My sept. 11th
My September 11th
As I woke that day I don't know what it was, and I won't till this day understand it, but I woke with an overwhelming sense of anxiety, and depression. I shrugged it off as another teenage angst kinda thing, not looking forward to going to school, not looking forward to dealing with stupid teachers, and asshole classmates, depressed about the recent crush treating me like shit, normal teenage things. I arrived late as usual, looked up at the school, only one more year to go I told myself, and I looked around to find my best friend standing infront of the doors in the cold morning air waiting for me. As I walked up to her and the looming school a head, I saw something in her eyes I couldn't place, she grabbed my arm and looked at me with the threat of tears running into her eyes, she said to me, and I shit you not. " I sware I woke up this morning and I felt like this was going to be the worst day of my life, of our lives.." I looked at her understanding, I to woke up not feeling right. I told her it was nothing, we will get out of here as soon as possible and make our way downtown to all of our other "Outkast" friends and have a great night, as usual. As we parted before the first bell I hugged her and said meet you at lunch. Well when the first plane hit I was skipping class and walking the halls, talking to all the other class skippers, joking and te heeing my way around, so the guards couldn't catch me. As I approached my away from real class haven, Drawing and painting class, she was the head teacher for the art department and let me skip my classes to devote my time to my true talent, and love, art...I busted into the room and blurted out "what the hell are all you bohemian's quite for." I turned to her cold dead glare and stopped, she looked at me in disbelief and I froze. She took me aside and told me what had happened, I slowly and quietly made my way out of the art room and swallowed my tears...I felt so bad, I had no idea what was going on, and I felt even worse by making them all think I was that heartless. I walked down into the lunch room and sat with the usual crowd in the back of the Cafeteria. Everyone was quiet today, no one really knew what to say, none of us could even say hi. As the bell rang the principal came onto the speakers and told everyone what was going on, and that the second plane had hit the second tower. Not a second later after his last word was said that the girl next to me started freaking out and fell onto the ground, I found out later, that she to had no idea what was going on, and that her father was attending buisness in the buildings that day..still to this day I have no idea if he lived or not, I don't think I ever saw her again in the halls. It became all to real to me, and all I could think about was Amber, she had tears in her eyes this morning, and she said to me, in a now chillin matter, "this is going to be the worst day of our lives." I panicked and searched the halls and class rooms for her. In the middle of all the commotion, everyone was out of class and running the halls, trying to find a room with a tv in it. As I searched and search the english teacher I had in tenth grade grabbed me up and dragged me to his class. I didn't want to go, I just wanted to find her, I needed to talk to her, but no he made me sit and watch the tv. And knowing full well what I was going to witness, I didn't think my eyes could take it, I didn't want to see it, to realize the reality of it. But I did. I saw everything, everything you all saw. People diving for there lives, flames, chaos. I kept thinking, I need to see my friend, I need to leave this hole, and I need to see my family. When I finally broke free from the horror on the TV I ran out of the classroom to run right smack into amber. We hugged, tears falling onto each of our shoulders, and decided to gather a group of people to leave school. We only could find one person out of our group of friends who was still in school, so we walked out the doors into a sunny afternoon and ran to take the next city bus downtown. When we arrived it was evident that everyone downtown knew about the towers. We all hugged and cried, and hugged some more. And some of the cynics, who I still could not belive, said some pretty nasty things, and heated discussion arose. In the middle of all this I realized that I hadn't talked to my mother. I walked to the nearest phonebooth and called her. As her voice came over the phone I could hear the pain and tears she had given out. She cried more when I told her it was me, she wanted me home, wanted me near, she said that my step-father had to go on base asap. That he might have to go to NY to help out,being he was a captain in the army, and also one of the head medics. I froze, my step father and I had never had the best relationship, but I certainly loved him enough where this froze my heart and made me cry more then I have ever cried that day. I hung up the phone and ran to my "Crush" at the time, and hugged him. We just sat underneath the trees by the river and talked, he told me not to worry, that everything was going to be ok, and that my step father would not be harmed. I knew I had to go home but I didn't want to leave my dearest friends, but I had to my mother needed me. I went home to find the house dark, and cold, I could hear the TV coming from upstairs, and my mother crying. I consoled her as much as I could and by ten thirty at night, my stepfather hadn't called. We were worried they sent him there without even giving him time to call us first. I remember my sister and brother calling a few times in the day to check up, but no news. Around twelve at night, while me and my mom were cuddled under the sheets watching the TV He came thru the doors and my mother leaped out of bed and he wished her into his arms, he said that even though he would have gone no matter what, they didn't need hime right now, but he was oncall, and if he had to go, he had to go. We all understood, it was a good deed, and he would be useful. But that call never came. Weeks went by and every where I went it was about that towers, a month after it happened, to the day, all of us downtown brought a candel and sat around in a circle, and there were about 60 of us down there, we all lit them up and sang our favorite songs together. We all had to do something, we cried, we laughed, we hugged, we froze, but we all sat there for hours just waiting for our candels to melt away. I don't remember when it happened, but we all soon seemed to forge the horrible tragedy and went on with our lives. Every once in a while I would stop and feel horrible, how could I just forget that, how could we all just move on. didn't even seem real anymore. But...Just like after the JFK assasination...eventually we all had to move on. to live our lives to the fullest, because one way or another, our heart would always be with the people who lost their lives, and gave their lives up for that disaster, but they would never want us to end ours. I for one have never truly forgotten that day, and still to this day I know exactly how I felt, and still feel the same way. It is a tragedy when something like this happens. And I give my deepest sympathies to everyone who lost there loved ones, there lives, and there security. I have found that this one event has made me realize that one of the most important things right now, in this year, is to vote. I don't know how many BUSH fans will be reading this passage, but I am voting, and I want to make others vote to, because everyone who doesn't vote, is either a vote against kerry or a vote against bush, which ever you decide to vote for, you should still vote. I for one am voting for Kerry. But thats my personal opinion, I don't want that fascist dictator ruling our country anymore. So Please keep this in mind, and vote. EVERY VOTE COUNTS!!! :) Thanks for reading this, thanks for baring with me, and I feel priviledged to share my story, and opinions with all of you.
Love Always
Rae M. B
As I woke that day I don't know what it was, and I won't till this day understand it, but I woke with an overwhelming sense of anxiety, and depression. I shrugged it off as another teenage angst kinda thing, not looking forward to going to school, not looking forward to dealing with stupid teachers, and asshole classmates, depressed about the recent crush treating me like shit, normal teenage things. I arrived late as usual, looked up at the school, only one more year to go I told myself, and I looked around to find my best friend standing infront of the doors in the cold morning air waiting for me. As I walked up to her and the looming school a head, I saw something in her eyes I couldn't place, she grabbed my arm and looked at me with the threat of tears running into her eyes, she said to me, and I shit you not. " I sware I woke up this morning and I felt like this was going to be the worst day of my life, of our lives.." I looked at her understanding, I to woke up not feeling right. I told her it was nothing, we will get out of here as soon as possible and make our way downtown to all of our other "Outkast" friends and have a great night, as usual. As we parted before the first bell I hugged her and said meet you at lunch. Well when the first plane hit I was skipping class and walking the halls, talking to all the other class skippers, joking and te heeing my way around, so the guards couldn't catch me. As I approached my away from real class haven, Drawing and painting class, she was the head teacher for the art department and let me skip my classes to devote my time to my true talent, and love, art...I busted into the room and blurted out "what the hell are all you bohemian's quite for." I turned to her cold dead glare and stopped, she looked at me in disbelief and I froze. She took me aside and told me what had happened, I slowly and quietly made my way out of the art room and swallowed my tears...I felt so bad, I had no idea what was going on, and I felt even worse by making them all think I was that heartless. I walked down into the lunch room and sat with the usual crowd in the back of the Cafeteria. Everyone was quiet today, no one really knew what to say, none of us could even say hi. As the bell rang the principal came onto the speakers and told everyone what was going on, and that the second plane had hit the second tower. Not a second later after his last word was said that the girl next to me started freaking out and fell onto the ground, I found out later, that she to had no idea what was going on, and that her father was attending buisness in the buildings that day..still to this day I have no idea if he lived or not, I don't think I ever saw her again in the halls. It became all to real to me, and all I could think about was Amber, she had tears in her eyes this morning, and she said to me, in a now chillin matter, "this is going to be the worst day of our lives." I panicked and searched the halls and class rooms for her. In the middle of all the commotion, everyone was out of class and running the halls, trying to find a room with a tv in it. As I searched and search the english teacher I had in tenth grade grabbed me up and dragged me to his class. I didn't want to go, I just wanted to find her, I needed to talk to her, but no he made me sit and watch the tv. And knowing full well what I was going to witness, I didn't think my eyes could take it, I didn't want to see it, to realize the reality of it. But I did. I saw everything, everything you all saw. People diving for there lives, flames, chaos. I kept thinking, I need to see my friend, I need to leave this hole, and I need to see my family. When I finally broke free from the horror on the TV I ran out of the classroom to run right smack into amber. We hugged, tears falling onto each of our shoulders, and decided to gather a group of people to leave school. We only could find one person out of our group of friends who was still in school, so we walked out the doors into a sunny afternoon and ran to take the next city bus downtown. When we arrived it was evident that everyone downtown knew about the towers. We all hugged and cried, and hugged some more. And some of the cynics, who I still could not belive, said some pretty nasty things, and heated discussion arose. In the middle of all this I realized that I hadn't talked to my mother. I walked to the nearest phonebooth and called her. As her voice came over the phone I could hear the pain and tears she had given out. She cried more when I told her it was me, she wanted me home, wanted me near, she said that my step-father had to go on base asap. That he might have to go to NY to help out,being he was a captain in the army, and also one of the head medics. I froze, my step father and I had never had the best relationship, but I certainly loved him enough where this froze my heart and made me cry more then I have ever cried that day. I hung up the phone and ran to my "Crush" at the time, and hugged him. We just sat underneath the trees by the river and talked, he told me not to worry, that everything was going to be ok, and that my step father would not be harmed. I knew I had to go home but I didn't want to leave my dearest friends, but I had to my mother needed me. I went home to find the house dark, and cold, I could hear the TV coming from upstairs, and my mother crying. I consoled her as much as I could and by ten thirty at night, my stepfather hadn't called. We were worried they sent him there without even giving him time to call us first. I remember my sister and brother calling a few times in the day to check up, but no news. Around twelve at night, while me and my mom were cuddled under the sheets watching the TV He came thru the doors and my mother leaped out of bed and he wished her into his arms, he said that even though he would have gone no matter what, they didn't need hime right now, but he was oncall, and if he had to go, he had to go. We all understood, it was a good deed, and he would be useful. But that call never came. Weeks went by and every where I went it was about that towers, a month after it happened, to the day, all of us downtown brought a candel and sat around in a circle, and there were about 60 of us down there, we all lit them up and sang our favorite songs together. We all had to do something, we cried, we laughed, we hugged, we froze, but we all sat there for hours just waiting for our candels to melt away. I don't remember when it happened, but we all soon seemed to forge the horrible tragedy and went on with our lives. Every once in a while I would stop and feel horrible, how could I just forget that, how could we all just move on. didn't even seem real anymore. But...Just like after the JFK assasination...eventually we all had to move on. to live our lives to the fullest, because one way or another, our heart would always be with the people who lost their lives, and gave their lives up for that disaster, but they would never want us to end ours. I for one have never truly forgotten that day, and still to this day I know exactly how I felt, and still feel the same way. It is a tragedy when something like this happens. And I give my deepest sympathies to everyone who lost there loved ones, there lives, and there security. I have found that this one event has made me realize that one of the most important things right now, in this year, is to vote. I don't know how many BUSH fans will be reading this passage, but I am voting, and I want to make others vote to, because everyone who doesn't vote, is either a vote against kerry or a vote against bush, which ever you decide to vote for, you should still vote. I for one am voting for Kerry. But thats my personal opinion, I don't want that fascist dictator ruling our country anymore. So Please keep this in mind, and vote. EVERY VOTE COUNTS!!! :) Thanks for reading this, thanks for baring with me, and I feel priviledged to share my story, and opinions with all of you.
Love Always
Rae M. B