(no subject)
'if you stare for long into an abyss- the abyss will gaze also into you.'- huxley
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
you smelled like a thousand
(unburned)
cigarettes
and i was just a miners daughter
whose father stole the futures diamonds
wearing nothing but dusty gloves.
i remember when you opened your jaws and roared
i saw the back of your throat
slicked pink glistening pulsating
(uvula clit)
and thought us twins.
-knowing of other ways to enter you-
I stopped fearing your masculinity.
you voice became a thousand
(uncaptured)
POW's chanting
and your eyes turned to
pile.of.ash synagogues.
i wished we could have
fed each other our souls
-hemopheiliac seraphims-
music to me became your
moistened sigh
and i counted each second passing by
(never forgetting that we were dieing)
trying to catch each pestering buzzing moment
like purple gnats
in a frying pan.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
fingers and toes antennae
we must have been searching for something
like first daddies blue ribbon prize
surprise
surprise
this is what the experts
expected
anyways-
for out mothers ex's
to affect us
in hidden ways
for male longing to emerge
in every
obligation
craving word that
crossed my filed teeth and
civilization painted lips.
for my tongue to
always seem lonely
unless blessed
with a taste
of any willing
HIM
like a dessert wine
i was excepting expected desertion.
statics screaming that i could never be
SATISFIED-
colognes changing like bed sheets
or leaves
falling from their paternal trees.
washing out a father figure
every time i brushed my teeth
i stood infront of mirrors
thinking that without broad shoulders
behind mine i was worthless-
with out a man i was
never who i could be
i was a hull-
this undesirable womb thing
feeling like the taste of my
my skin must cause
allergic reactions-
fingerprints scaring my body
gave me traction
to keep grip
on a slipping
imposed ideal
that a man
would show the the dark side of my
moon.
"DADDY" was a single
forgotten
astronaut
without any thoughts for myself
so i searched for the acceptance of rejection
like some lipstick stained red planet
and i'm wiping away tears while
my air tank fills with fear
because the future doesn't show
ANY
SHINING
SIGN
OF
HIM
.
and hope?
hope sits like a house plant
in a closet
waiting for the door to open-
consuming the darkness like
lofatlowcarbsugarfree
photosynthesis,
accepting every razor blade word
flung from goatee tickled lips-
eating each
NEED ME PLEASE
syllable
like cinnamon bun bullets
and then licking the icing from
my chin.
fingers and toes
MY
antennae,
I
must be searching for something.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
these precious things, let the bleedletthembleedlethtembleed bleed red bleed real bleed like me.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
you smelled like a thousand
(unburned)
cigarettes
and i was just a miners daughter
whose father stole the futures diamonds
wearing nothing but dusty gloves.
i remember when you opened your jaws and roared
i saw the back of your throat
slicked pink glistening pulsating
(uvula clit)
and thought us twins.
-knowing of other ways to enter you-
I stopped fearing your masculinity.
you voice became a thousand
(uncaptured)
POW's chanting
and your eyes turned to
pile.of.ash synagogues.
i wished we could have
fed each other our souls
-hemopheiliac seraphims-
music to me became your
moistened sigh
and i counted each second passing by
(never forgetting that we were dieing)
trying to catch each pestering buzzing moment
like purple gnats
in a frying pan.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
fingers and toes antennae
we must have been searching for something
like first daddies blue ribbon prize
surprise
surprise
this is what the experts
expected
anyways-
for out mothers ex's
to affect us
in hidden ways
for male longing to emerge
in every
obligation
craving word that
crossed my filed teeth and
civilization painted lips.
for my tongue to
always seem lonely
unless blessed
with a taste
of any willing
HIM
like a dessert wine
i was excepting expected desertion.
statics screaming that i could never be
SATISFIED-
colognes changing like bed sheets
or leaves
falling from their paternal trees.
washing out a father figure
every time i brushed my teeth
i stood infront of mirrors
thinking that without broad shoulders
behind mine i was worthless-
with out a man i was
never who i could be
i was a hull-
this undesirable womb thing
feeling like the taste of my
my skin must cause
allergic reactions-
fingerprints scaring my body
gave me traction
to keep grip
on a slipping
imposed ideal
that a man
would show the the dark side of my
moon.
"DADDY" was a single
forgotten
astronaut
without any thoughts for myself
so i searched for the acceptance of rejection
like some lipstick stained red planet
and i'm wiping away tears while
my air tank fills with fear
because the future doesn't show
ANY
SHINING
SIGN
OF
HIM
.
and hope?
hope sits like a house plant
in a closet
waiting for the door to open-
consuming the darkness like
lofatlowcarbsugarfree
photosynthesis,
accepting every razor blade word
flung from goatee tickled lips-
eating each
NEED ME PLEASE
syllable
like cinnamon bun bullets
and then licking the icing from
my chin.
fingers and toes
MY
antennae,
I
must be searching for something.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
these precious things, let the bleedletthembleedlethtembleed bleed red bleed real bleed like me.