(no subject)
I watched my grandfather die in the hospital. He had Parkinson's, and we knew for a while that it was going to kill him.
It had already been a while since he lost the ability to speak and generally care for himself. My grandmother had been putting his meals in the blender for some time when she had a severe stroke and wasn’t able to care for herself, let alone him.
Wouldn't you know - Granddad started talking again! It had been years and he turned into a god damned chatter box; it was great. Through some mystery of the human body, he got better and started caring for himself. I'd like to think that it was his way of supporting his wife - taking the burden of her worry and freeing us up to care for her.
When my grandmother was able to speak again, start being her own person again - granddad spiraled into his Parkinson's. It was fucking quick - like a great wave crashing into the sand. Once again, he was unable to speak. His job was done, she was ok. He was out.
The doctors called and said "today's the day. If you have family get them, this is happening now."
All the docs could do was to make him comfortable - gradually increase the Ativan until his body was comfortable enough to let go.
We gathered. I watched my father call his brothers and sisters that were too far to make it. I watched my father, strong as stone and just as stoic hold a phone to my grandfather’s ear as the rest of the children said their goodbyes.
I only remember one call. My uncle - the youngest, estranged, and the only one to carry the bloodline. I watched my grandfather’s face as he cried and struggled to make a sound - any sound. I saw the light of recognition burn him so deep. In that moment he knew exactly where he was, what was happening - and he knew that he was absolutely unable to say goodbye to his one true child.
He was a great man. He served his country in the second great war. He married a woman, adopted her abandoned children, and raised them as his own. I don't share his blood, but i wear his name as a badge of honor.