A collection of my livetweets of the Oscars.
I didn't start until a little bit in because I was catching up on reading my timeline...
No, Billy Crystal wearing makeup to more closely resemble the specific entertainer he's doing an impression of is not blackface.
I'm surprised the Christopher Guest Performers don't have their own show that was cancelled after 6 episodes by now.
Love that the Transformers 3 nomination clip for sound mixing was of a screaming Shia.
The sketch that shows an Oscars hosted by The Muppets is just as boring as one hosted by anyone else.
Bits about the films from this year: 1. Bits about every film from the past: Lost count.
Downey seemed to have the start of a good bit there. Shame about how the rest of it played out.
The Brett Ratner Oscars: Montage of the year's cinematic F-Bombs has Plummer walk out of the show.
The Brett Ratner Oscars: Best makeup presented by Eddie Murphy and Adam Sandler made up as each other.
The Brett Ratner Oscars: I love how they transition to commericals with celebrity upskirt shots. I hope they do Miss Piggy next.
Billy Crystal seduced and nailed back stage by Melissa McCarthy. Wow, I really am watching The Brett Ratner Oscars.
Okay. Emma Stone officially best thing of the night so far. I WANT HER TO BE THE WHOLE SHOW.
The lack of focus on the actual films from THIS YEAR makes it jarring whenever they get to the nominees.
The Brett Ratner Oscars: While presenting, Michael Bay just groped a starlett and declared himself Zod, then flashed his abs.
The Brett Ratner Oscars: In honor of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Bieber performed over an interpretive dance of 9/11.
Love how they showed Whitney Houston while plugging the In Memoriam just to assure people she'll be in there.
Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis making a strong case for why they should have hosted.
Best songs aren't performed. Best pictures aren't featured. All so we can spend half the show talking about films from yesteryear.
BRETT! (McKenzie, not Ratner)
The Brett Ratner Oscars: In Memoriam performed by impersonators of dead celebrities, who were selected through a YouTube competition.
I still find it funny that the writer of Bats and Star Trek: Nemesis has been nominated for not one Oscar, but two.
@LJmysticowl I'm pretty sure Jolie sticking her leg out is the Brett Ratner Oscars.
Me: I couldn't see her leg. The mic stand was blocking it from view.
Community wins an Oscar! ............Shut up! Let me have this moment!
The Brett Ratner Oscars: Entire cast of The Help loudly condemns Tracy Morgan for his "tribute" of their film. Nick Nolte laughs his ass off.
The Brett Ratner Oscars: Milla Jovovich is presenting.... Oh, wait, that's at the real Oscars, too? Son of a...
The Brett Ratner Oscars: In the last hour, a drunk Brett Ratner stumbles on stage and points out which actresses in the audience he's banged.
The Brett Ratner Oscars: Everyone from The Artist who wins is forced to wrestle their statue from a mime.
Oh, thank god. Meryl remembered her glasses. No more letting David Fincher be a dick by swiping them.
A second reminder that WHITNEY IS YES INDEED IN THE MEMORIAM STOP WONDERING IF SHE ISN'T.
Why can't they just let Craig Ferguson host the Oscars with his robot skeleton and box of puppets? #assmode
"As you wish" followed by "With great power comes great responsibility." My eyes are jizzing tears.
ANDY SERKIS WAS ROBBED.
The Brett Ratner Oscars: Final award presented by Mel Gibson, who hobbles on stage, giggling, with the statue danging out of his open fly.
Can we just agree, as a species, that Meryl has reached the cutoff point for awards by now?
Tom Cruise should refuse to reveal the winning picture until everyone in the audience donates to the Church of Scientology.
While listing the best picture nominees, 8 films were applauded by all. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close had a single dude clapping.
@Eviey The guy who wrote the novel it's based on?
Me: Probably. The lone claps were accompanied by a single "Yeah!"
The Brett Ratner Oscars: Brett Ratner arrested at the end of the show when he gets angry and kicks the dog from The Artist.
The Brett Ratner Oscars: While being dragged off, Drunk Ratner calls Eddie Murphy a "fag". Murphy punches Ratner and is also arrested.
The Oscars were boring as hell tonight. At least I had the trashy thrills of the Brett Ratner Oscars to keep me going.
Signing off for the night before I start talking about Brett Ratner doing things with his penis while in the back of the squad car.
No, Billy Crystal wearing makeup to more closely resemble the specific entertainer he's doing an impression of is not blackface.
I'm surprised the Christopher Guest Performers don't have their own show that was cancelled after 6 episodes by now.
Love that the Transformers 3 nomination clip for sound mixing was of a screaming Shia.
The sketch that shows an Oscars hosted by The Muppets is just as boring as one hosted by anyone else.
Bits about the films from this year: 1. Bits about every film from the past: Lost count.
Downey seemed to have the start of a good bit there. Shame about how the rest of it played out.
The Brett Ratner Oscars: Montage of the year's cinematic F-Bombs has Plummer walk out of the show.
The Brett Ratner Oscars: Best makeup presented by Eddie Murphy and Adam Sandler made up as each other.
The Brett Ratner Oscars: I love how they transition to commericals with celebrity upskirt shots. I hope they do Miss Piggy next.
Billy Crystal seduced and nailed back stage by Melissa McCarthy. Wow, I really am watching The Brett Ratner Oscars.
Okay. Emma Stone officially best thing of the night so far. I WANT HER TO BE THE WHOLE SHOW.
The lack of focus on the actual films from THIS YEAR makes it jarring whenever they get to the nominees.
The Brett Ratner Oscars: While presenting, Michael Bay just groped a starlett and declared himself Zod, then flashed his abs.
The Brett Ratner Oscars: In honor of Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Bieber performed over an interpretive dance of 9/11.
Love how they showed Whitney Houston while plugging the In Memoriam just to assure people she'll be in there.
Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis making a strong case for why they should have hosted.
Best songs aren't performed. Best pictures aren't featured. All so we can spend half the show talking about films from yesteryear.
BRETT! (McKenzie, not Ratner)
The Brett Ratner Oscars: In Memoriam performed by impersonators of dead celebrities, who were selected through a YouTube competition.
I still find it funny that the writer of Bats and Star Trek: Nemesis has been nominated for not one Oscar, but two.
@LJmysticowl I'm pretty sure Jolie sticking her leg out is the Brett Ratner Oscars.
Me: I couldn't see her leg. The mic stand was blocking it from view.
Community wins an Oscar! ............Shut up! Let me have this moment!
The Brett Ratner Oscars: Entire cast of The Help loudly condemns Tracy Morgan for his "tribute" of their film. Nick Nolte laughs his ass off.
The Brett Ratner Oscars: Milla Jovovich is presenting.... Oh, wait, that's at the real Oscars, too? Son of a...
The Brett Ratner Oscars: In the last hour, a drunk Brett Ratner stumbles on stage and points out which actresses in the audience he's banged.
The Brett Ratner Oscars: Everyone from The Artist who wins is forced to wrestle their statue from a mime.
Oh, thank god. Meryl remembered her glasses. No more letting David Fincher be a dick by swiping them.
A second reminder that WHITNEY IS YES INDEED IN THE MEMORIAM STOP WONDERING IF SHE ISN'T.
Why can't they just let Craig Ferguson host the Oscars with his robot skeleton and box of puppets? #assmode
"As you wish" followed by "With great power comes great responsibility." My eyes are jizzing tears.
ANDY SERKIS WAS ROBBED.
The Brett Ratner Oscars: Final award presented by Mel Gibson, who hobbles on stage, giggling, with the statue danging out of his open fly.
Can we just agree, as a species, that Meryl has reached the cutoff point for awards by now?
Tom Cruise should refuse to reveal the winning picture until everyone in the audience donates to the Church of Scientology.
While listing the best picture nominees, 8 films were applauded by all. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close had a single dude clapping.
@Eviey The guy who wrote the novel it's based on?
Me: Probably. The lone claps were accompanied by a single "Yeah!"
The Brett Ratner Oscars: Brett Ratner arrested at the end of the show when he gets angry and kicks the dog from The Artist.
The Brett Ratner Oscars: While being dragged off, Drunk Ratner calls Eddie Murphy a "fag". Murphy punches Ratner and is also arrested.
The Oscars were boring as hell tonight. At least I had the trashy thrills of the Brett Ratner Oscars to keep me going.
Signing off for the night before I start talking about Brett Ratner doing things with his penis while in the back of the squad car.