN to tell them how it actually was...so i tell them wat i tell everyone "it was good...LOTSA basketball.." and continue on without ever mentioning the "other thing". and amanda, im sorry that i am so ambiguous but im not quite sure what else to do here.
well i thought i was done and i had submitted this thing but then i came back becasue i decided i could just talk and talk about this thing foreve becasue i am SO DAMN CONFUSED AND LOST AND DAZED AND I JUST NEED SOMEONE SO BADLY TO TALK TO SO BADLY. as u can see im begging actually on the verge of tears. i need a shrink. OMG I THINK I MISS MS. MERMELSTEIN ok so when i go back to school im going to her PRONTO and telling her everything. thats better right? yes why yes it is. at least i can halfway talk to amanda. shes great!
ok u know wat i really need to stop talkin bout this so lets talk about last night n how i hung with BO MY NEW FRIEND and ALDEN and LD and AMANDA AKA A SLICE OF... ahah that was so much fun without a paddle is GREAT and then i saw HAKIM and ate LOTSA FOOD LIKE A FATTY AT CLUCK U...they're just so damn good.
ok nope not done.
i just miss someone SO MUCH i really need my license so i can go see them and be happy again. not that im not happy cause i talk to them all the time but i just miss them alot and really need to get my damn LICENSE. ok well what else is there to say...i love alicia keys so much her song diary is the best especially the live one.
u know, i need a mani pedi and an eyebrow wax. thatd be refreshing.
-NoN_DaRry (it wAS Oh SO clOSE).
maybe i should sign my name somethin like how im feelin
-Conf_USED (will thIS evER ENd?!)
U KNOW WHAT, HOW BOUT YOU PEOPLE LEAVE ME A NOTE AND TELL ME..WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD A HUGE AS SECRET AND WANNA TELL BUT YOU CANT...HOW DO YOU DEAL?!
ok and now im really OUt.
well i thought i was done and i had submitted this thing but then i came back becasue i decided i could just talk and talk about this thing foreve becasue i am SO DAMN CONFUSED AND LOST AND DAZED AND I JUST NEED SOMEONE SO BADLY TO TALK TO SO BADLY. as u can see im begging actually on the verge of tears. i need a shrink. OMG I THINK I MISS MS. MERMELSTEIN ok so when i go back to school im going to her PRONTO and telling her everything. thats better right? yes why yes it is. at least i can halfway talk to amanda. shes great!
ok u know wat i really need to stop talkin bout this so lets talk about last night n how i hung with BO MY NEW FRIEND and ALDEN and LD and AMANDA AKA A SLICE OF... ahah that was so much fun without a paddle is GREAT and then i saw HAKIM and ate LOTSA FOOD LIKE A FATTY AT CLUCK U...they're just so damn good.
ok nope not done.
i just miss someone SO MUCH i really need my license so i can go see them and be happy again. not that im not happy cause i talk to them all the time but i just miss them alot and really need to get my damn LICENSE. ok well what else is there to say...i love alicia keys so much her song diary is the best especially the live one.
u know, i need a mani pedi and an eyebrow wax. thatd be refreshing.
-NoN_DaRry (it wAS Oh SO clOSE).
maybe i should sign my name somethin like how im feelin
-Conf_USED (will thIS evER ENd?!)
U KNOW WHAT, HOW BOUT YOU PEOPLE LEAVE ME A NOTE AND TELL ME..WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD A HUGE AS SECRET AND WANNA TELL BUT YOU CANT...HOW DO YOU DEAL?!
ok and now im really OUt.