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everything is so hard as of late i want a g/f i cant seem to keep on idk why i must be me ever sice i broke up with torie its felt like no can love me at all she was the best thing that ever happend to me she always made me smile and laugh and it husrts some times cuz i remmeber the things we did and stuff and it hurts inside knowing not only i gave it up i mean i ask myself every time i think about her if i did the right thing at times i think yes yes i did and then there are times were i say no no i didnt that it was the most stupid thing i ever did that i should have just held on a little longer that i should have tried and shouldnt have gavin up on it on us but because of that i guess that means im not a man but idk its all confusing and makes not only my heart hurt but my head too i mean im a little afriad to befriends with her cuz i might fall in love with her all over again or i might get her too and hurt her its funny even now i think of other people before myself i love her still i know i do not like before not like at first i have been hurt and pushed down by her to far but then again i dont blame her i mean if the person you loved and said loved you broke up with you cuz of fighting then maybe she has a right to call me all those names maybe by doing that stuff i am those things she calls me but i dont know if i want to get back with her i mean i like being single but i love being loved being in a warm inbrace i guess the one thing i need in life is love i guess its a side effect of not having a father or something that need to have some one that want and yearn and i never had that till torie but when i got ended it it was ok but i guess it just needed to seep in to me that i did love her with all my heart and that i am stupid but i guess the least i can do to try and repent for the hurt i caused her is be her friend so yes torie i'll be your friend i forgive you and i could never hate you luv you were my first love i couldnt hate you ever you meant to much to me idk if we will get back together im not gonan say yes or no anything could happen but i will be gald to be your friend and tell tristin that idk know what cheat code he was talking about in that message and torie im sry.... i think im gonna go cry now or somthing