devoid of pictures
The priest I confessed to yesterday talked about the function of love and humans and how we're never truly at our happiest unless that love of ours is doing something for others. He asked me to spend some time reflecting on who I am to myself and to others, and to find out what kind of person I want to be.
He asked me if other people said I was a good person. I told him people tell me I have to stop beating myself up because I'm apparently better than I think.
If I think about it, the person I want to be isn't very famous as a worker or an artist, but would be famous for just being pleasant to be around. I've heard rumors and things now and then about how I'm intimidating to approach? I really wish it wasn't so. I'm flaky at times, but I've never wanted to scare anybody off before. Well, not anymore; high school dramarama years are so over.
If I'm going to be known, I'd want to be known for just being good. Not the best, but good. Someone people can go to and they know I'm not putting up a front; nobody has to worry about me seeming fake. I just want to be genuinely good to people, because nothing of value is gained from being awful to anyone. It's harder with personalities I don't mesh with, but I don't want to be combative or disdainful just because things don't click.
I can't be friends with everybody, but I'd at least like to be the kind of friend that people value and love because I love and value them.
I need to find the balance there, too, with how much I care. I can't keep getting myself sick every other night with worry and fear for people; it does nothing good for anyone. Nobody wants to know that they're the reason someone's suffering, even if that suffering is out of love, right? So I need to be a good person who is strong enough to care.
Mm.
Soyeah. Talking about it is easy, doing it is something else. But it's not like flipping a light switch, I suppose; you just gotta try. So I'll try harder and harder and hope that good is what I become and what I'm known for.
He asked me if other people said I was a good person. I told him people tell me I have to stop beating myself up because I'm apparently better than I think.
If I think about it, the person I want to be isn't very famous as a worker or an artist, but would be famous for just being pleasant to be around. I've heard rumors and things now and then about how I'm intimidating to approach? I really wish it wasn't so. I'm flaky at times, but I've never wanted to scare anybody off before. Well, not anymore; high school dramarama years are so over.
If I'm going to be known, I'd want to be known for just being good. Not the best, but good. Someone people can go to and they know I'm not putting up a front; nobody has to worry about me seeming fake. I just want to be genuinely good to people, because nothing of value is gained from being awful to anyone. It's harder with personalities I don't mesh with, but I don't want to be combative or disdainful just because things don't click.
I can't be friends with everybody, but I'd at least like to be the kind of friend that people value and love because I love and value them.
I need to find the balance there, too, with how much I care. I can't keep getting myself sick every other night with worry and fear for people; it does nothing good for anyone. Nobody wants to know that they're the reason someone's suffering, even if that suffering is out of love, right? So I need to be a good person who is strong enough to care.
Mm.
Soyeah. Talking about it is easy, doing it is something else. But it's not like flipping a light switch, I suppose; you just gotta try. So I'll try harder and harder and hope that good is what I become and what I'm known for.