thoughts on first loves
Why for some reason is it so hard to get over our first lover as some call it. There is the theory that some will never stop loving that person. I was thinking about it and trying to figure out why people can't seem to get over others from my own experience and several others. Its not so much that we loved the person....honestly how many of us actualy loved out first boyfriends or girlfriend? We don't understand the concept of real love but there is so much we share with that person. We don't like to admit it but they a have a part of us. They were a part of those first feelings, first kiss, first date first everything: these that ment so much are irreversible. I wish we were like a computer sometimes with a delete button to forget about things.......but then if I were a computer I'd so be screwed bc I don't understand them at all........For a while all we want is that one person back or so it seems despite the nasty break ups, broken hearts, and cold shoulders. I personaly could never figure out why I felt that way. I think it's not so much because we want that person back but that we want to have that part of us we lost to them back. We try so hard, think about it so much only making out lives miserable. In reality we have lost the firsts forever and the second won't be the same nor the thirds, perhaps they'll be better, possible worse but thats the chance we take. Firsts, what we lost in them, will never come back and its a hard concept to grasp....something we just kinda have to suck up and take. kinda sad really but thats growing up full of high hopes and regrets.
"you deserve so much better than me"..........thanks for that
i guess being sick gives me time to think random thoughts. i hate my low immune system but hey maybe the insite helps