Starting again
"We do not write because we want to; we write because we have to." - W. Somerset Maugham
I've realised over the last few years, with an increasing sadness, that I've forgotten how to write. Not only have I forgotten how, I just haven't really wanted to. I haven't felt like I've had anything interesting to say and that, even if I did, no one would be particularly interesting in reading about it. I don't know if it was the three years of academic writing - three years of academic reading has left me only this year rekindling my previous lust and love for books - but whatever happened, it wasn't good.
But then last week, I went to a friend's gig. It was acoustic guitar and singing accompanied by spoken word poetry (or vice versa), and there was poetry so honest and real and beautiful it gave me goosebumps all over. But more importantly, it made me want to start writing again. So then I thought I'd reactivate this blog, and get back into the habit of writing again. Because it really has been far too long.
But then I got stuck again, trying to think of something to write about. A topic, some kind of theme. Because while my life is often in complete disarray, I really do like things to be organised, and be as neat, labeled and compartmentalised as possible. But I couldn't (wouldn't?) think of anything to write about that I could (would?) stick with for an extended period of time.
I went to another of the same friend's gigs today and, after listening to all that amazing poetry and lyric again, I thought, "Fuck it. I have to."
So now I'm writing. I'm reactivating this blog, and it doesn't matter how many people read it, if, in fact, anyone does. And it doesn't matter really what I'm writing about - for now, anyway. The important thing is that I'm writing again. That I want to write again, after a long, long time. Just as there are too many books to read, there are too many things to say, and I finally feel compelled to say them. It may not save the world; but then again it may: "...some things must be said, and there are times when silence becomes an accomplice to injustice." - Ayaan Hirsi Ali
And then I found this quote by the wonderful Edgar Allan Poe that confirmed what I was thinking:
"Through joy and through sorrow, I wrote. Through hunger and through thirst, I wrote. Through good report and ill report, I wrote. Through sunshine and moonshine, I wrote. What I wrote it is unnecessary to say."
So, I will write.
I've realised over the last few years, with an increasing sadness, that I've forgotten how to write. Not only have I forgotten how, I just haven't really wanted to. I haven't felt like I've had anything interesting to say and that, even if I did, no one would be particularly interesting in reading about it. I don't know if it was the three years of academic writing - three years of academic reading has left me only this year rekindling my previous lust and love for books - but whatever happened, it wasn't good.
But then last week, I went to a friend's gig. It was acoustic guitar and singing accompanied by spoken word poetry (or vice versa), and there was poetry so honest and real and beautiful it gave me goosebumps all over. But more importantly, it made me want to start writing again. So then I thought I'd reactivate this blog, and get back into the habit of writing again. Because it really has been far too long.
But then I got stuck again, trying to think of something to write about. A topic, some kind of theme. Because while my life is often in complete disarray, I really do like things to be organised, and be as neat, labeled and compartmentalised as possible. But I couldn't (wouldn't?) think of anything to write about that I could (would?) stick with for an extended period of time.
I went to another of the same friend's gigs today and, after listening to all that amazing poetry and lyric again, I thought, "Fuck it. I have to."
So now I'm writing. I'm reactivating this blog, and it doesn't matter how many people read it, if, in fact, anyone does. And it doesn't matter really what I'm writing about - for now, anyway. The important thing is that I'm writing again. That I want to write again, after a long, long time. Just as there are too many books to read, there are too many things to say, and I finally feel compelled to say them. It may not save the world; but then again it may: "...some things must be said, and there are times when silence becomes an accomplice to injustice." - Ayaan Hirsi Ali
And then I found this quote by the wonderful Edgar Allan Poe that confirmed what I was thinking:
"Through joy and through sorrow, I wrote. Through hunger and through thirst, I wrote. Through good report and ill report, I wrote. Through sunshine and moonshine, I wrote. What I wrote it is unnecessary to say."
So, I will write.