What If God? (Part Two)
What If God?
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Part Two
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Present day...
“Where was your weapon?” Jack asked.
Regan shook his head. “I don’t know. I never found it. Maybe it was under the rubble. Maybe Rick took it from me while I was out."
“Colonel Fischer didn’t hear your radio call.”
Regan shook his head helplessly. “It must have been damaged in the explosion. Maybe it could receive, but not send. But I *know* I transmitted a call for help.”
“We’re checking into it,” Jack assured. “In the meantime, your C.O. isn’t sure what to think.”
“Apparently not.” Regan cast his eyes to the ground and shrugged. “Apparently, serving under him for two years isn’t enough to give me the benefit of the doubt.”
Jack leaned forward in his chair. “Apparently, serving under him for two years wasn’t enough for you to trust him to help when you realized Bierle was stalking Daniel.”
Regan ducked his head down further.
“This all could have been avoided had you opened your mouth months ago -- hell, even if you had said something in the gate room before you left!” Jack glared at the man, who was now rubbing the knuckle of his thumb. “You put friendship before duty, Captain. You put saving your family before saving a civilian you were supposed to be protecting.”
Regan didn’t look up. He simply nodded and whispered, “Yes, sir.”
“What happened next?” Jack asked coldly.
*************
1950 GMT 28-Apr
Planet Designation PR6-541
Matt continued his fruitless search for his P-90, while his sister’s husband continued reciting bible verses. Occasionally, Matt could hear Jackson say something, but Rick seemed to be ignoring him, reading one verse after another without pausing.
Frustrated, Matt gave up on his weapon and made his way around to near where Dr. Jackson lay on the ground. He saw Rick close his bible, keeping a finger as a placeholder.
“Dr. Jackson, you presume to encroach upon the realm of God. You’re not God.”
“Funny,” Jackson breathed, closing his eyes. “I don’t recall...ever having...claimed to be.”
“But what you’ve done-- You died. You ascended. That’s only for God. And there is only one God.”
“I think... there are some…” Jackson tried futilely to raise himself up, but only managed to shift enough to rest his head against the column. ”...people who might have... other thoughts.”
“Maybe. But we are all called by Jesus to help them to see the truth.”
“Your truth... isn’t it?”
“The truth, Dr. Jackson.” Rick turned a page.
To Jackson’s left, Matt emerged from the shadows and rose slowly to his feet. This was it.
“Rick.”
Rick glanced up at Matt and smiled. “Matt, you’re okay. Good.” He turned back to his bible. “You can help me.”
“No.” Matt shook his head and shuffled slowly forward. Rick looked up at him, puzzled. “I’m not going to help you do this.”
The other man cocked his head at him. “You just don’t understand how important this is, Matt.”
“What’s important is that you stop this. Now.”
Rick gaped at him, a look of incredulity on his face. “I can’t stop this! Don’t you see? I have to expose what he’s doing -- people have to know we’ve been tempted.”
“No. You’re wrong. You’ve made this into something it’s not. You need to stop, take a breath, and think about what you’re really doing.”
Matt’s radio continued to pop and crackle. Fischer was yelling something into it, but the static and interference made it impossible to understand.
His brother-in-law closed the book. “You don’t care about the peril we’re in?”
“What peril? There’s no peril, Rick!” Matt started towards Rick, but Rick raised his handgun.
Matt stopped and gazed at the gun. He doubted his friend’s resolve, yet... “You gonna shoot me now? This is so important you’re going to shoot me? You gonna throw your life away? You gonna toss away your family?”
Rick opened his mouth but didn’t say anything for a few bewildering moments. When he finally spoke, his voice was ominous in the stillness.
“This is the mission God has charged me with, my purpose for being here. I’ve made peace with what I’m doing and that I might not survive it.”
Matt was stunned into silence as he took in the determination in his friend’s face, his resolute conviction he was justified in murdering someone.
Rick pointed at Daniel. “This is a false god. He didn’t die. He didn’t ascend. It’s a lie. All of it -- a lie to discredit God, to mock the faithful, to undermine our belief system. And I’m going to prove it.”
Matt’s was incredulous. What the hell did he mean by that?
Matt glanced down at Jackson, who seemed to be fighting to stay conscious. Jackson needed medical attention *now*. He moved to Daniel’s right side and crouched down to feel for his pulse. His pulse was fast, breathing labored. Jackson’s holster was empty. Where the hell was Jackson’s sidearm? He turned to Rick again.
“Prove it, how? How do you prove he’s a false god if he never claimed to be one to begin with?”
Rick paused, thinking. “Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves. You will know them by their acts. Matthew 7, 15 and 16. ”
“It’s...’by their *fruits*’... actually.” Jackson corrected weakly.
“’Prophets’. Not God. Please. Stop this and let me help him.” Matt pleaded, just as he heard noises by the rubble in the doorway.
“Just wait, Matt. If he’s truly God, he’ll ascend.”
“What?” Matt was horrified.
“We’ll wait till after he dies, and watch.”
“I’m not going to let him die, Rick.” Matt pulled off his jacket and laid it over Jackson, who looked up at him through half-closed lids.
Rick shrugged and lowered his weapon, but still kept it ready. “Whatever the Lord wills.” Picking up his bible again, he opened it to another marked passage and read aloud. ”You said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will...”
Matt looked down at Jackson. The scientist was pale and clammy, his eyes unfocused.
“...I will make myself like the Most High.’ But you are brought down to the grave, to the depths of the pit. Isaiah 14, 13 through 15.”
“Dr. Jackson, I’m sorry,” Matt whispered. “I... I never thought he would do anything like this. He was never...”
Jackson’s eyes shifted to look at him. His nod was barely perceptible before the man finally closed his eyes, his rasping breaths the only reassurance that he was still there.
Matt worried his lower lip and looked around for something he could use to staunch the bleeding. Jackson’s pack was a few feet to the right, and Matt snagged it and dragged it closer.
He could hear scraping noises from the direction of the antechamber. Matt glanced briefly over at the caved-in doorway, then back to Rick who continued to read aloud passage after passage. His friend seemed to not hear their teams were trying to get through the blocked entrance. Or maybe he did hear and didn’t care.
Still, Matt felt he needed to capture Rick’s attention. And it was clear how to do it.
“You’ve lost your faith, haven’t you?”
Rick stopped reading and looked up at him. “Hardly.”
“That’s it, isn’t it?”
Rick narrowed his eyes. “No.”
“You did. Why else would you be doing all this?”
The lieutenant blinked and shifted uncomfortably while Matt pulled out a t-shirt from Jackson’s pack.
“You’re not trying to prove to everyone else that he’s *not* God. You’re trying to prove that God is still God. Because *you* don’t believe it anymore. Because *you* lost your faith.”
Drawing back, Rick looked at his friend malevolently. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Sure, I do,” Matt pressed. “If Jackson can ascend, then who was Jesus? What was Jesus? That’s what you’re asking yourself.”
Rick was clearly caught off-guard, mouth gaping as his mind seemed to search for the words to put there. He looked at his bible.
Matt took advantage of his distraction to wad up the t-shirt and put it over the wound. As he lifted his jacket and tugged at Jackson’s BDU shirt, he saw that Jackson’s fingers were on the handle of his Beretta, which was lodged under his right hip.
“That’s blasphemy!” Rick raged.
Matt looked up at him fiercely, “Hey, I’m not the one who cooked up this lunatic scheme to murder someone so I could feel better about God!”
“That’s not what I’m doing!” Rick shouted back.
Rocks cascaded down the uppermost pile of rubble and light pierced the dark confines of the temple chamber. Shouts rang out from the other side as the teams pushed through. Startled, Rick stood up and looked at the doorway.
Matt had to get him to listen.
“Rick, you can stop this now. Put the gun down, and let’s get Dr. Jackson out of here.”
Rick continued to stare at the door, shaking his head. “No. I can’t... I can’t fail my mission.”
“What about Katie? What about your unborn son? Do you want him to grow up without you?” Matt was pleading.
Rick looked intently at Matt for a few dazed moments. “Son? I’m... I’m having a son?” he whispered.
“Yes. Yes, you are. Katie let it slip it’s a boy.” Matt’s sister had sworn him to secrecy.
“A boy...” Rick said distractedly. “My son.”
“Yes. Your son. Your boy. And I’m going to have a nephew. Come on, man. Please!”
“I...” Tears brimmed Rick’s eyes.
“Please, Rick, he’s gonna need his father. My sister is going to need her husband. Please!” Matt’s eyes were also filling. Leavenworth was better than death. He had to make him see that.
“I...” Rick looked at him helplessly, a tear escaping down his face. He swallowed deep then cleared his throat. “I... have a mission. I have to do this for my son. I have to see this through. Jesus died for me. He’ll forgive...”
The hole in the door widened, more light spilled into the chamber. Matt couldn’t see around the altar, but it was obvious the teams were crawling through the gap.
“Rick, please, I’m begging you. Lemme take you home. We can get you help.”
“Regan! Bierle!” Alvarez shouted angrily, but Rick had raised his handgun and was pointing it at Jackson. A gunshot shook the chamber, showering it with debris and dust and chaos.
*************
Present day...
Jack reached for the file on the floor, giving Regan a break. The other man had retreated to the bunk, his back to the wall, knees drawn to his chest and his head in his hands.
Jack flipped through the file for a few moments. He believed Regan. Bad judgment. Miscommunication. No communication. It was conceivable Regan wouldn’t do any time, but whether he was going to be transferred to another assignment, busted down to private, maybe even discharged, Jack couldn’t guess. He certainly wasn’t going to be working at Stargate Command. Hammond took dereliction of duty very seriously.
Regan swiped angrily at his eyes and finally looked up.
“So, after Dr. Jackson fired the gun?” Jack asked.
“I saw-” Regan stopped abruptly, and stared at Jack. Then just as quickly, his gaze shifted to the floor. “Uh... I saw Rick on the ground. I went over to help, but Major Alvarez pulled me away and told me to get out. The rest of my team and SG-11 were there trying to help Dr. Jackson. Trying to get him and Rick out of there.” He let out an exhausted sigh. “The rest you know, sir.”
Jack studied the man for a few more moments, then nodded and closed the file.
“You’ll be meeting with a JAG lawyer this afternoon,” he told the marine, who responded with a silent nod. “In the meantime, I’ll be talking with General Hammond.”
“Yes, sir,” Regan whispered.
Jack stood up and moved the chair back to where it belonged, then turned to face Regan. “I won’t pull any punches, Regan. This whole thing tanked because you didn’t act when you had the chance. We depend on the good judgment of our people in the field. Good judgment gets people home safely.”
Regan nodded again, gazing sadly at his hands in his lap. “I know tha... I knew that, sir. And no one is as sorry as I am about this whole damned, fucked up mess.”
Jack looked at the man for a moment, then sighed heavily and knocked on the window of the cell door. A moment later, the SF stationed outside pushed open the door.
“Colonel?” Jack stopped and turned back to Regan. The younger officer was rubbing at his thumb again. “How is Dr. Jackson?”
Jack swallowed hard. “I don’t know.”
Regan looked down. “For what it’s worth, he’s in my prayers, sir.”
Jack stared at Regan for a few awkward moments. Daniel was in his prayers? In his prayers? What the hell good was that? What balls! If Regan had done his duty, there wouldn’t be any need for his damned, useless prayers. What could Jack say to that? What could he say to a man whose silence and misplaced loyalty may have cost him Daniel?
Overcome by a sense déjà vu, he left the cell without saying anything. He had no idea what he would have done or said had he stayed, but the file folder bore the brunt of his clenched fist.
He was headed towards General Hammond’s office, but instead, found himself getting off the elevator at the infirmary level. He needed reassurance. He needed to see this wasn’t history repeating itself. He needed to see Daniel.
Janet Frasier saw him coming and met him at the window of the ICU. Jack peered in to look at Daniel. A nurse was hanging another bag of fluids and making notes on a chart.
“His vitals are improving,” Janet said quietly. “Of course, he’s still not out of the woods, but things are going in the right direction.”
Jack nodded grimly. “Can I go in, doc?”
“I just had to shoo Teal’c away, sir.”
A few moments of silence passed before Jack heard Janet sigh.
“Five minutes, sir. Please, try not to disturb him. He…”
Jack didn’t wait for her to finish the sentence, getting his butt into the ICU before she could change her mind. The ICU nurse had just put Daniel’s chart away and, careful of her patient's welfare, nearly stopped Jack. He appreciated the show of concern for Daniel, but even so, something in his expression made her back off and instead retreat meekly to her station.
Setting his folder down at the foot of the bed, Jack stood there and watched Daniel sleep. They’d been through this before; the nasal cannula, the IV drips, the beeps and wooshes of monitors and machines. No privacy.
That was the hardest part -- watching and not being able to touch. Jack’s jaw clenched as memories of another time, of another zealotry, of small-minded paranoia and incompetence, of.... death, way too damn close.
“Aw, Danny,” Jack whispered. Unconsciously, he laid a hand on Daniel’s foot and swallowed hard. Then, in a low voice he addressed the ceiling. “Oma, if you’re hanging around, unless you can do something productive like heal him without the glowy strings attached, then do it. Otherwise, go the hell away.”
His gaze fell back on Daniel, who, surprisingly, was returning his gaze through half-lidded eyes.
“Daniel?”
“She’s... not... here,” Daniel whispered weakly, a small grin on his face.
Jack moved to the head of the bed and looked for the nurse, who was already moving towards them. Cupping the top of Daniel’s head, he said, “Hey.”
Daniel smiled and closed his eyes. “Hey.”
The nurse was there and touched Daniel’s arm. “Dr. Jackson?” Daniel opened his eyes, and she said, “Welcome back. I’ll get Dr. Frasier.” And she was gone again.
Daniel nodded and closed his eyes again as Jack leaned in close to his ear, lightly stroking his hair. “You sure Oma’s not here?”
Daniel breathed, “Positive.”
“Okay,” Jack said cautiously, wondering - worrying how Daniel could tell, but willing to take his word for it. At least for now. “That’s a good sign, right?”
Daniel opened his eyes again, staring up into Jack’s. “I’m not... going any...where, Jack,” he said, weak but quietly assured. “Promise.”
Jack had somehow managed to thread the fingers of his other hand through Daniel’s. He gazed a bit longer at the exhausted deep blue of his lover’s eyes and swallowed hard. “Okay.” Squeezing Daniel’s hand, Jack dipped his forehead so it touched Daniel’s, reveling in the feel of Daniel’s pulse and the warmth of his breath.
“I have to go see General Hammond,” Jack said after only a few snatched moments of peace.
Daniel was too tired to protest. Reluctantly, Jack pulled away, giving Daniel’s hand another squeeze before letting go just as Janet and the nurse entered the ICU.
“Sir, I need to check on Daniel,” Frasier said, stepping into Jack’s space. “I have to ask you to step outside.”
“I’m going, I’m going,” Jack said, already making his way to the exit. Grabbing the folder on Regan, Jack looked again at Daniel, pleased to find him still watching and even feebly smiling.
Jack returned his smile and let go a huge sigh, his first release of tension since Daniel was hurt, before turning and leaving the ICU.
************
Jack stood looking out of the window of the briefing room, having just finished his report to General Hammond. The general leaned back in his chair, waiting patiently for Jack to say something, but he was silent. He just stood there in a paralyzing rage.
Teal’c was there, too, seated at the table, scowling, his jaws tightly clenched. His hands were folded, as if loosening them would unleash his own fury.
Any other day Jack could and would rant on incessantly about properly vetting personnel, about incompetence, about stupid mistakes that got people killed, about inbred, knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathers who got people killed. But the only person he wanted to kill was dead. And he couldn’t beat the shit out of the guy who could have prevented all this, because apparently, they court martial people for that.
What could he say? And besides, he wouldn’t be telling the general anything the general didn’t already know.
Jack made his way back to the table and sat down. “Do you believe, after all this, that asshole had the balls to tell me Daniel was in his prayers?” Jack said disgustedly, folding his hands on the table.
General Hammond pondered Regan’s prayers for a moment. “A nice gesture.” Jack peered up at the general, who shrugged. “He can’t change what happened. If he is genuinely remorseful, this is really all he can do.”
“He can shove his prayers up his ass sideways,” Jack said leaning back in his chair. “I’ve about had it with zealots.”
“Would not the zealot be Lieutenant Bierle, O’Neill?” asked Teal’c.
Jack shot Teal’c a withering glance, then said to Hammond, “How could someone like Bierle have slipped under our radar?”
The general shook his head. “Everyone goes through the same screening process, Colonel. Their service record is reviewed -- education, medical, legal, family history. And of course there’s the psychological evaluation. The lieutenant’s record was clean, he had outstanding ratings from his commanding officers prior to being recommended for the Stargate Program. You read his file, too.”
Jack’s gaze fell back on the tabletop.
“Jack, from what you described as Captain Regan’s experience with Lieutenant Bierle, even he didn’t expect this kind of behavior from his friend. Obviously, the trigger for Bierle’s... breakdown, for lack of a better word, was Dr. Jackson’s experience as an ascended being.”
General Hammond sighed. “You know me, Jack. I’m a religious man, I attend church regularly and believe in the gospel, and I’ll be honest: after Dr. Jackson... ascended...”
Hammond let the thought die, but Jack understood what the older man was trying to say. Daniel’s ascension caused those who had witnessed it to question, to wonder. Jack had been too overwhelmed with grief and anger at the time to care, but later when he allowed himself to think about it, some interesting correlations came to mind.
“Yes, sir.” Jack did understand. “It crossed my mind, but not being that religious to begin with...”
The general dipped his head in acknowledgment. “Someone of Bierle’s background -- missionary parents, devout, dogmatic... Clearly, we need to reconsider our screening process, maybe even the briefings for new recruits, although I’m not sure that will completely eliminate the potential for a repeat.”
“So we need to make sure the existing teams are watching out for this kind of crap,” Jack said.
“I’m way ahead of you, Colonel,” the General said. “I’ve already scheduled a meeting with the team leaders to discuss just that.”
“Good.”
Hammond sat in silence for a few long moments. “We have a more pressing issue.” Teal’c and Jack exchanged glances before the general spoke. “I’ve canceled Captain Regan’s meeting with the JAG lawyer. It won’t be necessary. I won’t be pursuing any criminal charges against him.”
Before Jack could open his mouth, Hammond raised a hand.
“It’s clear from your report he had no knowledge of Lieutenant Bierle’s plans,” the general explained. “Up until this mission, he’s been a good and reliable officer. Still, it doesn’t negate the fact he showed very poor judgment; serious dereliction of duty. I’m recommending a demotion and reassignment elsewhere.”
“Sir, I--”
“My concern, Colonel, is that pursuing this matter further would bring in even more players and more light on the Stargate Program, and draw even more unwanted attention to Dr. Jackson’s rather... extraordinary experiences. I’d just as soon not have a repeat of what happened after Dr. Jackson’s return to from the ‘dead’.”
Jack dropped his sullen gaze to the floor, remembering the very intense, harrowing days immediately following their bringing Daniel home from Vis Uban. Word had spread of Daniel’s return from the higher plane, and the NID wanted him. Wanted to see if Daniel had any latent abilities he couldn’t remember, wanted to question him, test him, and -- Jack would bet his mortgage -- experiment on him. They’d received authorization to remove Daniel to Area 51, and were hours away from doing so, but Hammond had pitched a fit, phoning the president, calling in every favor owed to keep Daniel out of their hands. Jack had never seen Hammond so angry, and so determined.
“We managed to ride out the storm then, Jack,” Hammond said gently. “But I knew the players and I could control the flow of information. Pursuing this... I just can’t guarantee I’ll be able to maintain that level of need-to-know, and God only knows where it could go from there, particularly with Kinsey as vice president and...”
Two of Jack’s hot buttons lit up.
“Well, maybe a cold dose of ascension reality for Kinsey and some of his right wing, religious nut job cronies and political hacks might be in order,” Jack said sourly. “Hey, Kinsey!” he called to the invisible vice president. “Hang onto to your bible! The Buddhists are right!”
Teal’c’s eyebrow road up his forehead, while the General leaned forward in his chair, placing his clasped hands on the table. “Jack, do you really believe certain people of this world are ready to hear about this? A modern-day man’s ascension to a different plane of existence?”
“Why not? Why not help get some of these people to do some critical thinking for a change. What a concept!”
General Hammond said nothing and Teal’c leaned back in his chair.
“O’Neill, we have seen how one very pious man behaved with the knowledge of Daniel Jackson’s ascension,” Teal’c said gravely, steepling his fingers. He looked at General Hammond. “Widespread knowledge of this could have grave implications among many of the Tau’ri.”
“It could,” Hammond solemnly agreed. “Mostly political. And ideological. We have far too many ideologues in power, and they are masters at manipulation and spread fear. As things stand right now, Kinsey can’t throw his weight around as he’d like because not enough of his people know about the Stargate Program. At least, not officially.”
“Hypocritical, power-mongering, self-serving dickhead,” Jack mumbled, contemplating the window overlooking the gate room. He hadn’t meant for the general to hear that, but he heard Hammond chuckle lightly.
“I believe it to be a wiser course to, as you say, allow sleeping dogs to lie.” Teal’c offered.
“I agree,” Hammond said.
Jack looked at Teal’c. “T, that’s surprising coming from you. Your experience with false gods... I would think--”
“I do not believe all gods are false, O’Neill,” Teal’c answered, cocking his head. “Nor am I prepared to judge those worshipped by the Tau’ri as such.”
Jack steamed quietly for a few moments before the general spoke. “I know you want to throw the book at him, but I strongly believe revealing the source of Bierle’s... delusions, to an even wider circle of people, would be a serious mistake. At least, at this time.”
Jack pursed his lips. Of course, the general was right. Jack knew it even before opening his mouth to protest, knew it as soon as Fischer delivered his initial report to Jack and Hammond upon their return from the planet.
This would have to stay quiet, minimize the number of people involved, silence the reasons for Bierle’s delusional behavior, keep Daniel far away from other Bierles.
Jack felt the general’s gaze on him and looked up. He grimaced and then nodded his understanding.
“Yes, sir,” he said. “You’re right.”
Hammond cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair. “I should point out, Jack,” Hammond added with a wry smile, “there are far more reasonable, sensible, compassionate and intelligent people of faith in this world than there are extremists and ‘nut jobs’.”
“Yes, sir,” Jack conceded, suitably chastised.
General Hammond sighed and glanced at his watch. “Well, I’m briefing Colonel Fischer and Major Alvarez on your interview with Regan in about 15 minutes and getting their feedback and ideas. I’ll let you know what comes of it.” Rising from his chair, he looked at the two members of SG-1 who also stood. “Colonel, your written report can wait until the morning. Why don’t you two go see how our boy’s doing?”
“Thanks, General,” Jack said as Teal’c dipped his head to Hammond.
“Meanwhile, I better give Major Carter a call,” the general said, starting for his office and shaking his head in feigned annoyance. “She’s left four voice mails asking after Dr. Jackson, and no one’s returning her calls.” He spared a pointed glare over his shoulder at his 2IC before disappearing into his office.
Jack winced. “My bad.”
He glanced at Teal’c and chose to ignore the man’s accusing eyebrow.
“Come on, T,” he said, bumping shoulders with him and heading for the exit. “Let’s go see Daniel.”
********
Jack and Teal’c stood side-by-side at the window of the ICU gazing in at their sleeping teammate. Jack wasn’t interested in what he could see on the monitors, just watching the easy rise and fall of Daniel’s chest was enough. And for some odd reason, it occurred to Jack to offer up a prayer of thanks to whatever Higher Power that watches over space-traveling, Goa’uld-baiting, gun-toting, too-damned-smart-for-their-own-good archaeologists.
So he did.
“Daniel Jackson seems to be doing well,” Teal’c said, not taking his eyes away from his friend in the bed.
“Yeah,” Jack said quietly, but with more confidence than he had just a few hours before. “According to him, Oma’s not hanging around, so...”
Teal’c nodded. “So perhaps Oma Desala knows she is not needed.”
“Nope.” Even if she were, Jack wasn’t about to let Daniel go anywhere without him. Package deal, Oma, Jack thought. Me and Daniel. Daniel and me. Where he goes, I go. No negotiating.
The familiar sound of quick heels on linoleum signaled the arrival of Janet Frasier. She offered the two men a warm smile when she joined them at the window.
“He’s running a low-grade fever, but he’s still doing well,” Janet said, staring at her patient. “He’ll have a long recovery, and when he’s released, he’ll need live-in support for a while.”
She glanced up at Jack, who replied simply, “Already got that covered, Doc.”
“Good,” she said. “While you were gone, Daniel asked what happened with Captain Regan and Lieutenant Bierle. He was worried about Regan, but then he wanted to know if Bierle was in custody.” Jack looked at Janet, confused. “Daniel said to remind everyone Bierle was sick and needs help.”
After a few moments of stunned silence, Jack asked, “He doesn’t remember?”
“Apparently not.”
“Does Daniel Jackson suffer from amnesia?” asked Teal’c.
Janet shrugged, “Could be -- he lost a lot of blood, but I doubt it. Maybe there’s some psychological trauma playing with his memory.
“Maybe,” Jack agreed, turning back to the window. “I’d rather he didn’t remember shooting Bierle. He’s got enough to deal with, just trying to understand why Bierle shot him.”
Janet glanced back at Jack. “Dr. Jackson killed Lieutenant Bierle?”
“Yeah,” Jack explained. “Well, at least that’s what Major Alvarez said. Daniel’s service weapon was on the ground by his side, and it had been fired. Regan was with Bierle on the ground.”
Janet shook her head. “I don’t think Daniel did it, sir.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Well, I operated on Bierle. The bullet entered his chest at a very slight angle downward. According to Corporal Eaton, Bierle was standing just before he was shot. To get that angle of entry, Daniel would have had to have been standing, too.”
Jack stared off in the distance as this new realization clicked into place.
Teal’c looked at Jack. “The others also reported that when they entered the chamber, they observed Lieutenant Bierle on his feet, aiming his weapon.”
Jack returned Teal’c gaze. “And they heard the gunshot and saw Bierle fall. When they got through all the rubble, they found Captain Regan holding Bierle in his arms.”
“With Daniel Jackson’s weapon at his side and Captain Regan holding Lieutenant Bierle, an assumption was made.”
“Regan,” Jack declared in a low tone. He leaned back against the ICU window.
Janet asked, “Did Captain Regan say Daniel shot Lieutenant Bierle?”
“No.” Jack said, thinking carefully. “No, he didn’t. And he didn’t correct me when I mentioned Daniel’s shooting Bierle, either.”
Jack turned and leaned on the rim of the window, peering in thoughtfully at Daniel’s slumbering form. Slumbering only because Regan finally decided to act. Because Regan stopped his best friend, his sister’s husband, father of his unborn nephew, from finishing what he...
“Regan saved Daniel’s life,” Jack confirmed.
Somewhat incredulous, Janet asked, “Why didn’t he say anything? Why did he let everyone think Daniel did it?”
“Perhaps it is because he did not want to do it,” Teal’c speculated.
Jack was inclined to agree with Teal’c. Considering Regan’s current situation -- his newly-widowed sister due any day, he’s the reason she’s newly-widowed though she doesn’t know it yet, he’s about to be demoted to lieutenant (or worse) and reassigned...
But he saved Daniel. Yeah, kinda late in the game, but he came through in the end.
Jack suddenly felt a little sorry for the guy. A little.
“General Hammond is meeting with Fischer and Alvarez,” Jack said. “They need to know this.”
“I will inform them,” Teal’c said, stepping away from the window. “In the meantime, perhaps Dr. Frasier will allow one of us to see Daniel Jackson.”
Janet glared at him as he started for the exit. “Subtle, Teal’c.”
Teal’c glanced back at her when he reached the door, his signature smirk on his face.
“Thanks, T,” Jack called to him. The other man nodded and disappeared out the door.
“Hmph,” Janet said, folding her arms and staring disapprovingly at Jack.
“What?” he cried defensively. “Talk to the big guy, not me!”
Before the two could banter further, they both noticed Daniel stirring.
Janet looked at Jack and sighed. “You can sit with him for a while, just try not to get him too excited.”
“He’s gonna ask about Regan and Bierle,” Jack said, as the ICU nurse appeared at Daniel’s side and reached for the cup of water on the bed table.
“Probably,” Janet agreed, then smiled at him. “You’ll know what to say. Just encourage him to rest, sir.”
Janet started to walk back to the duty station and Jack called, “Once I tell him what happened, he’s not gonna rest.”
Without stopping, Janet called back, “Just change the subject to hockey or fly fishing, Colonel. That ought to do it.”
Jack looked down at the floor then at Janet’s retreating back. “Was that a shot?”
Janet simply waved her hand and disappeared into a lab.
“That was a shot,” Jack said to himself before looking in on Daniel.
The nurse had finished futzing with a monitor and was making a note on the chart, when Jack entered. The woman made no attempt to stop him. She just smiled at him, finished whatever she was writing, then put the chart away.
All the while, Daniel’s gaze followed Jack, and Jack couldn’t stop looking at Daniel. Jack grabbed the chair from the corner and pulled it next to the bed. Close enough to face Daniel. Close enough so Jack could reach in and touch Daniel’s hand if the urge overtook him.
When the nurse finally went back to her station, Jack lowered the safety rail, and smiled warmly down at Daniel.
“So...” Jack said.
“So... ”
Jack’s smile faltered slightly. “You okay?”
“Tired,” Daniel said, his voice weak and gravelly. “Feel like an elephant... is sitting on my... chest.”
Jack laid his hand on Daniel’s. “Need me to get Frasier?”
Daniel smiled and shook his head, turning his hand up so he could hold Jack’s. He sighed uncomfortably and closed his eyes for a few moments. Jack thought he was drifting off to sleep when Daniel opened his eyes and looked at him.
“Captain Regan?”
“He’s fine. He wasn’t hurt.”
“Good,” said Daniel. “He tried to...help.”
“I know.”
“Okay.” Daniel drew his lower lip between his teeth. “The lieutenant...”
Jack frowned. “He’s dead.”
“Oh.” Daniel was silent for a few moments, then, “He was... not well.”
Prudently stifling a wisecrack, Jack ran his free hand along Daniel’s arm. “No, he wasn’t.”
“My... time with the... Ancients... really confused him.”
“More like his sheltered, holy roller upbringing set him up to be confused,” Jack spat.
“Jack...”
“Don’t make this out to be somehow your fault, Daniel,” Jack said pointedly but gently. “It’s not.”
“I know,” he said after a beat.
“Good,” Jack replied. “Now, I’m supposed get you to rest, or else Frasier’s gonna schedule a rectal exam on me. So try to get some sleep, ba-buddy.”
Daniel arched an eyebrow while Jack cautiously glanced over his shoulder to see if the nurse had been listening. Thankfully, she seemed preoccupied with something on her computer monitor.
“Close one, Jack,” Daniel said, grinning at him.
Jack smiled back and squeezed Daniel’s hand. “Get some sleep,” he ordered again, careful of his volume. “The sooner you get better, the sooner I can take you home.”
“Pervert,” Daniel whispered, clasping Jack’s hand weakly before letting it go and losing his eyes.
Jack chuckled, patted Daniel’s arm, and settled into his chair, content to simply watch his lover sleep. He had nothing urgent pending. Well, actually, he owed Carter a phone call. Several. And his report to Hammond was due in the morning. But he’d do all that later. For the rest of the day he would stay by Daniel’s side, and thank God Daniel was still here to stay by.
Frasier said it was a miracle Daniel made it through the gate and home. But Jack didn’t believe in that stuff. Hadn’t for years. No, Daniel was one stubborn man, never giving up even when his physical body did.
But that wasn’t going to happen today. Oma wasn’t there. At least, that’s what Daniel said. But Jack thought maybe she could be. Why not? She could easily keep Daniel from noticing her presence if she wanted to. If anyone could keep a low profile, it would be Oma Desala.
Jack stuck his finger in his mouth, then held it up, thinking maybe he could catch a little of that Ancient breezy thingy they do.
“She’s not here, Jack,” Daniel said through half-lidded eyes.
Surprised and a little freaked out Daniel knew what he was doing, Jack shoved his hand in his pocket. “What?”
Daniel gave him a loving smile, then after a few moments, eventually allowed his eyes drift shut. Jack returned the smile, and continued to look on as Daniel relaxed and his breathing deepened to light snoring.
Oma or not, Jack couldn’t help but feel someone was looking out for Daniel. Had to be. Tragic childhood, lonely young life, failed academic. Savior of the world. Of many worlds.
Scruffy, nerdy, ballsy, honest, open, brilliant. Beautiful. With a passion for life that pulled a miserable and depressed Air Force Colonel along in its infectious wake until Jack emerged unwittingly back to life. Jack’s savior.
But Jack didn’t believe in that stuff.
Leaning forward in his chair, Jack draped an arm over the edge of the bed and offered up a prayer of thanks anyway.
END
********
Part Two
********
Present day...
“Where was your weapon?” Jack asked.
Regan shook his head. “I don’t know. I never found it. Maybe it was under the rubble. Maybe Rick took it from me while I was out."
“Colonel Fischer didn’t hear your radio call.”
Regan shook his head helplessly. “It must have been damaged in the explosion. Maybe it could receive, but not send. But I *know* I transmitted a call for help.”
“We’re checking into it,” Jack assured. “In the meantime, your C.O. isn’t sure what to think.”
“Apparently not.” Regan cast his eyes to the ground and shrugged. “Apparently, serving under him for two years isn’t enough to give me the benefit of the doubt.”
Jack leaned forward in his chair. “Apparently, serving under him for two years wasn’t enough for you to trust him to help when you realized Bierle was stalking Daniel.”
Regan ducked his head down further.
“This all could have been avoided had you opened your mouth months ago -- hell, even if you had said something in the gate room before you left!” Jack glared at the man, who was now rubbing the knuckle of his thumb. “You put friendship before duty, Captain. You put saving your family before saving a civilian you were supposed to be protecting.”
Regan didn’t look up. He simply nodded and whispered, “Yes, sir.”
“What happened next?” Jack asked coldly.
*************
1950 GMT 28-Apr
Planet Designation PR6-541
Matt continued his fruitless search for his P-90, while his sister’s husband continued reciting bible verses. Occasionally, Matt could hear Jackson say something, but Rick seemed to be ignoring him, reading one verse after another without pausing.
Frustrated, Matt gave up on his weapon and made his way around to near where Dr. Jackson lay on the ground. He saw Rick close his bible, keeping a finger as a placeholder.
“Dr. Jackson, you presume to encroach upon the realm of God. You’re not God.”
“Funny,” Jackson breathed, closing his eyes. “I don’t recall...ever having...claimed to be.”
“But what you’ve done-- You died. You ascended. That’s only for God. And there is only one God.”
“I think... there are some…” Jackson tried futilely to raise himself up, but only managed to shift enough to rest his head against the column. ”...people who might have... other thoughts.”
“Maybe. But we are all called by Jesus to help them to see the truth.”
“Your truth... isn’t it?”
“The truth, Dr. Jackson.” Rick turned a page.
To Jackson’s left, Matt emerged from the shadows and rose slowly to his feet. This was it.
“Rick.”
Rick glanced up at Matt and smiled. “Matt, you’re okay. Good.” He turned back to his bible. “You can help me.”
“No.” Matt shook his head and shuffled slowly forward. Rick looked up at him, puzzled. “I’m not going to help you do this.”
The other man cocked his head at him. “You just don’t understand how important this is, Matt.”
“What’s important is that you stop this. Now.”
Rick gaped at him, a look of incredulity on his face. “I can’t stop this! Don’t you see? I have to expose what he’s doing -- people have to know we’ve been tempted.”
“No. You’re wrong. You’ve made this into something it’s not. You need to stop, take a breath, and think about what you’re really doing.”
Matt’s radio continued to pop and crackle. Fischer was yelling something into it, but the static and interference made it impossible to understand.
His brother-in-law closed the book. “You don’t care about the peril we’re in?”
“What peril? There’s no peril, Rick!” Matt started towards Rick, but Rick raised his handgun.
Matt stopped and gazed at the gun. He doubted his friend’s resolve, yet... “You gonna shoot me now? This is so important you’re going to shoot me? You gonna throw your life away? You gonna toss away your family?”
Rick opened his mouth but didn’t say anything for a few bewildering moments. When he finally spoke, his voice was ominous in the stillness.
“This is the mission God has charged me with, my purpose for being here. I’ve made peace with what I’m doing and that I might not survive it.”
Matt was stunned into silence as he took in the determination in his friend’s face, his resolute conviction he was justified in murdering someone.
Rick pointed at Daniel. “This is a false god. He didn’t die. He didn’t ascend. It’s a lie. All of it -- a lie to discredit God, to mock the faithful, to undermine our belief system. And I’m going to prove it.”
Matt’s was incredulous. What the hell did he mean by that?
Matt glanced down at Jackson, who seemed to be fighting to stay conscious. Jackson needed medical attention *now*. He moved to Daniel’s right side and crouched down to feel for his pulse. His pulse was fast, breathing labored. Jackson’s holster was empty. Where the hell was Jackson’s sidearm? He turned to Rick again.
“Prove it, how? How do you prove he’s a false god if he never claimed to be one to begin with?”
Rick paused, thinking. “Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves. You will know them by their acts. Matthew 7, 15 and 16. ”
“It’s...’by their *fruits*’... actually.” Jackson corrected weakly.
“’Prophets’. Not God. Please. Stop this and let me help him.” Matt pleaded, just as he heard noises by the rubble in the doorway.
“Just wait, Matt. If he’s truly God, he’ll ascend.”
“What?” Matt was horrified.
“We’ll wait till after he dies, and watch.”
“I’m not going to let him die, Rick.” Matt pulled off his jacket and laid it over Jackson, who looked up at him through half-closed lids.
Rick shrugged and lowered his weapon, but still kept it ready. “Whatever the Lord wills.” Picking up his bible again, he opened it to another marked passage and read aloud. ”You said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will...”
Matt looked down at Jackson. The scientist was pale and clammy, his eyes unfocused.
“...I will make myself like the Most High.’ But you are brought down to the grave, to the depths of the pit. Isaiah 14, 13 through 15.”
“Dr. Jackson, I’m sorry,” Matt whispered. “I... I never thought he would do anything like this. He was never...”
Jackson’s eyes shifted to look at him. His nod was barely perceptible before the man finally closed his eyes, his rasping breaths the only reassurance that he was still there.
Matt worried his lower lip and looked around for something he could use to staunch the bleeding. Jackson’s pack was a few feet to the right, and Matt snagged it and dragged it closer.
He could hear scraping noises from the direction of the antechamber. Matt glanced briefly over at the caved-in doorway, then back to Rick who continued to read aloud passage after passage. His friend seemed to not hear their teams were trying to get through the blocked entrance. Or maybe he did hear and didn’t care.
Still, Matt felt he needed to capture Rick’s attention. And it was clear how to do it.
“You’ve lost your faith, haven’t you?”
Rick stopped reading and looked up at him. “Hardly.”
“That’s it, isn’t it?”
Rick narrowed his eyes. “No.”
“You did. Why else would you be doing all this?”
The lieutenant blinked and shifted uncomfortably while Matt pulled out a t-shirt from Jackson’s pack.
“You’re not trying to prove to everyone else that he’s *not* God. You’re trying to prove that God is still God. Because *you* don’t believe it anymore. Because *you* lost your faith.”
Drawing back, Rick looked at his friend malevolently. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Sure, I do,” Matt pressed. “If Jackson can ascend, then who was Jesus? What was Jesus? That’s what you’re asking yourself.”
Rick was clearly caught off-guard, mouth gaping as his mind seemed to search for the words to put there. He looked at his bible.
Matt took advantage of his distraction to wad up the t-shirt and put it over the wound. As he lifted his jacket and tugged at Jackson’s BDU shirt, he saw that Jackson’s fingers were on the handle of his Beretta, which was lodged under his right hip.
“That’s blasphemy!” Rick raged.
Matt looked up at him fiercely, “Hey, I’m not the one who cooked up this lunatic scheme to murder someone so I could feel better about God!”
“That’s not what I’m doing!” Rick shouted back.
Rocks cascaded down the uppermost pile of rubble and light pierced the dark confines of the temple chamber. Shouts rang out from the other side as the teams pushed through. Startled, Rick stood up and looked at the doorway.
Matt had to get him to listen.
“Rick, you can stop this now. Put the gun down, and let’s get Dr. Jackson out of here.”
Rick continued to stare at the door, shaking his head. “No. I can’t... I can’t fail my mission.”
“What about Katie? What about your unborn son? Do you want him to grow up without you?” Matt was pleading.
Rick looked intently at Matt for a few dazed moments. “Son? I’m... I’m having a son?” he whispered.
“Yes. Yes, you are. Katie let it slip it’s a boy.” Matt’s sister had sworn him to secrecy.
“A boy...” Rick said distractedly. “My son.”
“Yes. Your son. Your boy. And I’m going to have a nephew. Come on, man. Please!”
“I...” Tears brimmed Rick’s eyes.
“Please, Rick, he’s gonna need his father. My sister is going to need her husband. Please!” Matt’s eyes were also filling. Leavenworth was better than death. He had to make him see that.
“I...” Rick looked at him helplessly, a tear escaping down his face. He swallowed deep then cleared his throat. “I... have a mission. I have to do this for my son. I have to see this through. Jesus died for me. He’ll forgive...”
The hole in the door widened, more light spilled into the chamber. Matt couldn’t see around the altar, but it was obvious the teams were crawling through the gap.
“Rick, please, I’m begging you. Lemme take you home. We can get you help.”
“Regan! Bierle!” Alvarez shouted angrily, but Rick had raised his handgun and was pointing it at Jackson. A gunshot shook the chamber, showering it with debris and dust and chaos.
*************
Present day...
Jack reached for the file on the floor, giving Regan a break. The other man had retreated to the bunk, his back to the wall, knees drawn to his chest and his head in his hands.
Jack flipped through the file for a few moments. He believed Regan. Bad judgment. Miscommunication. No communication. It was conceivable Regan wouldn’t do any time, but whether he was going to be transferred to another assignment, busted down to private, maybe even discharged, Jack couldn’t guess. He certainly wasn’t going to be working at Stargate Command. Hammond took dereliction of duty very seriously.
Regan swiped angrily at his eyes and finally looked up.
“So, after Dr. Jackson fired the gun?” Jack asked.
“I saw-” Regan stopped abruptly, and stared at Jack. Then just as quickly, his gaze shifted to the floor. “Uh... I saw Rick on the ground. I went over to help, but Major Alvarez pulled me away and told me to get out. The rest of my team and SG-11 were there trying to help Dr. Jackson. Trying to get him and Rick out of there.” He let out an exhausted sigh. “The rest you know, sir.”
Jack studied the man for a few more moments, then nodded and closed the file.
“You’ll be meeting with a JAG lawyer this afternoon,” he told the marine, who responded with a silent nod. “In the meantime, I’ll be talking with General Hammond.”
“Yes, sir,” Regan whispered.
Jack stood up and moved the chair back to where it belonged, then turned to face Regan. “I won’t pull any punches, Regan. This whole thing tanked because you didn’t act when you had the chance. We depend on the good judgment of our people in the field. Good judgment gets people home safely.”
Regan nodded again, gazing sadly at his hands in his lap. “I know tha... I knew that, sir. And no one is as sorry as I am about this whole damned, fucked up mess.”
Jack looked at the man for a moment, then sighed heavily and knocked on the window of the cell door. A moment later, the SF stationed outside pushed open the door.
“Colonel?” Jack stopped and turned back to Regan. The younger officer was rubbing at his thumb again. “How is Dr. Jackson?”
Jack swallowed hard. “I don’t know.”
Regan looked down. “For what it’s worth, he’s in my prayers, sir.”
Jack stared at Regan for a few awkward moments. Daniel was in his prayers? In his prayers? What the hell good was that? What balls! If Regan had done his duty, there wouldn’t be any need for his damned, useless prayers. What could Jack say to that? What could he say to a man whose silence and misplaced loyalty may have cost him Daniel?
Overcome by a sense déjà vu, he left the cell without saying anything. He had no idea what he would have done or said had he stayed, but the file folder bore the brunt of his clenched fist.
He was headed towards General Hammond’s office, but instead, found himself getting off the elevator at the infirmary level. He needed reassurance. He needed to see this wasn’t history repeating itself. He needed to see Daniel.
Janet Frasier saw him coming and met him at the window of the ICU. Jack peered in to look at Daniel. A nurse was hanging another bag of fluids and making notes on a chart.
“His vitals are improving,” Janet said quietly. “Of course, he’s still not out of the woods, but things are going in the right direction.”
Jack nodded grimly. “Can I go in, doc?”
“I just had to shoo Teal’c away, sir.”
A few moments of silence passed before Jack heard Janet sigh.
“Five minutes, sir. Please, try not to disturb him. He…”
Jack didn’t wait for her to finish the sentence, getting his butt into the ICU before she could change her mind. The ICU nurse had just put Daniel’s chart away and, careful of her patient's welfare, nearly stopped Jack. He appreciated the show of concern for Daniel, but even so, something in his expression made her back off and instead retreat meekly to her station.
Setting his folder down at the foot of the bed, Jack stood there and watched Daniel sleep. They’d been through this before; the nasal cannula, the IV drips, the beeps and wooshes of monitors and machines. No privacy.
That was the hardest part -- watching and not being able to touch. Jack’s jaw clenched as memories of another time, of another zealotry, of small-minded paranoia and incompetence, of.... death, way too damn close.
“Aw, Danny,” Jack whispered. Unconsciously, he laid a hand on Daniel’s foot and swallowed hard. Then, in a low voice he addressed the ceiling. “Oma, if you’re hanging around, unless you can do something productive like heal him without the glowy strings attached, then do it. Otherwise, go the hell away.”
His gaze fell back on Daniel, who, surprisingly, was returning his gaze through half-lidded eyes.
“Daniel?”
“She’s... not... here,” Daniel whispered weakly, a small grin on his face.
Jack moved to the head of the bed and looked for the nurse, who was already moving towards them. Cupping the top of Daniel’s head, he said, “Hey.”
Daniel smiled and closed his eyes. “Hey.”
The nurse was there and touched Daniel’s arm. “Dr. Jackson?” Daniel opened his eyes, and she said, “Welcome back. I’ll get Dr. Frasier.” And she was gone again.
Daniel nodded and closed his eyes again as Jack leaned in close to his ear, lightly stroking his hair. “You sure Oma’s not here?”
Daniel breathed, “Positive.”
“Okay,” Jack said cautiously, wondering - worrying how Daniel could tell, but willing to take his word for it. At least for now. “That’s a good sign, right?”
Daniel opened his eyes again, staring up into Jack’s. “I’m not... going any...where, Jack,” he said, weak but quietly assured. “Promise.”
Jack had somehow managed to thread the fingers of his other hand through Daniel’s. He gazed a bit longer at the exhausted deep blue of his lover’s eyes and swallowed hard. “Okay.” Squeezing Daniel’s hand, Jack dipped his forehead so it touched Daniel’s, reveling in the feel of Daniel’s pulse and the warmth of his breath.
“I have to go see General Hammond,” Jack said after only a few snatched moments of peace.
Daniel was too tired to protest. Reluctantly, Jack pulled away, giving Daniel’s hand another squeeze before letting go just as Janet and the nurse entered the ICU.
“Sir, I need to check on Daniel,” Frasier said, stepping into Jack’s space. “I have to ask you to step outside.”
“I’m going, I’m going,” Jack said, already making his way to the exit. Grabbing the folder on Regan, Jack looked again at Daniel, pleased to find him still watching and even feebly smiling.
Jack returned his smile and let go a huge sigh, his first release of tension since Daniel was hurt, before turning and leaving the ICU.
************
Jack stood looking out of the window of the briefing room, having just finished his report to General Hammond. The general leaned back in his chair, waiting patiently for Jack to say something, but he was silent. He just stood there in a paralyzing rage.
Teal’c was there, too, seated at the table, scowling, his jaws tightly clenched. His hands were folded, as if loosening them would unleash his own fury.
Any other day Jack could and would rant on incessantly about properly vetting personnel, about incompetence, about stupid mistakes that got people killed, about inbred, knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathers who got people killed. But the only person he wanted to kill was dead. And he couldn’t beat the shit out of the guy who could have prevented all this, because apparently, they court martial people for that.
What could he say? And besides, he wouldn’t be telling the general anything the general didn’t already know.
Jack made his way back to the table and sat down. “Do you believe, after all this, that asshole had the balls to tell me Daniel was in his prayers?” Jack said disgustedly, folding his hands on the table.
General Hammond pondered Regan’s prayers for a moment. “A nice gesture.” Jack peered up at the general, who shrugged. “He can’t change what happened. If he is genuinely remorseful, this is really all he can do.”
“He can shove his prayers up his ass sideways,” Jack said leaning back in his chair. “I’ve about had it with zealots.”
“Would not the zealot be Lieutenant Bierle, O’Neill?” asked Teal’c.
Jack shot Teal’c a withering glance, then said to Hammond, “How could someone like Bierle have slipped under our radar?”
The general shook his head. “Everyone goes through the same screening process, Colonel. Their service record is reviewed -- education, medical, legal, family history. And of course there’s the psychological evaluation. The lieutenant’s record was clean, he had outstanding ratings from his commanding officers prior to being recommended for the Stargate Program. You read his file, too.”
Jack’s gaze fell back on the tabletop.
“Jack, from what you described as Captain Regan’s experience with Lieutenant Bierle, even he didn’t expect this kind of behavior from his friend. Obviously, the trigger for Bierle’s... breakdown, for lack of a better word, was Dr. Jackson’s experience as an ascended being.”
General Hammond sighed. “You know me, Jack. I’m a religious man, I attend church regularly and believe in the gospel, and I’ll be honest: after Dr. Jackson... ascended...”
Hammond let the thought die, but Jack understood what the older man was trying to say. Daniel’s ascension caused those who had witnessed it to question, to wonder. Jack had been too overwhelmed with grief and anger at the time to care, but later when he allowed himself to think about it, some interesting correlations came to mind.
“Yes, sir.” Jack did understand. “It crossed my mind, but not being that religious to begin with...”
The general dipped his head in acknowledgment. “Someone of Bierle’s background -- missionary parents, devout, dogmatic... Clearly, we need to reconsider our screening process, maybe even the briefings for new recruits, although I’m not sure that will completely eliminate the potential for a repeat.”
“So we need to make sure the existing teams are watching out for this kind of crap,” Jack said.
“I’m way ahead of you, Colonel,” the General said. “I’ve already scheduled a meeting with the team leaders to discuss just that.”
“Good.”
Hammond sat in silence for a few long moments. “We have a more pressing issue.” Teal’c and Jack exchanged glances before the general spoke. “I’ve canceled Captain Regan’s meeting with the JAG lawyer. It won’t be necessary. I won’t be pursuing any criminal charges against him.”
Before Jack could open his mouth, Hammond raised a hand.
“It’s clear from your report he had no knowledge of Lieutenant Bierle’s plans,” the general explained. “Up until this mission, he’s been a good and reliable officer. Still, it doesn’t negate the fact he showed very poor judgment; serious dereliction of duty. I’m recommending a demotion and reassignment elsewhere.”
“Sir, I--”
“My concern, Colonel, is that pursuing this matter further would bring in even more players and more light on the Stargate Program, and draw even more unwanted attention to Dr. Jackson’s rather... extraordinary experiences. I’d just as soon not have a repeat of what happened after Dr. Jackson’s return to from the ‘dead’.”
Jack dropped his sullen gaze to the floor, remembering the very intense, harrowing days immediately following their bringing Daniel home from Vis Uban. Word had spread of Daniel’s return from the higher plane, and the NID wanted him. Wanted to see if Daniel had any latent abilities he couldn’t remember, wanted to question him, test him, and -- Jack would bet his mortgage -- experiment on him. They’d received authorization to remove Daniel to Area 51, and were hours away from doing so, but Hammond had pitched a fit, phoning the president, calling in every favor owed to keep Daniel out of their hands. Jack had never seen Hammond so angry, and so determined.
“We managed to ride out the storm then, Jack,” Hammond said gently. “But I knew the players and I could control the flow of information. Pursuing this... I just can’t guarantee I’ll be able to maintain that level of need-to-know, and God only knows where it could go from there, particularly with Kinsey as vice president and...”
Two of Jack’s hot buttons lit up.
“Well, maybe a cold dose of ascension reality for Kinsey and some of his right wing, religious nut job cronies and political hacks might be in order,” Jack said sourly. “Hey, Kinsey!” he called to the invisible vice president. “Hang onto to your bible! The Buddhists are right!”
Teal’c’s eyebrow road up his forehead, while the General leaned forward in his chair, placing his clasped hands on the table. “Jack, do you really believe certain people of this world are ready to hear about this? A modern-day man’s ascension to a different plane of existence?”
“Why not? Why not help get some of these people to do some critical thinking for a change. What a concept!”
General Hammond said nothing and Teal’c leaned back in his chair.
“O’Neill, we have seen how one very pious man behaved with the knowledge of Daniel Jackson’s ascension,” Teal’c said gravely, steepling his fingers. He looked at General Hammond. “Widespread knowledge of this could have grave implications among many of the Tau’ri.”
“It could,” Hammond solemnly agreed. “Mostly political. And ideological. We have far too many ideologues in power, and they are masters at manipulation and spread fear. As things stand right now, Kinsey can’t throw his weight around as he’d like because not enough of his people know about the Stargate Program. At least, not officially.”
“Hypocritical, power-mongering, self-serving dickhead,” Jack mumbled, contemplating the window overlooking the gate room. He hadn’t meant for the general to hear that, but he heard Hammond chuckle lightly.
“I believe it to be a wiser course to, as you say, allow sleeping dogs to lie.” Teal’c offered.
“I agree,” Hammond said.
Jack looked at Teal’c. “T, that’s surprising coming from you. Your experience with false gods... I would think--”
“I do not believe all gods are false, O’Neill,” Teal’c answered, cocking his head. “Nor am I prepared to judge those worshipped by the Tau’ri as such.”
Jack steamed quietly for a few moments before the general spoke. “I know you want to throw the book at him, but I strongly believe revealing the source of Bierle’s... delusions, to an even wider circle of people, would be a serious mistake. At least, at this time.”
Jack pursed his lips. Of course, the general was right. Jack knew it even before opening his mouth to protest, knew it as soon as Fischer delivered his initial report to Jack and Hammond upon their return from the planet.
This would have to stay quiet, minimize the number of people involved, silence the reasons for Bierle’s delusional behavior, keep Daniel far away from other Bierles.
Jack felt the general’s gaze on him and looked up. He grimaced and then nodded his understanding.
“Yes, sir,” he said. “You’re right.”
Hammond cleared his throat and leaned back in his chair. “I should point out, Jack,” Hammond added with a wry smile, “there are far more reasonable, sensible, compassionate and intelligent people of faith in this world than there are extremists and ‘nut jobs’.”
“Yes, sir,” Jack conceded, suitably chastised.
General Hammond sighed and glanced at his watch. “Well, I’m briefing Colonel Fischer and Major Alvarez on your interview with Regan in about 15 minutes and getting their feedback and ideas. I’ll let you know what comes of it.” Rising from his chair, he looked at the two members of SG-1 who also stood. “Colonel, your written report can wait until the morning. Why don’t you two go see how our boy’s doing?”
“Thanks, General,” Jack said as Teal’c dipped his head to Hammond.
“Meanwhile, I better give Major Carter a call,” the general said, starting for his office and shaking his head in feigned annoyance. “She’s left four voice mails asking after Dr. Jackson, and no one’s returning her calls.” He spared a pointed glare over his shoulder at his 2IC before disappearing into his office.
Jack winced. “My bad.”
He glanced at Teal’c and chose to ignore the man’s accusing eyebrow.
“Come on, T,” he said, bumping shoulders with him and heading for the exit. “Let’s go see Daniel.”
********
Jack and Teal’c stood side-by-side at the window of the ICU gazing in at their sleeping teammate. Jack wasn’t interested in what he could see on the monitors, just watching the easy rise and fall of Daniel’s chest was enough. And for some odd reason, it occurred to Jack to offer up a prayer of thanks to whatever Higher Power that watches over space-traveling, Goa’uld-baiting, gun-toting, too-damned-smart-for-their-own-good archaeologists.
So he did.
“Daniel Jackson seems to be doing well,” Teal’c said, not taking his eyes away from his friend in the bed.
“Yeah,” Jack said quietly, but with more confidence than he had just a few hours before. “According to him, Oma’s not hanging around, so...”
Teal’c nodded. “So perhaps Oma Desala knows she is not needed.”
“Nope.” Even if she were, Jack wasn’t about to let Daniel go anywhere without him. Package deal, Oma, Jack thought. Me and Daniel. Daniel and me. Where he goes, I go. No negotiating.
The familiar sound of quick heels on linoleum signaled the arrival of Janet Frasier. She offered the two men a warm smile when she joined them at the window.
“He’s running a low-grade fever, but he’s still doing well,” Janet said, staring at her patient. “He’ll have a long recovery, and when he’s released, he’ll need live-in support for a while.”
She glanced up at Jack, who replied simply, “Already got that covered, Doc.”
“Good,” she said. “While you were gone, Daniel asked what happened with Captain Regan and Lieutenant Bierle. He was worried about Regan, but then he wanted to know if Bierle was in custody.” Jack looked at Janet, confused. “Daniel said to remind everyone Bierle was sick and needs help.”
After a few moments of stunned silence, Jack asked, “He doesn’t remember?”
“Apparently not.”
“Does Daniel Jackson suffer from amnesia?” asked Teal’c.
Janet shrugged, “Could be -- he lost a lot of blood, but I doubt it. Maybe there’s some psychological trauma playing with his memory.
“Maybe,” Jack agreed, turning back to the window. “I’d rather he didn’t remember shooting Bierle. He’s got enough to deal with, just trying to understand why Bierle shot him.”
Janet glanced back at Jack. “Dr. Jackson killed Lieutenant Bierle?”
“Yeah,” Jack explained. “Well, at least that’s what Major Alvarez said. Daniel’s service weapon was on the ground by his side, and it had been fired. Regan was with Bierle on the ground.”
Janet shook her head. “I don’t think Daniel did it, sir.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Well, I operated on Bierle. The bullet entered his chest at a very slight angle downward. According to Corporal Eaton, Bierle was standing just before he was shot. To get that angle of entry, Daniel would have had to have been standing, too.”
Jack stared off in the distance as this new realization clicked into place.
Teal’c looked at Jack. “The others also reported that when they entered the chamber, they observed Lieutenant Bierle on his feet, aiming his weapon.”
Jack returned Teal’c gaze. “And they heard the gunshot and saw Bierle fall. When they got through all the rubble, they found Captain Regan holding Bierle in his arms.”
“With Daniel Jackson’s weapon at his side and Captain Regan holding Lieutenant Bierle, an assumption was made.”
“Regan,” Jack declared in a low tone. He leaned back against the ICU window.
Janet asked, “Did Captain Regan say Daniel shot Lieutenant Bierle?”
“No.” Jack said, thinking carefully. “No, he didn’t. And he didn’t correct me when I mentioned Daniel’s shooting Bierle, either.”
Jack turned and leaned on the rim of the window, peering in thoughtfully at Daniel’s slumbering form. Slumbering only because Regan finally decided to act. Because Regan stopped his best friend, his sister’s husband, father of his unborn nephew, from finishing what he...
“Regan saved Daniel’s life,” Jack confirmed.
Somewhat incredulous, Janet asked, “Why didn’t he say anything? Why did he let everyone think Daniel did it?”
“Perhaps it is because he did not want to do it,” Teal’c speculated.
Jack was inclined to agree with Teal’c. Considering Regan’s current situation -- his newly-widowed sister due any day, he’s the reason she’s newly-widowed though she doesn’t know it yet, he’s about to be demoted to lieutenant (or worse) and reassigned...
But he saved Daniel. Yeah, kinda late in the game, but he came through in the end.
Jack suddenly felt a little sorry for the guy. A little.
“General Hammond is meeting with Fischer and Alvarez,” Jack said. “They need to know this.”
“I will inform them,” Teal’c said, stepping away from the window. “In the meantime, perhaps Dr. Frasier will allow one of us to see Daniel Jackson.”
Janet glared at him as he started for the exit. “Subtle, Teal’c.”
Teal’c glanced back at her when he reached the door, his signature smirk on his face.
“Thanks, T,” Jack called to him. The other man nodded and disappeared out the door.
“Hmph,” Janet said, folding her arms and staring disapprovingly at Jack.
“What?” he cried defensively. “Talk to the big guy, not me!”
Before the two could banter further, they both noticed Daniel stirring.
Janet looked at Jack and sighed. “You can sit with him for a while, just try not to get him too excited.”
“He’s gonna ask about Regan and Bierle,” Jack said, as the ICU nurse appeared at Daniel’s side and reached for the cup of water on the bed table.
“Probably,” Janet agreed, then smiled at him. “You’ll know what to say. Just encourage him to rest, sir.”
Janet started to walk back to the duty station and Jack called, “Once I tell him what happened, he’s not gonna rest.”
Without stopping, Janet called back, “Just change the subject to hockey or fly fishing, Colonel. That ought to do it.”
Jack looked down at the floor then at Janet’s retreating back. “Was that a shot?”
Janet simply waved her hand and disappeared into a lab.
“That was a shot,” Jack said to himself before looking in on Daniel.
The nurse had finished futzing with a monitor and was making a note on the chart, when Jack entered. The woman made no attempt to stop him. She just smiled at him, finished whatever she was writing, then put the chart away.
All the while, Daniel’s gaze followed Jack, and Jack couldn’t stop looking at Daniel. Jack grabbed the chair from the corner and pulled it next to the bed. Close enough to face Daniel. Close enough so Jack could reach in and touch Daniel’s hand if the urge overtook him.
When the nurse finally went back to her station, Jack lowered the safety rail, and smiled warmly down at Daniel.
“So...” Jack said.
“So... ”
Jack’s smile faltered slightly. “You okay?”
“Tired,” Daniel said, his voice weak and gravelly. “Feel like an elephant... is sitting on my... chest.”
Jack laid his hand on Daniel’s. “Need me to get Frasier?”
Daniel smiled and shook his head, turning his hand up so he could hold Jack’s. He sighed uncomfortably and closed his eyes for a few moments. Jack thought he was drifting off to sleep when Daniel opened his eyes and looked at him.
“Captain Regan?”
“He’s fine. He wasn’t hurt.”
“Good,” said Daniel. “He tried to...help.”
“I know.”
“Okay.” Daniel drew his lower lip between his teeth. “The lieutenant...”
Jack frowned. “He’s dead.”
“Oh.” Daniel was silent for a few moments, then, “He was... not well.”
Prudently stifling a wisecrack, Jack ran his free hand along Daniel’s arm. “No, he wasn’t.”
“My... time with the... Ancients... really confused him.”
“More like his sheltered, holy roller upbringing set him up to be confused,” Jack spat.
“Jack...”
“Don’t make this out to be somehow your fault, Daniel,” Jack said pointedly but gently. “It’s not.”
“I know,” he said after a beat.
“Good,” Jack replied. “Now, I’m supposed get you to rest, or else Frasier’s gonna schedule a rectal exam on me. So try to get some sleep, ba-buddy.”
Daniel arched an eyebrow while Jack cautiously glanced over his shoulder to see if the nurse had been listening. Thankfully, she seemed preoccupied with something on her computer monitor.
“Close one, Jack,” Daniel said, grinning at him.
Jack smiled back and squeezed Daniel’s hand. “Get some sleep,” he ordered again, careful of his volume. “The sooner you get better, the sooner I can take you home.”
“Pervert,” Daniel whispered, clasping Jack’s hand weakly before letting it go and losing his eyes.
Jack chuckled, patted Daniel’s arm, and settled into his chair, content to simply watch his lover sleep. He had nothing urgent pending. Well, actually, he owed Carter a phone call. Several. And his report to Hammond was due in the morning. But he’d do all that later. For the rest of the day he would stay by Daniel’s side, and thank God Daniel was still here to stay by.
Frasier said it was a miracle Daniel made it through the gate and home. But Jack didn’t believe in that stuff. Hadn’t for years. No, Daniel was one stubborn man, never giving up even when his physical body did.
But that wasn’t going to happen today. Oma wasn’t there. At least, that’s what Daniel said. But Jack thought maybe she could be. Why not? She could easily keep Daniel from noticing her presence if she wanted to. If anyone could keep a low profile, it would be Oma Desala.
Jack stuck his finger in his mouth, then held it up, thinking maybe he could catch a little of that Ancient breezy thingy they do.
“She’s not here, Jack,” Daniel said through half-lidded eyes.
Surprised and a little freaked out Daniel knew what he was doing, Jack shoved his hand in his pocket. “What?”
Daniel gave him a loving smile, then after a few moments, eventually allowed his eyes drift shut. Jack returned the smile, and continued to look on as Daniel relaxed and his breathing deepened to light snoring.
Oma or not, Jack couldn’t help but feel someone was looking out for Daniel. Had to be. Tragic childhood, lonely young life, failed academic. Savior of the world. Of many worlds.
Scruffy, nerdy, ballsy, honest, open, brilliant. Beautiful. With a passion for life that pulled a miserable and depressed Air Force Colonel along in its infectious wake until Jack emerged unwittingly back to life. Jack’s savior.
But Jack didn’t believe in that stuff.
Leaning forward in his chair, Jack draped an arm over the edge of the bed and offered up a prayer of thanks anyway.
END