goodbye
I'm leaving for Maine tomorrow at 2pm. Have to be at the Orlando Airport at 1230. Its now 130 am ish and I just finished packing. My sister is half way done w/ her packing. I love my family, we are so good at planning things! haha So yeah I get back sometime Monday night ish.. I'll try and update or something while I'm there, I dont think I'll be totally bored to death, but i don't think i'll have something to do to occupy all of my time up there either! The wedding (my Auntie Noel's) is on Sunday afternoon. We fly into Boston tomorrow at about 6? then my grandma is having a limo pick us up from the airport and drive us to Maine which is only a couple hours.
I'm gonna miss my friends tho!! Brittany and Erin I'll be talkin to ya both tomorrow night tho :) and writing notes on the plane hehe
So tonight at work, well it was pretty good. That one guy..he was there..yes, the new hott one w/ a girlfriend but who flippen cares about that! haha its funny b/c me and Jose (TRACK ATTENDENT JOSE!) went to burger king and came back and were sittin in the restraunt and he walked by, and jose's like "what u think hes cute or something???" and i was like "mmmmmmm YEAH!!" and he laughed at me. asshole. lol But I talked to Brenden for a while, he is one of the smartest guys I have ever met. He broke up w/ his girlfriend 3 months ago, and he was telling me how hes just trying to focus on him now, and not worry about anything other then him, and how its really worked out for him. But when he was telling me he still needed more than the 3 months to work things out w/ himself first, i was thinking, wow..3 months seems like already a long time to not be getting involved w/ someone! But it really isnt. I've always said that I never wanted to be one of those girls that ALWAYS has to have someone/something there, and I never thought about it but in a way I became like that. Its not that i was telling myself i needed someone if there was no one in the pic at that time, but I would become SO unhappy. That makes me sick! I refuse to be like that. REFUSE! I've made lots of mistakes, but instead of beating myself up over them, i want to atleast learn from them. I will never wait on a guy again. I waited 8 months for someone that I liked about 10 months. Never again. I waited.. and i pushed other guys that tried to get close to me away. And now look where that got me? never. never again. I'm not one the place blame for bad stuff that happens to me on other people. I have myself to blame partly for somethings b/c I put myself in situations over again after having been hurt in the outcome before. well duh, i know not to do that before! But I will say this, I've never played head games with a guy. I'm not the one that hurts someone, I get hurt. Well it shouldnt be like that! I'm not saying I'm gonna be the one that hurts people now haha no, not at all. I just need to be "cautious" as Brenden said, and I think that will make things alot better. But I know one thing I need to work on before I'm ready to get into ANYTHING is work on myself, I cant be happy when I'm unhappy w/ me, and thats how I am right now. Something my owner Eddie told me a while ago (haha) is that having value for yourself is so important, and thats true! And I need to value myself alot more. I've always had shitty self esteem, and the past few months kinda damaged what little I had left. But I'm getting it back..I'm trying anyways! *sigh...
Well now that I have poured my heart out for the whole livejournal world to see, It's time for bed! I have to stop by school early in the morning on the way to take my dog to doggy day care aha i'm getting my year book, yay!!
oNlY oNe*your name is in a circle ;) <3//333