(no subject)
update: i had the most fun this summer in washington with kyle. we got caught in the rain and walked miles and ate really good food. i love it there. i hung out with mel a lot, and worked a lot, and went to school a lot, and shopped a lot.
i thought i was ready to go back to school but now that i'm here i'm not. i dont like my roommates i dont like the location i dont like that i'm the only that cleans i dont like that they yell at me sometimes. i'm not 'one of the guys' and i dont want to smoke weed all the time. i have homework to do and good grades to earn and parents to make proud.
i miss home, my parents, my cat, peoria. and i know i dont have very many friends there and that i didnt hang out a lot this summer but that's home. this isn't home. people use my bathroom a lot and i have to sleep with ear plugs in. it always smells like pot and i'm the only one that knows how to use a dishwasher. i dont eat anymore because i dont know how to cook, but i'm not hungry either.
i'm turning into the person i'm going to be, and i dont know if i like that melanie yet. i'm so high strung and focused, i think i need to balance more. who knows, who cares. life goes on, time moves forward whether you want it to or not, things come at you without notice. i need to learn how to deal.
listen to me whine. l8r everyone.