FIC: Embargo
Squeaking in under the wire here! My neurotic self and multiple checks maketh not for an very punctual me.
Title: Embargo
Author: furor_scribiend
Rating: NC-17
Format: A
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Warnings: Smut, smut and a heaping side order of smutty hotness.
Disclaimer: Yeah, don’t own Stargate Atlantis. *sniffle*
Summary: When the condom supply on Atlantis dries up, Rodney’s “sexual embargo” begins until the Daedalus arrives. And then he realizes what he’s gotten himself into.
Notes: Written for noglove_nolove challenge. And I tried something new: this is partially narrative, partially journal entries.
7/8/06
This is not good. I could have had lots of mind-blowing sex last night.
And did I? No. Why?
John. Forgot. The. Condoms.
He says he’s got plenty. He’d better remember them tonight or I’ll kill him.
________________________________________________
Rodney sighed and scrubbed at his face wearily. Today had been particularly nasty, with a small power crisis that he narrowly averted. All he wanted at the moment was to leave this damn lab, but John had said to not go wandering around. Rodney wasn’t against staying put if it meant making up for last night’s lack of activities.
When the lab door opened, he looked up to find John walking in. He felt elation surge through him, but it drained away immediately when he saw the look on John’s face.
“What is it?” Rodney demanded bluntly.
John paused in front of Rodney’s work station. “There’s a small problem…” he began, rubbing the back of his head.
________________________________________________
8/8/06 - aka Day 1 (-20)
No hot, mind-blowing sex last night either. Why?
Because, despite assurances of there being plenty last night, John discovered that he has no condoms left.
Absolutely none.
And it doesn’t help that the lone one that I have is almost twenty years past its damn expiry date.
The Daedalus doesn’t arrive for another three weeks.
So I’ve stopped sexual activities until those damned condoms arrive. John agrees with me and says he’ll look into finding some in the meanwhile.
If there’s no glove, then there’s no love.
… Why does that really sound like a demented Barry White sound clip?
________________________________________________
Rodney frowned as he looked over the calculations for the experiment that Radek was setting up. He didn’t bother to look up when the door slid open, but he did when a shadow came to stop in front of his desk.
“Yes?” Rodney didn’t bother to keep the testiness from his voice.
“Feel like doing something tonight?”
Rodney didn’t answer for a moment. “Such as?”
“How about a movie or two?” John offered.
“Fine, that’s fine.” Rodney went back to his calculations. “I’ll come find you when I’m done tonight.”
“Okay; I’ll bring the popcorn.”
John gave him an easy smile before walking from the room. Rodney stared after him, vaguely wondering if that was really such a good idea.
________________________________________________
9/8/06 - Day 2 (-19)
If I ever decide to ease up on sex again, I am never watching movies alone with John.
The man is a subconscious cuddler. I’m perfectly fine in my own little space and next thing I know, it’s almost an hour into the movie and John’s right beside me, with an arm over my shoulder.
And you know what else? He shouldn’t smell so good either. Or wear those jeans. Or that polo shirt. I didn’t even know he had a polo shirt. And it’s just my luck he looks so damn good in it.
It also didn’t help that Mr ‘I-Don’t-Cuddle’ has this habit of stroking my shoulder with his fingers when we’re alone.
Why is it everything he decides to do when we’re alone practically screams, “Let’s fuck right now!” And I know that not just my neurotic subconscious reading far too much into things.
Nineteen more days until the Daedalus arrives.
If there is a higher benevolent force out there, I hope it lets John find someone who can spare some condoms.
________________________________________________
Rodney hated the cafeteria workers sometimes. Every time they opted to make lemon chicken, they only offered one other dish that was almost revolting to look at. This time it was sloppy joes, and the meat looked sicklier than Kusanagi after a whiff of sulphur fumes. And the Cesar salad would have been edible had it not been drowned in far too much cheese and dressing.
He stood there looking over the selection when his radio crackled to life.
“McKay, I need to see you.” John’s voice sounded in his ear.
“I’m kind of busy now,” Rodney began to reply. “So -”
“No McKay,” John sounded urgent. “In my office, now. As in right now.”
Rodney slid his tray back on top of the others as he turned his radio off and left the cafeteria. Rodney knew John had an office somewhere in Atlantis; he just never really pictured him being in it willingly, unless it was to write up mission reports.
It didn’t take him long to get to John’s office and walk in unannounced. John as leaning against the desk, with his arms crossed. Rodney knew that this couldn’t be good.
“Okay,” Rodney began, sounding slightly annoyed. “What’s the problem?”
“There’s none.”
Rodney blinked and watched John as those words sank in, slowly and surely. It took a bit longer before his brain decided to reconnect to his tongue.
“What? I don’t think I heard you quite right.”
John looked pained, like he was facing an impending eruption worse than the one on Taranis. “There’s none.”
________________________________________________
10/8/06 - Embargo, Day 3(-18)
There isn’t a single condom in the entire city.
John asked everyone possible. And I do mean everyone. Apparently Carson didn’t ask anything, but raised an eyebrow. I’ll bet anything that Carson’s figured it out about me and John. I wonder if I can delay my next physical indeterminately.
But the point of no condoms equals this: no sex at all, of any sort, for the next eighteen days and counting.
Given recent circumstances around Atlantis, it was a long while before John and slept together. And that was before the Wraith were coming to Atlantis for the second time. I was antsy before that. And that was at least two and a half months ago.
I’m not sexually driven for the most part, but it’s nice to have sex. Especially when you really, really, really want it.
And I really, really, really want it. Now. As in right now.
What I, with my brains, have managed to do was land my libido right in the middle of a sexual embargo.
Yes, that’s right. An embargo. On all sex. An Embargo - and yes, it damned well merits capitalisation - on sex. With John.
You’re fucking brilliant McKay.
________________________________________________
“Rodney?”
Rodney looked up from his computer to see John coming into his office. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and put his stylus down. The past three days had been hell; the cloak had been causing some power fluctuations, and they were still working on fixing it, with moderate success. Some parts of the city were prone to just lose power altogether. Rodney really had no time to see John now.
“What is it?” he asked.
“You busy?”
Rodney looked at John for a long moment before he rubbed his eyes. Why did John insist on asking the stupidest questions sometimes? Of course he was busy; trying to restore power to the city was crucial. John knew that.
He jumped a bit when he felt hands on his knees. His eyes opened to find John crouching down in front of him. Rodney just looked at him; what the hell was John up to?
“You need to relax a bit more.”
All Rodney did was make a choked sound of disbelief as John nuzzled his clothed crotch. He moved his hands to John’s head, intent on pushing him away, but then John opened his mouth and breathed heavily. There was hot, humid air moving through the cloth of his uniform pants and surrounding his cock. And his cock was happily responding to the attention.
His hands fisted in John’s hair, tufts of the unruly, soft strands poking between his fingers. John’s hands were sliding up his thigh, squeezing slightly every so often. Rodney slid down further in the chair, spreading his legs wider. John moved in closer, moving one of Rodney’s lower legs between his.
Rodney moved his leg up further, feeling an erection press against his shin. John was getting off on this as much as he was. He pressed his shin in more and started rubbing it against John’s clothed erection.
A breathless sort groan came from John and his fingers tightened on Rodney’s thigh, close to his cock. Rodney pushed his hips upwards, and John responded with the hard pressure of his tongue, followed by the scrape of teeth.
It was Rodney’s turn to groan. The steady, yielding pressure of John’s tongue made him writhe a bit, and the hard scrape of teeth through the cloth made him hope that John wasn’t going to draw this out for too long; his heart was pounding so hard, it would probably explode if this went on any longer.
John was now moving his hips steadily against Rodney’s shin, and the motion and pressure made Rodney press his shin harder against John’s erection. The office was filled with the sounds of heavy breathing and cloth rustling.
Rodney knew he would soon be done the moment John’s other hand slid up his thigh quickly. It came to a rest at the juncture between thigh and hip, just like the other one. And both hands started squeezing in tandem, while John started with his tongue once more.
The orgasm didn’t hit Rodney full force. It stole over him, like a seemingly gentle wave. He could feel his toes curling and uncurling in his boots, feel it in the way his muscles started to stiffen up. And when it finally made its way through his body, it seemed like he was thrumming with an orgasm teetering right on the brink. And when one of John’s hands covered his erection and squeezed, he went tumbling down, his entire body seeming to center on John’s lingering attention to his cock.
Rodney was attempting to focus his vision, and felt barely coherent as John stiffened against his shin. John rested against Rodney’s knee a moment later. Rodney could feel John’s heartbeat slow down and his breathing evening out.
“That’s your idea of relaxing?” Rodney asked.
John looked up at him. “You aren’t relaxed?”
“That’s not the point!” Rodney spluttered a moment later.
John chuckled, the vibrations felt on Rodney’s knee. “Well, look at it this way…”
And Rodney knew that whatever John said next, it would piss him off, because it was entirely right and true.
________________________________________________
13/8/06 - Embargo, Day 6 (-16)
I don’t think it should even be called an embargo any longer. Not since John decided to give me a pseudo-blowjob in my office.
Though, according to him, it’s something to take my mind off the fact there’s nothing else I’ll let him do. You know if he wants to say things like that, fine. But he shouldn’t do it, while looking like he’s gotten away on a technicality. And with the most annoying smug grin too.
Heavy petting is something I try to avoid because it has a bad habit of leading to more. And if I have any more heavy petting sessions with John, I won’t make it until the Daedalus comes back.
And if I try to avoid him, he’ll get pissy with me. Amusing as that is, it takes a lot of work to make John happy again. And forget the reason why he was pissy with you in the first place.
… But maybe he needs a dose of his own tactics
________________________________________________
There were times that Rodney absolutely hated going off world. Namely, he hated it when the situation and mission went right to pot from the start.
This particular mission was supposed to be about making allies with a people known as the Odaba. Unfortunately the Wraith had gotten there first, and the planet was crawling with them. The Wraith had been quick to cut them off from the gate and drive them away from it. The past five days had been spent hiding, running, and scraping together enough food for the four of them. When they finally got back to Atlantis, it was definitely worse for wear and fairly sleep-deprived.
Rodney knew he probably owed Ronon, Teyla and John his life. All he’d been able to do was predict the Wraith search pattern and nothing else really. John, Ronon and Teyla did all the fighting if they ran into a small contingent, usually of five Wraiths. And when their bullets ran out, it was all hand-to-hand. All Rodney could do was swing a heavy branch around madly and hope that it would knock the Wraith out.
Because that invariably happened; one of the Wraiths would quickly clue into the fact that Rodney wasn’t fighting and would go after him. And it was usually John that came to the rescue.
Apparently Ronon and Teyla caught onto the fact pretty quickly. And when their physicals were done and they’d gotten a decent amount of sleep, Ronon and Teyla had managed to corner him. Teyla had been meaning to say something subtle but Ronon broke that when he bluntly said, “If you fuck him up, I hurt you. Got it?”
All Rodney had done was nod his head. What the hell could he say to such an overt threat like that coming from Ronon? For that matter, what exactly could he do to Ronon? Teyla had tried to soften Ronon’s words, but it didn’t have quite the same effect. But Rodney was glad for the fact that they had down time from Elizabeth, and reinforced by Carson’s recommendation for a few days off.
But he knew that he couldn’t allow a situation like that to happen again. And that was precisely the reason why he was looking for John now. When he found him, it was finally in the practice room. He could hear the sounds of sparring from inside, and when the door slid open, he saw John and Teyla sparring.
Teyla had just missed a hit from John, and noticed him in the doorway. Her stance relaxed and she moved out of John’s range.
“It seems Dr McKay wishes to speak to you. I shall leave you two alone.”
And before he, or John, could say anything Teyla had walked from the room. Rodney stepped inside, lingering by the door as it closed. John had walked over to his towel and was wiping away some sweat.
“So, what did you want Rodney?” he asked.
Rodney knew he shouldn’t have been staring at John’s forearms. “Self-defence, I want to learn self-defence. You know… the stuff that you do.”
John looked back at him quizzically for a moment before he shrugged. “All right then.”
Rodney moved into the center of the room, as John tossed his towel down. “So what do I do?”
“Well, what I know is the result of basic military training, and further study. I’m guessing you want to learn something quicker than has visible results.”
“So I’m not attempting to brain Wraith with a tree branch, yeah.” Rodney was wondering if he bit off more than he could chew here.
John was scrutinising him for a moment. “I could teach you Krav Maga.”
“Teach me what?” Rodney asked. “That sounds like something you eat.”
“Krav Maga is the combat defence used by the Israeli special forces.”
“The Air Force taught you that?”
“I took a course on some down time.”
Rodney decided to not press it farther when John refused to elaborate any further.
“By all rights, I shouldn’t be teaching you,” John rubbed his chin for a moment. “Conflict of interest. But I don’t think you want to learn from the only other person qualified to teach it.”
“And that is…?”
“Sergeant Bates.”
“Rather not. So,” Rodney rubbed his hands together. “Are we going to get started?”
________________________________________________
19/8/06 - Embargo, Day 12 (-10)
Krav Maga is… interesting. Of course, I wasn’t expecting a lecture on the stuff for almost three hours. Anatomy, I can understand needing. But on why that Lichtenfeld guy created it, no. I just need to use it.
And the one thing that John decided to teach me, I failed at horribly. And managed to turn it into a dry humping session.
Yes, my libido is taking what it can get during this ever failing embargo.
John moved in to do something - I can’t recall at all. I, being my usual, brilliant self in a situation like that, did something utterly stupid, and we both end up tripping and falling to the floor. John had managed to wrap his arms around my forearms and stop me from doing practically anything else.
And I know John wasn’t thinking it, but his legs almost wrapped around my waist. Having his legs around my thighs does nothing to help my ever-eager libido.
I really wanted to get out of that hold John had me in. Except the only part that I could really move were my hips.
All that five minutes of trying to escape resulted in was one eager John beneath me, which doesn’t happen very often.
And then he kissed me. I know, it’s the stupidest thing we’ve ever done: kissing in the practice room, where anyone could have walked in and seen us like that. That would mean a final au revoir to Atlantis for the both of us and John kissing his military career goodbye.
And something else interesting I’ve discovered: John is, in all likelihood, a pushy, aggressive bottom.
The last time we were together, he was attentive and slow. And being the complete alpha and insisting on topping (even if it was subconsciously). It was great, don’t get me wrong. But today, John was pushy, greedy and just… wild. I think my ass still has claw marks from when he grabbed it and humped against me until he came.
And he bites. How the hell does he expect me to hide the bite mark on neck without making it look obvious? I did him the courtesy of not leaving a mark.
Huh; pushy, greedy and just wild. I wonder if John thinks the same thing of me when I want it.
________________________________________________
Rodney didn’t particularly like Krav Maga at the moment. It seemed to consist mainly of him messing up and John almost always stopping him. But while it was highly infuriating that it was taking him so long to grasp the basics, he knew he had to stick with it. He should learn to protect his own intellect for the simple fact that if he ever got separated from the team by enemies during a mission, he was, in all probability, screwed.
“Rodney, you’re not paying attention.”
Rodney focused his attention back at John’s quiet tone. Right, he was supposed to focus on deflecting John’s attack. He should be able to do this. John had spent their six days of down time, trying to drill stuff into his head. Rodney completely understood it; theoretically speaking. His body seemed to have other plans, and they involved not co-operating.
“Okay, now, I’m going to come at you,” John said. “All you have to do is try to stop me.”
Rodney nodded his head, and then it seemed as if John was coming straight at him. His mind was running through the moves that John showed him, but his limbs seemed almost leaden. But when John’s hands started coming up, clearly aiming for his throat, it seemed that Rodney’s brain suddenly snapped into complete takeover mode and his limbs responded.
John’s hands had just come to rest on his neck and Rodney’s hands came up to pull them away. He pulled on hand back and went to smack John in the neck, except his palm came down open.
When John recoiled away with a wince, Rodney almost paused. But then his brain decided to bark back John’s words to him: don’t stop; keep going until the person is neutralised and you can get away safely. So Rodney brought his knee up, intent on making contact with John’s padded crotch, but hit John’s knee instead. John went partially down and Rodney let go of the one hand he was still holding onto and pushed John away.
“I did it!” Rodney crowed triumphantly.
“Yeah, you did.” John agreed as he stood back up.
Rodney frowned since there was a rather amused grin on John’s face. “What now?”
“An open palm to the neck?” John asked.
“It worked.” Rodney retorted.
“Can’t argue with that.”
Rodney’s frown turned into a scowl when he realised John was holding back laughter. “You know, the one time that I don’t screw up is not the time to be laughing at me.”
John walked in closer to him and gave him a gentle kiss. “You did good Rodney,”
Rodney huffed, and felt marginally appeased by that.
“But you’re supposed to chop, not smack.”
________________________________________________
25/8/06 - Embargo, Day 18 (-4)
Okay, only four more days until the Daedalus arrives. And John’s been a shit for pushing my buttons whenever he can get away with it.
But I can make it. I can make it without pseudo-blowjobs and dry humping like a hormonal teenager.
I can make it. I can. I know I can. I can make it.
And I sound like a pathetic version of the Little Engine That Thought It Could.
Okay four more days. Just four more days.
________________________________________________
28/8/06 - Embargo, Day 20 (-1)
The past three days have been too long and too stressful. Between what seems to be the entire science department’s stupidity (barring Zelenka) and the constant monitoring of the power levels (which still spike occasionally) I need some stress relief.
Involving John, a bed and some wonderful latex and lube.
The Daedalus arrives tomorrow. John said he’ll come and get me when he’s gotten hold of some condoms. All I told him was that I would be waiting for him in his quarters.
If I ever manage to put myself under a sexual embargo again, I deserve to be checked into a psychiatric ward for complete and utter insanity.
________________________________________________
John’s room was unnaturally quiet. Rodney had been waiting here for John for the past hour or so. He’d already stripped off his jacket, shoes and socks. And the fact that it was quiet and dark in John’s room was lulling Rodney to sleep.
Rodney had rolled onto his front and had stretched out when he heard the sound of the door opening and closing. Well, it was about time John showed up. When he felt a hand lightly glide up the back of his leg, he looked back to find John studying him, a paper bag in hand.
“Did you get them?” Rodney asked.
John’s fingers skimmed up the back of Rodney’s thigh before moving over his ass with a lingering touch. Rodney watched John, waiting for an answer. When John finally looked at Rodney it was with a grin.
“I got them.”
“About damn time.” Rodney replied in exasperation.
And with that, he grabbed John’s arm and tugged him down to the bed. John twisted to land on his back and Rodney shimmied on top to straddle him. John was reaching into one of his jacket pockets and drawing out a fistful of bright jewel coloured wrappers. Rodney snagged one sticking out from between John’s fingers and then proceeded to kiss John.
John kissed him back eagerly and Rodney could barely register the sound of the condoms falling to the floor. They could always pick them up as needed.
“I like you like this,” John managed when he pulled away to take a breath.
“This?” Rodney asked, sitting up and pulling off John’s jacket.
“Yeah,” John quickly stripped off his black shirt. “Pushy, greedy… insatiable.”
Rodney felt a wave desire course through him as John looked at him. If pushy, greedy and insatiable was what John wanted then that was what he was definitely going to get. Rodney pulled off John’s white t-shirt and tossed it somewhere. He ran his hands down John’s chest, savouring in the feel of muscles and slightly springy chest hair beneath his hands.
He could feel John’s hands tugging at his shirt and jacket. He paused long enough to yank them off and then return his hands back to John. Rodney could already feel John’s half hard cock, digging into his ass. He slowly moved down, until his hands were at the zip for John’s pants. It took almost no time to unzip them, and even less time to push the pants down a bit and free John’s cock from its confines.
Rodney carefully opened the condom; he’d been looking forward to this. He pinched the tip and rolled it on John’s cock before he sat back a bit and licked his lips.
“Rodney…” John’s voice was hoarse.
Rodney leaned down and took John right down to the root. And then promptly sat back up, licking his lips in confusion before he asked, “You got flavoured condoms?”
“Yes,” John sounded like he was being very patient. “Don’t tell me something’s wrong with the condom.”
“No; I just wasn’t expecting chocolate.”
Rodney bent back down and slipped the head of John’s cock in his mouth and started to work his tongue around it. John had been naming a few available flavours when it trailed off abruptly. Rodney wasn’t surprised a moment later when John’s hand found his head, and threaded through his hair.
When Rodney took him right down to the root, John hissed sharply. Normally they had regular condoms and when Rodney did this, it was because he wanted to at least smell John, even if his mouth tasted more of lube than anything else. But this time, he had the taste of chocolate, as well as the feel of John’s cock, on his tongue, and that heady scent that was distinctly John when he was aroused. He could feel his own cock, already pressing against the cloth demanding some attention.
He breathed in deeply, moaning slightly. When John’s hand tightened in his hair and Rodney drew back up, wrapping a hand around John’s cock. John wouldn’t last long now; he could feel it in the way John’s balls were drawing in a bit closer now, readying themselves. Rodney sucked a little bit now, working his tongue around the head and moving his hand rapidly.
John’s balls drew up completely and Rodney felt the first spasm in John’s cock, signalling orgasm. It twitched against his tongue and tip started filling up. Rodney continued stroking, John’s thighs tense from his orgasm. When he finally felt the thigh muscles relax, Rodney pulled off from John’s cock and looked at him. John was just lying on the bed, his eyes slightly open, but glazed over with satiation.
Rodney pulled off the condom and knotted it, making sure none of the come dripped out. John sat up on his elbows almost lazily and watched him. Rodney got off the bed and then quickly stripped out of his pants and underwear. When he looked back at the bed, it was to see John dropping his pants and underwear by the bedside.
“Get the bag Rodney,” John said softly.
Rodney picked up the paper bag and went to the bed. All he knew was that if he didn’t relieve this erection of his and soon, he would probably have the worst case of blue balls known to all men. Something worthy of being in a medical textbook as just plain freaky. And he had no intention of going to Carson for something like that.
John, who seemed to have gathered his senses back, sat up and opened the bag. Inside was lube, latex gloves and more condoms. Rodney knew exactly what this was for. He reached inside and held up a glove and a bottle of lube.
“Your turn.” Rodney said promptly.
John took the glove without question and pulled it on. “I’ve been looking forward to this.”
Rodney felt himself loose a bit of breath at the entirely promising tone in John’s voice as well as the look he received. And he knew how John wanted him. He got on his hands and knees, his ass facing towards John. A moment later, John’s hand was smoothing over his ass, the latex warm in spots where it had warmed to his skin and cool in others.
The cold drops of lube came a moment later and Rodney shivered. But then John’s fingers were there, sliding down to his perineum and massaging it in. Rodney moved back into John’s touch, wishing that John had just gone right for the prostate.
It seemed to take a lot longer before John’s fingers slid back up, while his other hand nudged Rodney’s legs a bit further apart. Rodney felt like the waiting would do him in more than anything else. The cool drops of lube came once more and the John’s hand was rubbing it in, pressing in against his hole.
The muscle twitched under John’s attention and it only took a few minutes before it was relaxed enough for John to slip a finger in. Rodney forced himself to keep breathing evenly. He would not pass out from lack of oxygen. He arched his back a bit as John started trailing light kisses up his back. But when John slipped in a second finger, Rodney moved back on them, a strained groan coming from his throat.
When John reached his neck, Rodney turned his head around and reached back with one hand to cup John’s head as he kissed him. Rodney kissed him as if he could devour John whole, as if he needed to. It was a messy open mouth kiss, but all Rodney cared about was the fact it was John kissing him, and after three hellish weeks of teasing heavy petting he was having actual sex.
John started moving his fingers now, and Rodney was sure he was babbling something; quite possibly about more velocity and how a little less friction would be greatly appreciated.
But then John suddenly hooked his fingers, deliberately stroking Rodney’s prostate; Rodney could feel the first tremors start in his lower belly, as if attempting to keep the orgasm at bay. But when John continued to crook his fingers, it failed miserably.
Rodney’s orgasm seemed to burst out, scorching his nerves and leaching colour from the world around him. He was vaguely aware of a loud sound, but his higher brain functions seemed to have shut down, in favour of simply attempting to keep him conscious during the course of his orgasm. And even that was now failing, since there was now blackness rapidly stealing over everything.
________________________________________________
When Rodney woke once more, John was resting his head on Rodney’s chest and looking at him.
“Finally up?”
Rodney just glared at John. “You did that on purpose.”
“Nice to see you’re back to your old cranky self.” John mused.
Rodney still opted to glare at him. “I don’t recall saying, ‘Make me pass out’, do you?”
“I thought it was more implied, since you seemed to be acting like I gave you the worst case of blue balls seen in the Pegasus galaxy.”
“That is not even remotely funny.”
All John did was smile some more and Rodney wondered if he should give John another blowjob just so he could not have to deal with that infuriating logic of John’s. Rodney certainly didn’t want any more buttons being pushed at the moment. John seemed to catch on since he reached over the bed and picked up another brown package.
“I’m inclined to try cola.”
Rodney stared at the package wondering how the manufacturer managed that.
“Besides, you act like you were the only one suffering that time.” John said.
“Well you obviously chose to do something about it. I would have been perfectly fine.”
“Of course.” John said, even though the look in his eyes said otherwise. He ran his hand up Rodney’s arm, lingering at the shoulder. “And next time, if we run out, you’re going to see Carson; apparently he thinks you might have a closet case of nymphomania.”
“What?!”
________________________________________________
Title: Embargo
Author: furor_scribiend
Rating: NC-17
Format: A
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Warnings: Smut, smut and a heaping side order of smutty hotness.
Disclaimer: Yeah, don’t own Stargate Atlantis. *sniffle*
Summary: When the condom supply on Atlantis dries up, Rodney’s “sexual embargo” begins until the Daedalus arrives. And then he realizes what he’s gotten himself into.
Notes: Written for noglove_nolove challenge. And I tried something new: this is partially narrative, partially journal entries.
7/8/06
This is not good. I could have had lots of mind-blowing sex last night.
And did I? No. Why?
John. Forgot. The. Condoms.
He says he’s got plenty. He’d better remember them tonight or I’ll kill him.
________________________________________________
Rodney sighed and scrubbed at his face wearily. Today had been particularly nasty, with a small power crisis that he narrowly averted. All he wanted at the moment was to leave this damn lab, but John had said to not go wandering around. Rodney wasn’t against staying put if it meant making up for last night’s lack of activities.
When the lab door opened, he looked up to find John walking in. He felt elation surge through him, but it drained away immediately when he saw the look on John’s face.
“What is it?” Rodney demanded bluntly.
John paused in front of Rodney’s work station. “There’s a small problem…” he began, rubbing the back of his head.
________________________________________________
8/8/06 - aka Day 1 (-20)
No hot, mind-blowing sex last night either. Why?
Because, despite assurances of there being plenty last night, John discovered that he has no condoms left.
Absolutely none.
And it doesn’t help that the lone one that I have is almost twenty years past its damn expiry date.
The Daedalus doesn’t arrive for another three weeks.
So I’ve stopped sexual activities until those damned condoms arrive. John agrees with me and says he’ll look into finding some in the meanwhile.
If there’s no glove, then there’s no love.
… Why does that really sound like a demented Barry White sound clip?
________________________________________________
Rodney frowned as he looked over the calculations for the experiment that Radek was setting up. He didn’t bother to look up when the door slid open, but he did when a shadow came to stop in front of his desk.
“Yes?” Rodney didn’t bother to keep the testiness from his voice.
“Feel like doing something tonight?”
Rodney didn’t answer for a moment. “Such as?”
“How about a movie or two?” John offered.
“Fine, that’s fine.” Rodney went back to his calculations. “I’ll come find you when I’m done tonight.”
“Okay; I’ll bring the popcorn.”
John gave him an easy smile before walking from the room. Rodney stared after him, vaguely wondering if that was really such a good idea.
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9/8/06 - Day 2 (-19)
If I ever decide to ease up on sex again, I am never watching movies alone with John.
The man is a subconscious cuddler. I’m perfectly fine in my own little space and next thing I know, it’s almost an hour into the movie and John’s right beside me, with an arm over my shoulder.
And you know what else? He shouldn’t smell so good either. Or wear those jeans. Or that polo shirt. I didn’t even know he had a polo shirt. And it’s just my luck he looks so damn good in it.
It also didn’t help that Mr ‘I-Don’t-Cuddle’ has this habit of stroking my shoulder with his fingers when we’re alone.
Why is it everything he decides to do when we’re alone practically screams, “Let’s fuck right now!” And I know that not just my neurotic subconscious reading far too much into things.
Nineteen more days until the Daedalus arrives.
If there is a higher benevolent force out there, I hope it lets John find someone who can spare some condoms.
________________________________________________
Rodney hated the cafeteria workers sometimes. Every time they opted to make lemon chicken, they only offered one other dish that was almost revolting to look at. This time it was sloppy joes, and the meat looked sicklier than Kusanagi after a whiff of sulphur fumes. And the Cesar salad would have been edible had it not been drowned in far too much cheese and dressing.
He stood there looking over the selection when his radio crackled to life.
“McKay, I need to see you.” John’s voice sounded in his ear.
“I’m kind of busy now,” Rodney began to reply. “So -”
“No McKay,” John sounded urgent. “In my office, now. As in right now.”
Rodney slid his tray back on top of the others as he turned his radio off and left the cafeteria. Rodney knew John had an office somewhere in Atlantis; he just never really pictured him being in it willingly, unless it was to write up mission reports.
It didn’t take him long to get to John’s office and walk in unannounced. John as leaning against the desk, with his arms crossed. Rodney knew that this couldn’t be good.
“Okay,” Rodney began, sounding slightly annoyed. “What’s the problem?”
“There’s none.”
Rodney blinked and watched John as those words sank in, slowly and surely. It took a bit longer before his brain decided to reconnect to his tongue.
“What? I don’t think I heard you quite right.”
John looked pained, like he was facing an impending eruption worse than the one on Taranis. “There’s none.”
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10/8/06 - Embargo, Day 3(-18)
There isn’t a single condom in the entire city.
John asked everyone possible. And I do mean everyone. Apparently Carson didn’t ask anything, but raised an eyebrow. I’ll bet anything that Carson’s figured it out about me and John. I wonder if I can delay my next physical indeterminately.
But the point of no condoms equals this: no sex at all, of any sort, for the next eighteen days and counting.
Given recent circumstances around Atlantis, it was a long while before John and slept together. And that was before the Wraith were coming to Atlantis for the second time. I was antsy before that. And that was at least two and a half months ago.
I’m not sexually driven for the most part, but it’s nice to have sex. Especially when you really, really, really want it.
And I really, really, really want it. Now. As in right now.
What I, with my brains, have managed to do was land my libido right in the middle of a sexual embargo.
Yes, that’s right. An embargo. On all sex. An Embargo - and yes, it damned well merits capitalisation - on sex. With John.
You’re fucking brilliant McKay.
________________________________________________
“Rodney?”
Rodney looked up from his computer to see John coming into his office. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and put his stylus down. The past three days had been hell; the cloak had been causing some power fluctuations, and they were still working on fixing it, with moderate success. Some parts of the city were prone to just lose power altogether. Rodney really had no time to see John now.
“What is it?” he asked.
“You busy?”
Rodney looked at John for a long moment before he rubbed his eyes. Why did John insist on asking the stupidest questions sometimes? Of course he was busy; trying to restore power to the city was crucial. John knew that.
He jumped a bit when he felt hands on his knees. His eyes opened to find John crouching down in front of him. Rodney just looked at him; what the hell was John up to?
“You need to relax a bit more.”
All Rodney did was make a choked sound of disbelief as John nuzzled his clothed crotch. He moved his hands to John’s head, intent on pushing him away, but then John opened his mouth and breathed heavily. There was hot, humid air moving through the cloth of his uniform pants and surrounding his cock. And his cock was happily responding to the attention.
His hands fisted in John’s hair, tufts of the unruly, soft strands poking between his fingers. John’s hands were sliding up his thigh, squeezing slightly every so often. Rodney slid down further in the chair, spreading his legs wider. John moved in closer, moving one of Rodney’s lower legs between his.
Rodney moved his leg up further, feeling an erection press against his shin. John was getting off on this as much as he was. He pressed his shin in more and started rubbing it against John’s clothed erection.
A breathless sort groan came from John and his fingers tightened on Rodney’s thigh, close to his cock. Rodney pushed his hips upwards, and John responded with the hard pressure of his tongue, followed by the scrape of teeth.
It was Rodney’s turn to groan. The steady, yielding pressure of John’s tongue made him writhe a bit, and the hard scrape of teeth through the cloth made him hope that John wasn’t going to draw this out for too long; his heart was pounding so hard, it would probably explode if this went on any longer.
John was now moving his hips steadily against Rodney’s shin, and the motion and pressure made Rodney press his shin harder against John’s erection. The office was filled with the sounds of heavy breathing and cloth rustling.
Rodney knew he would soon be done the moment John’s other hand slid up his thigh quickly. It came to a rest at the juncture between thigh and hip, just like the other one. And both hands started squeezing in tandem, while John started with his tongue once more.
The orgasm didn’t hit Rodney full force. It stole over him, like a seemingly gentle wave. He could feel his toes curling and uncurling in his boots, feel it in the way his muscles started to stiffen up. And when it finally made its way through his body, it seemed like he was thrumming with an orgasm teetering right on the brink. And when one of John’s hands covered his erection and squeezed, he went tumbling down, his entire body seeming to center on John’s lingering attention to his cock.
Rodney was attempting to focus his vision, and felt barely coherent as John stiffened against his shin. John rested against Rodney’s knee a moment later. Rodney could feel John’s heartbeat slow down and his breathing evening out.
“That’s your idea of relaxing?” Rodney asked.
John looked up at him. “You aren’t relaxed?”
“That’s not the point!” Rodney spluttered a moment later.
John chuckled, the vibrations felt on Rodney’s knee. “Well, look at it this way…”
And Rodney knew that whatever John said next, it would piss him off, because it was entirely right and true.
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13/8/06 - Embargo, Day 6 (-16)
I don’t think it should even be called an embargo any longer. Not since John decided to give me a pseudo-blowjob in my office.
Though, according to him, it’s something to take my mind off the fact there’s nothing else I’ll let him do. You know if he wants to say things like that, fine. But he shouldn’t do it, while looking like he’s gotten away on a technicality. And with the most annoying smug grin too.
Heavy petting is something I try to avoid because it has a bad habit of leading to more. And if I have any more heavy petting sessions with John, I won’t make it until the Daedalus comes back.
And if I try to avoid him, he’ll get pissy with me. Amusing as that is, it takes a lot of work to make John happy again. And forget the reason why he was pissy with you in the first place.
… But maybe he needs a dose of his own tactics
________________________________________________
There were times that Rodney absolutely hated going off world. Namely, he hated it when the situation and mission went right to pot from the start.
This particular mission was supposed to be about making allies with a people known as the Odaba. Unfortunately the Wraith had gotten there first, and the planet was crawling with them. The Wraith had been quick to cut them off from the gate and drive them away from it. The past five days had been spent hiding, running, and scraping together enough food for the four of them. When they finally got back to Atlantis, it was definitely worse for wear and fairly sleep-deprived.
Rodney knew he probably owed Ronon, Teyla and John his life. All he’d been able to do was predict the Wraith search pattern and nothing else really. John, Ronon and Teyla did all the fighting if they ran into a small contingent, usually of five Wraiths. And when their bullets ran out, it was all hand-to-hand. All Rodney could do was swing a heavy branch around madly and hope that it would knock the Wraith out.
Because that invariably happened; one of the Wraiths would quickly clue into the fact that Rodney wasn’t fighting and would go after him. And it was usually John that came to the rescue.
Apparently Ronon and Teyla caught onto the fact pretty quickly. And when their physicals were done and they’d gotten a decent amount of sleep, Ronon and Teyla had managed to corner him. Teyla had been meaning to say something subtle but Ronon broke that when he bluntly said, “If you fuck him up, I hurt you. Got it?”
All Rodney had done was nod his head. What the hell could he say to such an overt threat like that coming from Ronon? For that matter, what exactly could he do to Ronon? Teyla had tried to soften Ronon’s words, but it didn’t have quite the same effect. But Rodney was glad for the fact that they had down time from Elizabeth, and reinforced by Carson’s recommendation for a few days off.
But he knew that he couldn’t allow a situation like that to happen again. And that was precisely the reason why he was looking for John now. When he found him, it was finally in the practice room. He could hear the sounds of sparring from inside, and when the door slid open, he saw John and Teyla sparring.
Teyla had just missed a hit from John, and noticed him in the doorway. Her stance relaxed and she moved out of John’s range.
“It seems Dr McKay wishes to speak to you. I shall leave you two alone.”
And before he, or John, could say anything Teyla had walked from the room. Rodney stepped inside, lingering by the door as it closed. John had walked over to his towel and was wiping away some sweat.
“So, what did you want Rodney?” he asked.
Rodney knew he shouldn’t have been staring at John’s forearms. “Self-defence, I want to learn self-defence. You know… the stuff that you do.”
John looked back at him quizzically for a moment before he shrugged. “All right then.”
Rodney moved into the center of the room, as John tossed his towel down. “So what do I do?”
“Well, what I know is the result of basic military training, and further study. I’m guessing you want to learn something quicker than has visible results.”
“So I’m not attempting to brain Wraith with a tree branch, yeah.” Rodney was wondering if he bit off more than he could chew here.
John was scrutinising him for a moment. “I could teach you Krav Maga.”
“Teach me what?” Rodney asked. “That sounds like something you eat.”
“Krav Maga is the combat defence used by the Israeli special forces.”
“The Air Force taught you that?”
“I took a course on some down time.”
Rodney decided to not press it farther when John refused to elaborate any further.
“By all rights, I shouldn’t be teaching you,” John rubbed his chin for a moment. “Conflict of interest. But I don’t think you want to learn from the only other person qualified to teach it.”
“And that is…?”
“Sergeant Bates.”
“Rather not. So,” Rodney rubbed his hands together. “Are we going to get started?”
________________________________________________
19/8/06 - Embargo, Day 12 (-10)
Krav Maga is… interesting. Of course, I wasn’t expecting a lecture on the stuff for almost three hours. Anatomy, I can understand needing. But on why that Lichtenfeld guy created it, no. I just need to use it.
And the one thing that John decided to teach me, I failed at horribly. And managed to turn it into a dry humping session.
Yes, my libido is taking what it can get during this ever failing embargo.
John moved in to do something - I can’t recall at all. I, being my usual, brilliant self in a situation like that, did something utterly stupid, and we both end up tripping and falling to the floor. John had managed to wrap his arms around my forearms and stop me from doing practically anything else.
And I know John wasn’t thinking it, but his legs almost wrapped around my waist. Having his legs around my thighs does nothing to help my ever-eager libido.
I really wanted to get out of that hold John had me in. Except the only part that I could really move were my hips.
All that five minutes of trying to escape resulted in was one eager John beneath me, which doesn’t happen very often.
And then he kissed me. I know, it’s the stupidest thing we’ve ever done: kissing in the practice room, where anyone could have walked in and seen us like that. That would mean a final au revoir to Atlantis for the both of us and John kissing his military career goodbye.
And something else interesting I’ve discovered: John is, in all likelihood, a pushy, aggressive bottom.
The last time we were together, he was attentive and slow. And being the complete alpha and insisting on topping (even if it was subconsciously). It was great, don’t get me wrong. But today, John was pushy, greedy and just… wild. I think my ass still has claw marks from when he grabbed it and humped against me until he came.
And he bites. How the hell does he expect me to hide the bite mark on neck without making it look obvious? I did him the courtesy of not leaving a mark.
Huh; pushy, greedy and just wild. I wonder if John thinks the same thing of me when I want it.
________________________________________________
Rodney didn’t particularly like Krav Maga at the moment. It seemed to consist mainly of him messing up and John almost always stopping him. But while it was highly infuriating that it was taking him so long to grasp the basics, he knew he had to stick with it. He should learn to protect his own intellect for the simple fact that if he ever got separated from the team by enemies during a mission, he was, in all probability, screwed.
“Rodney, you’re not paying attention.”
Rodney focused his attention back at John’s quiet tone. Right, he was supposed to focus on deflecting John’s attack. He should be able to do this. John had spent their six days of down time, trying to drill stuff into his head. Rodney completely understood it; theoretically speaking. His body seemed to have other plans, and they involved not co-operating.
“Okay, now, I’m going to come at you,” John said. “All you have to do is try to stop me.”
Rodney nodded his head, and then it seemed as if John was coming straight at him. His mind was running through the moves that John showed him, but his limbs seemed almost leaden. But when John’s hands started coming up, clearly aiming for his throat, it seemed that Rodney’s brain suddenly snapped into complete takeover mode and his limbs responded.
John’s hands had just come to rest on his neck and Rodney’s hands came up to pull them away. He pulled on hand back and went to smack John in the neck, except his palm came down open.
When John recoiled away with a wince, Rodney almost paused. But then his brain decided to bark back John’s words to him: don’t stop; keep going until the person is neutralised and you can get away safely. So Rodney brought his knee up, intent on making contact with John’s padded crotch, but hit John’s knee instead. John went partially down and Rodney let go of the one hand he was still holding onto and pushed John away.
“I did it!” Rodney crowed triumphantly.
“Yeah, you did.” John agreed as he stood back up.
Rodney frowned since there was a rather amused grin on John’s face. “What now?”
“An open palm to the neck?” John asked.
“It worked.” Rodney retorted.
“Can’t argue with that.”
Rodney’s frown turned into a scowl when he realised John was holding back laughter. “You know, the one time that I don’t screw up is not the time to be laughing at me.”
John walked in closer to him and gave him a gentle kiss. “You did good Rodney,”
Rodney huffed, and felt marginally appeased by that.
“But you’re supposed to chop, not smack.”
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25/8/06 - Embargo, Day 18 (-4)
Okay, only four more days until the Daedalus arrives. And John’s been a shit for pushing my buttons whenever he can get away with it.
But I can make it. I can make it without pseudo-blowjobs and dry humping like a hormonal teenager.
I can make it. I can. I know I can. I can make it.
And I sound like a pathetic version of the Little Engine That Thought It Could.
Okay four more days. Just four more days.
________________________________________________
28/8/06 - Embargo, Day 20 (-1)
The past three days have been too long and too stressful. Between what seems to be the entire science department’s stupidity (barring Zelenka) and the constant monitoring of the power levels (which still spike occasionally) I need some stress relief.
Involving John, a bed and some wonderful latex and lube.
The Daedalus arrives tomorrow. John said he’ll come and get me when he’s gotten hold of some condoms. All I told him was that I would be waiting for him in his quarters.
If I ever manage to put myself under a sexual embargo again, I deserve to be checked into a psychiatric ward for complete and utter insanity.
________________________________________________
John’s room was unnaturally quiet. Rodney had been waiting here for John for the past hour or so. He’d already stripped off his jacket, shoes and socks. And the fact that it was quiet and dark in John’s room was lulling Rodney to sleep.
Rodney had rolled onto his front and had stretched out when he heard the sound of the door opening and closing. Well, it was about time John showed up. When he felt a hand lightly glide up the back of his leg, he looked back to find John studying him, a paper bag in hand.
“Did you get them?” Rodney asked.
John’s fingers skimmed up the back of Rodney’s thigh before moving over his ass with a lingering touch. Rodney watched John, waiting for an answer. When John finally looked at Rodney it was with a grin.
“I got them.”
“About damn time.” Rodney replied in exasperation.
And with that, he grabbed John’s arm and tugged him down to the bed. John twisted to land on his back and Rodney shimmied on top to straddle him. John was reaching into one of his jacket pockets and drawing out a fistful of bright jewel coloured wrappers. Rodney snagged one sticking out from between John’s fingers and then proceeded to kiss John.
John kissed him back eagerly and Rodney could barely register the sound of the condoms falling to the floor. They could always pick them up as needed.
“I like you like this,” John managed when he pulled away to take a breath.
“This?” Rodney asked, sitting up and pulling off John’s jacket.
“Yeah,” John quickly stripped off his black shirt. “Pushy, greedy… insatiable.”
Rodney felt a wave desire course through him as John looked at him. If pushy, greedy and insatiable was what John wanted then that was what he was definitely going to get. Rodney pulled off John’s white t-shirt and tossed it somewhere. He ran his hands down John’s chest, savouring in the feel of muscles and slightly springy chest hair beneath his hands.
He could feel John’s hands tugging at his shirt and jacket. He paused long enough to yank them off and then return his hands back to John. Rodney could already feel John’s half hard cock, digging into his ass. He slowly moved down, until his hands were at the zip for John’s pants. It took almost no time to unzip them, and even less time to push the pants down a bit and free John’s cock from its confines.
Rodney carefully opened the condom; he’d been looking forward to this. He pinched the tip and rolled it on John’s cock before he sat back a bit and licked his lips.
“Rodney…” John’s voice was hoarse.
Rodney leaned down and took John right down to the root. And then promptly sat back up, licking his lips in confusion before he asked, “You got flavoured condoms?”
“Yes,” John sounded like he was being very patient. “Don’t tell me something’s wrong with the condom.”
“No; I just wasn’t expecting chocolate.”
Rodney bent back down and slipped the head of John’s cock in his mouth and started to work his tongue around it. John had been naming a few available flavours when it trailed off abruptly. Rodney wasn’t surprised a moment later when John’s hand found his head, and threaded through his hair.
When Rodney took him right down to the root, John hissed sharply. Normally they had regular condoms and when Rodney did this, it was because he wanted to at least smell John, even if his mouth tasted more of lube than anything else. But this time, he had the taste of chocolate, as well as the feel of John’s cock, on his tongue, and that heady scent that was distinctly John when he was aroused. He could feel his own cock, already pressing against the cloth demanding some attention.
He breathed in deeply, moaning slightly. When John’s hand tightened in his hair and Rodney drew back up, wrapping a hand around John’s cock. John wouldn’t last long now; he could feel it in the way John’s balls were drawing in a bit closer now, readying themselves. Rodney sucked a little bit now, working his tongue around the head and moving his hand rapidly.
John’s balls drew up completely and Rodney felt the first spasm in John’s cock, signalling orgasm. It twitched against his tongue and tip started filling up. Rodney continued stroking, John’s thighs tense from his orgasm. When he finally felt the thigh muscles relax, Rodney pulled off from John’s cock and looked at him. John was just lying on the bed, his eyes slightly open, but glazed over with satiation.
Rodney pulled off the condom and knotted it, making sure none of the come dripped out. John sat up on his elbows almost lazily and watched him. Rodney got off the bed and then quickly stripped out of his pants and underwear. When he looked back at the bed, it was to see John dropping his pants and underwear by the bedside.
“Get the bag Rodney,” John said softly.
Rodney picked up the paper bag and went to the bed. All he knew was that if he didn’t relieve this erection of his and soon, he would probably have the worst case of blue balls known to all men. Something worthy of being in a medical textbook as just plain freaky. And he had no intention of going to Carson for something like that.
John, who seemed to have gathered his senses back, sat up and opened the bag. Inside was lube, latex gloves and more condoms. Rodney knew exactly what this was for. He reached inside and held up a glove and a bottle of lube.
“Your turn.” Rodney said promptly.
John took the glove without question and pulled it on. “I’ve been looking forward to this.”
Rodney felt himself loose a bit of breath at the entirely promising tone in John’s voice as well as the look he received. And he knew how John wanted him. He got on his hands and knees, his ass facing towards John. A moment later, John’s hand was smoothing over his ass, the latex warm in spots where it had warmed to his skin and cool in others.
The cold drops of lube came a moment later and Rodney shivered. But then John’s fingers were there, sliding down to his perineum and massaging it in. Rodney moved back into John’s touch, wishing that John had just gone right for the prostate.
It seemed to take a lot longer before John’s fingers slid back up, while his other hand nudged Rodney’s legs a bit further apart. Rodney felt like the waiting would do him in more than anything else. The cool drops of lube came once more and the John’s hand was rubbing it in, pressing in against his hole.
The muscle twitched under John’s attention and it only took a few minutes before it was relaxed enough for John to slip a finger in. Rodney forced himself to keep breathing evenly. He would not pass out from lack of oxygen. He arched his back a bit as John started trailing light kisses up his back. But when John slipped in a second finger, Rodney moved back on them, a strained groan coming from his throat.
When John reached his neck, Rodney turned his head around and reached back with one hand to cup John’s head as he kissed him. Rodney kissed him as if he could devour John whole, as if he needed to. It was a messy open mouth kiss, but all Rodney cared about was the fact it was John kissing him, and after three hellish weeks of teasing heavy petting he was having actual sex.
John started moving his fingers now, and Rodney was sure he was babbling something; quite possibly about more velocity and how a little less friction would be greatly appreciated.
But then John suddenly hooked his fingers, deliberately stroking Rodney’s prostate; Rodney could feel the first tremors start in his lower belly, as if attempting to keep the orgasm at bay. But when John continued to crook his fingers, it failed miserably.
Rodney’s orgasm seemed to burst out, scorching his nerves and leaching colour from the world around him. He was vaguely aware of a loud sound, but his higher brain functions seemed to have shut down, in favour of simply attempting to keep him conscious during the course of his orgasm. And even that was now failing, since there was now blackness rapidly stealing over everything.
________________________________________________
When Rodney woke once more, John was resting his head on Rodney’s chest and looking at him.
“Finally up?”
Rodney just glared at John. “You did that on purpose.”
“Nice to see you’re back to your old cranky self.” John mused.
Rodney still opted to glare at him. “I don’t recall saying, ‘Make me pass out’, do you?”
“I thought it was more implied, since you seemed to be acting like I gave you the worst case of blue balls seen in the Pegasus galaxy.”
“That is not even remotely funny.”
All John did was smile some more and Rodney wondered if he should give John another blowjob just so he could not have to deal with that infuriating logic of John’s. Rodney certainly didn’t want any more buttons being pushed at the moment. John seemed to catch on since he reached over the bed and picked up another brown package.
“I’m inclined to try cola.”
Rodney stared at the package wondering how the manufacturer managed that.
“Besides, you act like you were the only one suffering that time.” John said.
“Well you obviously chose to do something about it. I would have been perfectly fine.”
“Of course.” John said, even though the look in his eyes said otherwise. He ran his hand up Rodney’s arm, lingering at the shoulder. “And next time, if we run out, you’re going to see Carson; apparently he thinks you might have a closet case of nymphomania.”
“What?!”
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